• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

Crackdown

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


Crackdown
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 33
Update: Level 33
Required characters: Wiggum, Brockman, Lou, Bart, Milhouse
Optional characters: See Pt. 2 and Pt. 3
Previous quest(s): Springfield Confidential Pt. 1
Next quest(s): Springfield Confidential Pt. 2

Crackdown is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 33 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Don't you find that people are less likely to commit crimes around us because we're men?
Tapped Out Lou Icon.png I think they're less likely to because we're cops.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png No really, I think I'm onto something here. Which is why I've decided that tonight, I'm going undercover as a woman!
Tapped Out Eddie Icon.png Actually, you've been doing that a lot, Chief. I'd been meaning to talk to you about that...
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png What? Does it not look good on me? My colorist said I'm a fall, but I think I'm more of an autumn.
Task: "Make Wiggum Go on a Stake Out". The job takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png All right, boys, Quimby texted me to say good work, but that we still have a lower arrest rate than Detroit..
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png And they don't even have police there anymore.
Tapped Out Lou Icon.png But Chief, who do we arrest? We've already nailed the people who've actually committed crimes.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png I heard the word "actually" in there, Lou. Let's change that.
Task: "Make Criminals Serve Time" (x20). The jobs take place at Springfield Penitentiary and take 24 hours.
After sending Homer
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I thought Free-to-Play meant I could just take the phone from the myPhone store.
After sending Apu
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png While I consider this arrest unjust, I will confess that a night in jail is preferable to taking care of eight small children.
After sending Ned
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png Just to be clear, roomie, you'd like me to point this soap that's been carved to looked like a gun at the guard when he brings dinner?
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png And he knows that this is a joke? Well, I do love jokes!
After sending Cletus
Tapped Out Cletus Icon.png An inside outhouse what's got a sink on top of it? Free orange clothes? This is the fanciest place I's ever been in!
After sending Krusty
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I can't be in jail -- I'm a celebrity! What if no one recognizes me?!
After sending Skinner
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Call the school and anyone will tell you that this must be a Bart Simpson prank
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png So you can forget that strip search that you're about to... doooooooooooooooo!
After sending Willie
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png I had me choice of roommate between a Mexican gang killer and an Englishman who jaywalked. Jose and I are getting along just dandy.
After sending Mr. Burns
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png What ho, hoosegow-mates! Shall we all go take a gander at the strongmen in the outdoor gymnasium?
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Why are you pointing that dangerously sharp toothbrush at me?
After sending Comic Book Guy
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png This is infinitely worse than the Negative Zone Prison Alpha operated by S.H.I.E.L.D. I demand to see your Tony Stark!
After sending Rev. Lovejoy
Tapped Out Rev. Lovejoy Icon.png Lord, I've been in your service for fifteen years. I've prayed to you every day.
Tapped Out Rev. Lovejoy Icon.png Would it be too much to ask you to listen to me just once and get me out of this friggin' stinkhole?!
After sending Marge
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I know that I didn't come to a complete stop at that stop sign, but our car's transmission falls out when you do that.
After sending Moe
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png I get put in the slammer for an illegal U-turn? Well ain't that a laugh. You should see what I got in my basement!
After sending Wiggum
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Hey! I was just cleaning out this cell and the door locked behind me.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Hello? Funny mistake because we all know how cops get treated in prison. Oh God.
After sending Luigi
Tapped Out Luigi Icon.png Thrown in jail like-a spaghetti on-a a wall. And-a my only crime is being a cultural stereotype-a!
After sending Grampa
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Why? I didn't kill nobody or steal nothing or sell my pills to those bullies for a dollar a pop like I did in that dream.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Wait, who took my pills and why do I have all these dollars?
After sending Snake
Tapped Out Snake Icon.png I was fine with prison overcrowding when it was hardcore criminals... but all these moms, dads, doctors, and teachers is cruel and unusual punishment!
After sending Quimby
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Outside these walls I'm the mayor. Inside them, I, er, seem to be a ring girl for Mexican mafia yard fights.
After sending Mrs. Krabappel
Tapped Out Mrs. Krabappel Icon.png Overcrowding, dangerous occupants, horrible food – I'll go anywhere as long as it's not back to that school.
After sending Dr. Hibbert
Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon.png I'm telling you, it wasn't a drug deal! I gave Chester the money to fix my shed.
