Lisa the Boy Scout/Quotes
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- Male Ashley: Attention, corporate overlords, we are Pseudo-nonymous, and we have taken over this broadcast. We are the anarchist collective of nameless hacktivists who published the internal emails of Waffle House and brought Home Depot's "Find a store near you" feature to its knees.
- Female Ashley: Now we have hacked into the Disney Corporation's servers and seized hundreds of hours of never-before-aired footage from the television show The Simpsons. Stories so ill-conceived, so idiotic that their exposure would destroy the value of the very I.P. itself.
- Male Ashley: Until we are paid a ransom of $20 million in Bitcoin, we will air these show-destroying scenes one after another, starting now.
- Carl Carlson: No, no, it can't be true!
- Homer: It is true, Carl. There never was a Lenny.
- Carl: So Lenny was just a figment of my imagination? I... I made him up?
- Moe Szyslak: Yeah, your psyche created "Lenny" to help you deal with a terrible trauma there.
- Carl: What trauma?
- Homer: Finding out your previous best friend wasn't real. It's kind of a thing with you.
- Future Bart: Greetings, lamewads from the past! I have come back in time to reveal the events of the future, so that you can amaze the world with your uncannily accurate predictions!
- Homer: Less yelling, more foretelling.
- Future Bart: Disney buys Fox.
- Homer: And then they both go under?!
- Future Bart: No, they're both absorbed by Panda Express. Pretty much everything now is Panda Express.
- Bart: That makes sense.
- Lisa: I get it.
- Reggie: Always with the quitting, this one. I can't do that, Doreen! The police department needs someone inside the school!
- Doreen: So why's it got to be you?
- Reggie: Look at me, Didi. I'm the only 36-year-old who can pass for ten!
- Male Ashley: They still haven't paid the ransom. Did they not see the nonsense we just released? How is Martin Prince an adult cop?
- Female Ashley: Well, maybe I overestimated how much Disney cares about Lenny.
- Female Ashley: Wait! Why did the voice-changing app switch off?
- Male Ashley: Bollocks. I didn't upgrade to the premium edition, and the free trial period ran out, I'm afraid. I am so daft.
- Professor Frink: Uh, yes. The day is Sol, uh, 150. I am stranded on Mars. I suspect my fellow astronauts left me behind on purpose, as from the bathroom I did hear the giggling and the shushing and the "Blast off quick before he's done tinkling." I have a mere three days of air and water remaining. There is no hope. Unless I glayvenate the hydrogen, flavenize the oxygen, and, yes, yes, poopulate the soil!
- Homer: Hello. This is Homer Simpson. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize to the great, great, great people of Finland for what I said. I have done many, many, many, many, many episodes, and in one of those... just one... I mixed you up with Norway. And I have so, so, so, so, so much love and respect for... I think "Finns" is what you're called. And if I ever... I mean ever... Ever, ever, ever thought that an innocent slip of the tongue is something that an entire nation could get worked up about, I would've kept my mouth shut. And the scary, scary, scary, oh-so-scary lawyers of the giant, giant... I mean giant... So, so giant, scary corporation I work for would not have had to draft this statement. God bless you and all the peoples of South America, for you are a... What? What do you mean I have to record it again? What did I say?
- Ned Flanders: That's it. Boys, we're Jewish now.
- Rod Flanders: L'chaim!
- Todd Flanders: To life!
- Dr. Hibbert: With this level of sour cream in your blood, your brain is completely starved of oxygen. Consequently, you're a moron.
- Comic Book Guy: A perfect explanation. Succinct and devastating. Infinite stars! Best. Diagnosis. Ev...
- Chief Wiggum: I know Eddie is Ralph's father. Look at the hair. Look at the hair!
- Sarah Wiggum: No, Clancy, I swear to you it's not true.
- Eddie: My son's breath smells like cat food.
- Sarah Wiggum: Okay, you got me.
- Milhouse Van Houten: I did a DNA test. I'm not your son.
- Kirk Van Houten: Luann, how could you?!
- Milhouse: I'm not hers either.
- Luann Van Houten: We're not your parents? Oh, thank God!
- Kirk: All right.
- Groundskeeper Willie: Rake-y, I'm not your real father. And I'm not Scottish, I'm Welsh! Oh, don't turn your back on me.
- Marge: Oh, Homie. You're awake.
- Homer: What happened?
- Lisa: You've been in a coma ever since you tried to jump Springfield Gorge.
- Homer: How long?
- Lisa: Two days ago.
- Homer: Two days? But... I had so many adventures. More than 700.
- Marge: Those were all coma dreams. None of them ever happened.
- Homer: [sobs] The "B" stories, too? I never had a pet lobster? I never went to space? What about the Halloweens?!
- Female Ashley: Take one more step and I'll blow this I.P. to Magic Kingdom come.
- FBI Agent: Go ahead. You've already released all the Simpsons files. No one cared. The only people still watching that show are football fans who passed out with the TV on.
- Female Ashley: I am not talking about The Simpsons. We've hacked into all of Disney. That means Star Wars, Marvel, Pixar. We've even got... Nat Geo.
- FBI Agent: You monsters.
- Homer: While you were gone, your mom and I almost got divorced over something insignificant.
- Marge: Luckily, your dad apologized.
- Homer: Yup, I got it down at this point. It's all about the eye contact.
- Marge: He knows what works.
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