My Life as a Vlog/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Marge: Hey, guys. It's your favorite YouTube family vloggers: the Simpsons.
- Lisa: Coinstar bought us a new house, and we're gonna give you the grand tour.
- Homer: Come on in. Take your shoes off first. All 50 million of you. [laughs]
- Marge: Now, we can't tell you where the new house is located because we value our privacy.
- Homer: Which you know if you watched our last family therapy sesh where Marge begged me to stop filming our therapy seshes. Video link in bio.
- Marge: How you holding up, Krusty? Ready for number four?
- Krusty the Clown: I'm not gonna lie, number three feels like it's not done with me, but my agent said this is what talk shows are now, so... bring it on.
- Marge: Next up, The Coagulator. A tuna melt dipped in funnel cake batter, then fried in hot mayonnaise. It clocks in at 300,000 on the Lethargo Scale.
- Ominous voice: Attention, Internet. It is I, Truth Wizard. The Simpsons are not who you think they are, and I can't let these lies continue for even one more sec...
- Luann Van Houten: Milhouse, why are you sitting in the dark? You'll ruin your eyes.
- Milhouse Van Houten: Mom!
- Luann: The doctor said your nose can't support thicker glasses.
- Milhouse: I'm recording a takedown. Get out.
- Homer: I'm getting a hammer.
- Marge: No.
- Homer: You never let me get the hammer!
- Studio executive: We got Maggie's room all set up for the ultimate immersive Nom-Nom experience.
- Homer: Uh, one little hiccup. Maggie's terrified of Nom-Noms, especially the girl one.
- Milhouse: Poor Maggie. Although I like the girl Nom-Nom. I like her a lot. I like the way her glasses have eyelashes and...
- Professor Frink: Um... in summary, I have concluded that the Simpsons are being held hostage by a major tech company. Now, I cannot say which one, but, um, follow the Google Doodles.
- Mike Wegman: Let me tell you something, Homer Simpsons has done more for this country than Dr. Fauci and Dr. Pimple Popper combined. It's not his fault he has a trash son with a face like a lunch bag, okay? Leave Homer Simpsons alone! Leave him alone!
- Nelson Muntz: What's up, guys? Today we had a whole cemetery parkour segment ready to go, but instead we've got a big announcement.
- Dolph Shapiro: The location of the Simpsons' mansion has always been super secret, but we figured out where it is.
- Kearney Zzyzwicz: We found clues in all their old videos. We're talking regional birdsongs, town-specific ice cream truck jingle. But the clincher? My mom's dating a guy who got fired from the post office, and he gave us their address.
- Shauna Chalmers: Shut up. I can't hear myself Shauna.
- Homer: Well, Opal, our house had been built by a company we partnered with that, at that point, had only built NFTs of houses. [laughs] They installed the panic room door backwards.
- Marge: You could get in, but you can't get out.
- Marge: We were trapped, and it was all Homer's fault.
- Homer: What? You said it was nobody's fault.
- Marge: That's what I'm supposed to feel, but I'm not there yet.
- Homer: We are completely offline now. I don't even check email anymore, but that's mainly 'cause we moved back to Evergreen Terrace, and our neighborino changed his Wi-Fi passwordily-durdily.
