Highway to Well/Quotes
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- Marge: What's Well Plus Good?
- Shauna Chalmers: It's pronounced "Well and Good". Ugh, why is everyone talking to me?
- Desmond: Marge Simpson. There was never a test. Except there always was.
- Marge: There wasn't?
- Desmond: And you passed.
- Drederick Tatum: Oh, it's a shame there's no drug for hurt feelings. Oh, wait, there totally is.
- Homer: People are stressed out these days. Scurvy is back, there's, like, 60 wars going on. Whales are eating our precious ocean plastic. Maybe people want to smoke a doob for that.
- Homer: Honey, you're the most helpful person I've ever met. Now go sell the safe legal drugs our kids should never, ever use! Especially Bart!
- Moe Szyslak: Times have changed. The romance of alcohol is fading into the past. Stoners will never know the joy of sitting on the toilet and barfing into your own underwear. Or picking a fight with a guy twice your size because his leg touched your car.
- Duffman: Who are you supposed to be?
- Lenny Leonard: I'm the weird friend who never acknowledges you.
- Otto Mann: [chuckles] I was that guy for my old roommate Scott.
- Drederick Tatum: Marge, I was thinking that you would be the hostess of this launch party, acting as the de facto face of the Well and Good brand.
- Marge: Oh, my God. Why me?
- Drederick Tatum: Well, Marge, 'cause people trust you. Also, my face is the intellectual property of the artist who created this tattoo. So, you know, I'm out.
- Marge: When Homer realizes how much this is hurting me, I'm sure he'll understand.
- Homer: I don't understand. We're doing the same thing, except you dress like a doctor, and I dress like a cool toddler.
- Marge: Don't you get it? I'm a healer, and you're a dealer. You need to quit.
- Homer: I can quit whenever I want. I just don't want to.
- Marge: What happened to the quitter I married?
- Homer: I quit quitting!
- Homer: Excuse me, can any of these oils or goos help me with a knife wound? I have been stabbed, in the back!
- Marge: How did you get in? This is by invitation only.
- Homer: I said I was Kevin Smith's father. No one questioned me.
- Marge: Look, I don't have a problem with pot. I can start any time I want.
- Marge: I feel like I'm on an elevator that's going up and down at the same time. Something's wrong. You said this was about wellness, but I feel high.
- Desmond: Okay, okay, listen. What you need to understand is this: I'm high, too!
- Lauren: I'm Serenityed out of my gourd.
