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Crackdown

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Crackdown
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 33
Update: Level 33
Required characters: Wiggum, Brockman, Lou, Bart, Milhouse
Optional characters: See Pt. 2 and Pt. 3
Previous quest(s): Springfield Confidential Pt. 1
Next quest(s): Springfield Confidential Pt. 2

Crackdown is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 33 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Wiggum Don't you find that people are less likely to commit crimes around us because we're men?
Lou I think they're less likely to because we're cops.
Wiggum No really, I think I'm onto something here. Which is why I've decided that tonight, I'm going undercover as a woman!
Eddie Actually, you've been doing that a lot, Chief. I'd been meaning to talk to you about that...
Wiggum What? Does it not look good on me? My colorist said I'm a fall, but I think I'm more of an autumn.
Task: "Make Wiggum Go on a Stake Out". The job takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Wiggum All right, boys, Quimby texted me to say good work, but that we still have a lower arrest rate than Detroit..
Wiggum And they don't even have police there anymore.
Lou But Chief, who do we arrest? We've already nailed the people who've actually committed crimes.
Wiggum I heard the word "actually" in there, Lou. Let's change that.
Task: "Make Criminals Serve Time" (x20). The jobs take place at Springfield Penitentiary and take 24 hours.
After sending Homer
Homer I thought Free-to-Play meant I could just take the phone from the myPhone store.
After sending Apu
Apu While I consider this arrest unjust, I will confess that a night in jail is preferable to taking care of eight small children.
After sending Ned
Ned Just to be clear, roomie, you'd like me to point this soap that's been carved to looked like a gun at the guard when he brings dinner?
Ned And he knows that this is a joke? Well, I do love jokes!
After sending Cletus
Cletus An inside outhouse what's got a sink on top of it? Free orange clothes? This is the fanciest place I's ever been in!
After sending Krusty
Krusty I can't be in jail -- I'm a celebrity! What if no one recognizes me?!
After sending Skinner
Skinner Call the school and anyone will tell you that this must be a Bart Simpson prank
Skinner So you can forget that strip search that you're about to... doooooooooooooooo!
After sending Willie
Willie I had me choice of roommate between a Mexican gang killer and an Englishman who jaywalked. Jose and I are getting along just dandy.
After sending Mr. Burns
Mr. Burns What ho, hoosegow-mates! Shall we all go take a gander at the strongmen in the outdoor gymnasium?
Mr. Burns Why are you pointing that dangerously sharp toothbrush at me?
After sending Comic Book Guy
Comic Book Guy This is infinitely worse than the Negative Zone Prison Alpha operated by S.H.I.E.L.D. I demand to see your Tony Stark!
After sending Rev. Lovejoy
Rev. Lovejoy Lord, I've been in your service for fifteen years. I've prayed to you every day.
Rev. Lovejoy Would it be too much to ask you to listen to me just once and get me out of this friggin' stinkhole?!
After sending Marge
Marge I know that I didn't come to a complete stop at that stop sign, but our car's transmission falls out when you do that.
After sending Moe
Moe I get put in the slammer for an illegal U-turn? Well ain't that a laugh. You should see what I got in my basement!
After sending Wiggum
Wiggum Hey! I was just cleaning out this cell and the door locked behind me.
Wiggum Hello? Funny mistake because we all know how cops get treated in prison. Oh God.
After sending Luigi
Luigi Thrown in jail like-a spaghetti on-a a wall. And-a my only crime is being a cultural stereotype-a!
After sending Grampa
Grampa Why? I didn't kill nobody or steal nothing or sell my pills to those bullies for a dollar a pop like I did in that dream.
Grampa Wait, who took my pills and why do I have all these dollars?
After sending Snake
Snake I was fine with prison overcrowding when it was hardcore criminals... but all these moms, dads, doctors, and teachers is cruel and unusual punishment!
After sending Quimby
Quimby Outside these walls I'm the mayor. Inside them, I, er, seem to be a ring girl for Mexican mafia yard fights.
After sending Mrs. Krabappel
Mrs. Krabappel Overcrowding, dangerous occupants, horrible food – I'll go anywhere as long as it's not back to that school.
