After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
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All right, boys, Quimby texted me to say good work, but that we still have a lower arrest rate than Detroit..
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And they don't even have police there anymore.
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But Chief, who do we arrest? We've already nailed the people who've actually committed crimes.
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I heard the word "actually" in there, Lou. Let's change that.
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Task: "Make Criminals Serve Time" (x20). The jobs take place at Springfield Penitentiary and take 24 hours.
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After sending Homer
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I thought Free-to-Play meant I could just take the phone from the myPhone store.
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After sending Apu
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While I consider this arrest unjust, I will confess that a night in jail is preferable to taking care of eight small children.
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After sending Ned
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Just to be clear, roomie, you'd like me to point this soap that's been carved to looked like a gun at the guard when he brings dinner?
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And he knows that this is a joke? Well, I do love jokes!
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After sending Cletus
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An inside outhouse what's got a sink on top of it? Free orange clothes? This is the fanciest place I's ever been in!
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After sending Krusty
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I can't be in jail -- I'm a celebrity! What if no one recognizes me?!
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After sending Skinner
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Call the school and anyone will tell you that this must be a Bart Simpson prank
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So you can forget that strip search that you're about to... doooooooooooooooo!
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After sending Willie
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I had me choice of roommate between a Mexican gang killer and an Englishman who jaywalked. Jose and I are getting along just dandy.
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After sending Mr. Burns
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What ho, hoosegow-mates! Shall we all go take a gander at the strongmen in the outdoor gymnasium?
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Why are you pointing that dangerously sharp toothbrush at me?
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After sending Comic Book Guy
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This is infinitely worse than the Negative Zone Prison Alpha operated by S.H.I.E.L.D. I demand to see your Tony Stark!
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After sending Rev. Lovejoy
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Lord, I've been in your service for fifteen years. I've prayed to you every day.
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Would it be too much to ask you to listen to me just once and get me out of this friggin' stinkhole?!
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After sending Marge
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I know that I didn't come to a complete stop at that stop sign, but our car's transmission falls out when you do that.
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After sending Moe
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I get put in the slammer for an illegal U-turn? Well ain't that a laugh. You should see what I got in my basement!
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After sending Wiggum
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Hey! I was just cleaning out this cell and the door locked behind me.
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Hello? Funny mistake because we all know how cops get treated in prison. Oh God.
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After sending Luigi
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Thrown in jail like-a spaghetti on-a a wall. And-a my only crime is being a cultural stereotype-a!
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After sending Grampa
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Why? I didn't kill nobody or steal nothing or sell my pills to those bullies for a dollar a pop like I did in that dream.
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Wait, who took my pills and why do I have all these dollars?
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After sending Snake
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I was fine with prison overcrowding when it was hardcore criminals... but all these moms, dads, doctors, and teachers is cruel and unusual punishment!
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After sending Quimby
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Outside these walls I'm the mayor. Inside them, I, er, seem to be a ring girl for Mexican mafia yard fights.
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After sending Mrs. Krabappel
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Overcrowding, dangerous occupants, horrible food – I'll go anywhere as long as it's not back to that school.
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After sending Dr. Hibbert
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I'm telling you, it wasn't a drug deal! I gave Chester the money to fix my shed.
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After sending Barney
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I love jail. Prison wine is a better than Moe's beer and I don't get beat up after I pass out.
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After sending Smithers
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My name is C. Montgomery Burns. I'm one hundred and fifteen years old and I'm ready to serve my time.
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After sending Prof. Frink
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If you might permit me to access my Frink-O-Pod, I can travel back in time to prevent the crime from ever being committed.
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Plus that will allow the writer who agreed to write all these prison jokes to say no!
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After sending Hank Scorpio
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My dear officers, when I get out, I'll double your salaries to come work for me, and we'll take over the world!
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Are these potatoes peeled well enough, because I can have at them again if you'd like.
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After sending Hans Moleman
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I accidentally tunneled my way INTO jail?! Ohhhhhh.
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After sending Duffman
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Duffman is being approached by seven dudes with tattoos on their faces. Oh, no!
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After sending Otto
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That was not weed, man! It was oregano for my oregano brownies. Hey, you want a lid of Bob Marley Hawaiian Skunk oregano?
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After sending Dr. Nick
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Hi, everybody! Free plastic surgery in exchange for protecting me on the inside.
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I can make you look like George Clooney... although sometimes it comes out like Rosemary Clooney. But any Clooney is good, right?
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After sending Sideshow Mel
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I have started a Theatricum Prisonicum! But Snake was cast as Hamlet instead of me, so now I am boycotting the Theatricum Prisonicum!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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