When Nelson Met Lisa/Quotes
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"When Nelson Met Lisa"
- Lisa: What have you been doing since fourth grade?
- Nelson Muntz: Very little. I tried sushi. Didn't like it. That's about it.
- Nelson: [thinking] She's leaning in, and I'm not looking down her shirt. I must really respect her.
- Nelson: So, have you been seeing anybody?
- Lisa: Of course. [scoffs] You think I, Lisa Simpson, could go through four years of college without a single date? There's this amazing guy. Vegan but not, you know, "vegan." [chuckles] Majors in pony studies. [giggles]
- Nelson: Sounds perfect. What's his name?
- Lisa: Um... Fred. Fred Gormanshenlen. Gorm... Grim... Mm-hmm, Fred Gormanshenlen.
- Marge: Bart! Did you find Lisa?
- Bart: She's up there talking to the kid who used to beat me up all the time.
- Homer: The vest one or the hat one?
- Bart: Vest.
- Homer: Always liked him.
- Homer: Lisa, since you're moving to the big city, let me give you some very important advice: the police horses will not share their oats. I repeat: not share their oats.
- Homer: What am I supposed to do? Narrate? What does that mean? [clears throat] It's "S" years later. Oh, wait, five years later. Oh! Narrating is hard. Lisa and Nelson have not seen each other since college, but five-uddenly, I mean, but suddenly...
- Nelson: Remember that principal we arrested for matricide?
- Lisa: [gasps] Skinner killed his mother?
- Nelson: No, mattress-cide. He ripped the tag off his mattress.
- Rottweiler: Your hand feels as soft as a baby's bottom.
- Hubert Wong: And yours feels like a busted driveway.
- Hubert and Rott: Thank you.
- Rott: We met when I hauled his fat carcass in for the reward.
- Nelson: I had an overdue library book. I got stuck on this one word: "new ants"?
- Rott: Nuance! Nuance! Love you.
- Nelson: Lisa, I'm tired of only seeing you every five years. I'd like to see you every three years or two or... or... on a weekly basis!
- Lisa: Nelson Muntz, I would really like to get to know you better, too.
- Milhouse Van Houten: What about Milhouse? If I'm a simulation, why am I so lonely? Who does that benefit?
- Mrs. Muntz: They say if you love something, let it go. And if it loves you, it'll come back. Ex-Except for your turtle which got smushed by that mail truck.
- Krusty the Clown: Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. And thanks to this hologram of my father who's about to perform this beautiful interfaith ceremony.
- Rabbi Krustofsky: My son, you are a big needy nothing.
- Krusty: Aw, his speech from my bar mitzvah. That always gets me.
- Sophie: People ask me, "Why Jimbo?" And I say, "Screw you, mind your own business, Mom."