After sending Dr. Hibbert
Dr. Hibbert I'm telling you, it wasn't a drug deal! I gave Chester the money to fix my shed.
After sending Barney
Barney I love jail. Prison wine is a better than Moe's beer and I don't get beat up after I pass out.
After sending Smithers
Smithers My name is C. Montgomery Burns. I'm one hundred and fifteen years old and I'm ready to serve my time.
After sending Prof. Frink
Professor Frink If you might permit me to access my Frink-O-Pod, I can travel back in time to prevent the crime from ever being committed.
Professor Frink Plus that will allow the writer who agreed to write all these prison jokes to say no!
After sending Hank Scorpio
Hank Scorpio My dear officers, when I get out, I'll double your salaries to come work for me, and we'll take over the world!
Hank Scorpio Are these potatoes peeled well enough, because I can have at them again if you'd like.
After sending Hans Moleman
Hans Moleman I accidentally tunneled my way INTO jail?! Ohhhhhh.
After sending Duffman
Duffman Duffman is being approached by seven dudes with tattoos on their faces. Oh, no!
After sending Otto
Otto That was not weed, man! It was oregano for my oregano brownies. Hey, you want a lid of Bob Marley Hawaiian Skunk oregano?
After sending Dr. Nick
Dr. Nick Hi, everybody! Free plastic surgery in exchange for protecting me on the inside.
Dr. Nick I can make you look like George Clooney... although sometimes it comes out like Rosemary Clooney. But any Clooney is good, right?
After sending Sideshow Mel
Sideshow Mel I have started a Theatricum Prisonicum! But Snake was cast as Hamlet instead of me, so now I am boycotting the Theatricum Prisonicum!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Wiggum Great work, boys! We've made more arrests this week than in the entire history of the S.P.D.
Lou But, Chief, we haven't gone after the big fish, like Fat Tony.
Wiggum You know I'd like a big arrest, but have you ever talked to that guy? Very menacing-sounding.
Wiggum So instead we're going to round up this list of repeat offenders from the Springfield School system.
Task: "Make Youth Serve Time" (x6). The jobs take place at Springfield Penitentiary and take 24 hours.
After sending Milhouse
Milhouse I wasted my one phone call, but I had to vote on America's Top Runway Model!
After sending Bart
Bart Whoa, this is like Scared Straight... but without the tutoring and talks from mentors. I could get used to this!
After sending Martin
Martin Improbably, prisoners have women interested in marrying them. So now finally there is hope for me!
After sending Nelson
Nelson Prison? Wow, I kind of jumped right to the end of my life story. Oh well, at least I got to skip a lot of boring stuff.
After sending Lisa
Lisa I'm following in the footsteps of Nelson Mandela and Benazir Bhutto. I wonder if they missed their Malibu Stacy dolls too?
After sending Ralph
Ralph This camp smells hurty.
After sending Kearney
Kearney I keep telling you people, I'm not a kid! I HAVE a kid. Take him instead!
After sending Squeaky Voiced Teen
Squeaky Voiced Teen Can I put this on my resume as an internship?
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Brockman's exclamation mark
Brockman This is Kent Brockman reporting.
Brockman Abuse of police power has reached epidemic proportions.
Brockman It seems that no one is safe from their persecution, not even our clergymen, our upstanding citizens, our children...
Wiggum Our newsmen.
Brockman Exactly! Wait, what?
Wiggum Just finishing your sentence. Which is funny, because we're going to get you started on a new kind of sentence right now!
Task: "Make Brockman Go in for Questioning". The job takes place at the Police Station and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Wiggum Okay, so maybe arresting a bunch of kids and throwing them into a dangerous prison didn't work out as well as I thought it would.
Lou We should get those kids out of jail before anything terrible happens.
Wiggum You're right. Like missing their social studies unit at school.
Wiggum I hear that it's about the Pueblo Indians and they deserve all the attention they can get.
Lou I don't know if they're so great.
Lou They lived in the same kind of adobe huts for hundreds of years while people in Europe were building castles.
Wiggum They were happy, Lou! Isn't that more important than having a tile roof? Geez!
Wiggum Now get those kids in reform school and make sure they learn about the Pueblo!
Task: "Make Lou Teach Reform School". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Bart Attend Reform School". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Milhouse Attend Reform School". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10