After sending Barney
Tapped Out Barney Icon.png I love jail. Prison wine is a better than Moe's beer and I don't get beat up after I pass out.
After sending Smithers
Tapped Out Smithers Icon.png My name is C. Montgomery Burns. I'm one hundred and fifteen years old and I'm ready to serve my time.
After sending Prof. Frink
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png If you might permit me to access my Frink-O-Pod, I can travel back in time to prevent the crime from ever being committed.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Plus that will allow the writer who agreed to write all these prison jokes to say no!
After sending Hank Scorpio
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png My dear officers, when I get out, I'll double your salaries to come work for me, and we'll take over the world!
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Are these potatoes peeled well enough, because I can have at them again if you'd like.
After sending Hans Moleman
Tapped Out Moleman Icon.png I accidentally tunneled my way INTO jail?! Ohhhhhh.
After sending Duffman
Tapped Out Duffman Icon.png Duffman is being approached by seven dudes with tattoos on their faces. Oh, no!
After sending Otto
Tapped Out Otto Icon.png That was not weed, man! It was oregano for my oregano brownies. Hey, you want a lid of Bob Marley Hawaiian Skunk oregano?
After sending Dr. Nick
Tapped Out Dr. Nick Icon.png Hi, everybody! Free plastic surgery in exchange for protecting me on the inside.
Tapped Out Dr. Nick Icon.png I can make you look like George Clooney... although sometimes it comes out like Rosemary Clooney. But any Clooney is good, right?
After sending Sideshow Mel
Tapped Out Sideshow Mel Icon.png I have started a Theatricum Prisonicum! But Snake was cast as Hamlet instead of me, so now I am boycotting the Theatricum Prisonicum!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Great work, boys! We've made more arrests this week than in the entire history of the S.P.D.
Tapped Out Lou Icon.png But, Chief, we haven't gone after the big fish, like Fat Tony.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png You know I'd like a big arrest, but have you ever talked to that guy? Very menacing-sounding.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png So instead we're going to round up this list of repeat offenders from the Springfield School system.
Task: "Make Youth Serve Time" (x6). The jobs take place at Springfield Penitentiary and take 24 hours.
After sending Milhouse
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I wasted my one phone call, but I had to vote on America's Top Runway Model!
After sending Bart
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Whoa, this is like Scared Straight... but without the tutoring and talks from mentors. I could get used to this!
After sending Martin
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png Improbably, prisoners have women interested in marrying them. So now finally there is hope for me!
After sending Nelson
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png Prison? Wow, I kind of jumped right to the end of my life story. Oh well, at least I got to skip a lot of boring stuff.
After sending Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'm following in the footsteps of Nelson Mandela and Benazir Bhutto. I wonder if they missed their Malibu Stacy dolls too?
After sending Ralph
Tapped Out Ralph Icon.png This camp smells hurty.
After sending Kearney
Tapped Out Kearney Icon.png I keep telling you people, I'm not a kid! I HAVE a kid. Take him instead!
After sending Squeaky Voiced Teen
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Can I put this on my resume as an internship?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Brockman's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Brockman Icon.png This is Kent Brockman reporting.
Tapped Out Brockman Icon.png Abuse of police power has reached epidemic proportions.
Tapped Out Brockman Icon.png It seems that no one is safe from their persecution, not even our clergymen, our upstanding citizens, our children...
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Our newsmen.
Tapped Out Brockman Icon.png Exactly! Wait, what?
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Just finishing your sentence. Which is funny, because we're going to get you started on a new kind of sentence right now!
Task: "Make Brockman Go in for Questioning". The job takes place at the Police Station and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Okay, so maybe arresting a bunch of kids and throwing them into a dangerous prison didn't work out as well as I thought it would.
Tapped Out Lou Icon.png We should get those kids out of jail before anything terrible happens.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png You're right. Like missing their social studies unit at school.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png I hear that it's about the Pueblo Indians and they deserve all the attention they can get.
Tapped Out Lou Icon.png I don't know if they're so great.
Tapped Out Lou Icon.png They lived in the same kind of adobe huts for hundreds of years while people in Europe were building castles.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png They were happy, Lou! Isn't that more important than having a tile roof? Geez!
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Now get those kids in reform school and make sure they learn about the Pueblo!
Task: "Make Lou Teach Reform School". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Bart Attend Reform School". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Milhouse Attend Reform School". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10