Bart the Bad Guy/Quotes
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< Bart the Bad Guy
Revision as of 07:54, August 25, 2020 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{TabQ|nogags}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Frinkcoin|Screenless}} {{qf|Chinnos}} Now that I, Chinnos, finally wield the Doomsday app, I can restart this planet in flames, a...")
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- Chinnos: Now that I, Chinnos, finally wield the Doomsday app, I can restart this planet in flames, as a utopia.
- Magnesium Man: I don't know, Chinnos. You say "utopia", but what I'm hearing is "kill everyone". And I really don't want to find a new dry cleaner.
- Chinnos: Your funny-but-not-too-funny banter will not save you, Magnesium Man.
- Magnesium Man: Yeah, but it did distract you, didn't it, Dad Bod?
- Bart: So what'd the doctors say?
- Milhouse: I have a full-body sprain. Most of my muscles are wrapped around the wrong bones.
- Glen Tangier: Okay, mate, you can do this. It's hard, but those little buggers are counting on you. Do it for the buggers.
- Glen Tangier: Uh, easy now. Don't get too excited, Milhouse.
- Bart: Oh, I'm not... I am Milhouse.
- Glen Tangier: That's right. Calm down, hero. Don't make whatever you have worse. Is it something that gets worse? Please don't say it gets worse.
- Bart: Yo, Fat Thor, I've seen Vindicators: Crystal War 2.
- Comic Book Guy: You blaspheme!
- Bart: My buddy Airshot showed it to me.
- Comic Book Guy: Ha. I repeat, ha. As if Glen Tangier, the Tasmanian Adonis, would deign to interact with someone of your insignificance.
- Comic Book Guy: The knowledge you offer would spoil the movie event of the year. Nay, century. Nay, epoch. Nay, summer. Tell me nothing. Ah, but my curiosity consumes me.
- Bart: All right, here's the deal, the movie starts on the logo...
- Comic Book Guy: Silence! Speak! Speak not. Expound! I pass the test. I will diminish and remain Comic Book Guy.
- Homer: Hey, how'd you get all this stuff?
- Bart: 'Cause people do whatever I say or I spoil the Vindicators movie for them. Like so: tell Mom it's okay for me to have soda on my cereal.
- Homer: I don't know. Mom's not gonna go for that.
- Bart: Okay. Get ready to hear the surprise ending.
- Homer: Let me guess. The good guys win.
- Bart: Who told you?
- Glen Tangier: How much longer do I have to keep up this kookaburra charade?
- Bart: How badly do you not want your bosses at Marble Studios to know that I used your drunken thumb to see that movie?
- Glen Tangier: You think I'm your jolly swagman, do you? Well, my jumbuck's gonna be free from your tucker bag next Thursday, when that movie goes wide on every screen in creation. And after that, you're nothing.
- Hydrangea: What you consider to be movies make up our reality.
- Bart: No way. Superheroes aren't real. How dumb do you think I am?
- Bart: Whoa! Airshot! Dead? But in the movie he lives. Wh-what happened?
- Black Voodoo: You happened! You son of a swamp witch!
- Moby Man: You showed your Comic Book Guy a spoiler of Airshot using his breath to save himself.
- Hydrangea: The powers of evil in our dimension saw this and, so warned, taped Airshot's mouth shut. And killed him.
- Homer: Don't worry, Marge. No one's ever been hurt by a little gaslighting. Remember how you always say that? Remember?
- Movie executive 2: Oh, don't think of it as gaslighting. Think of it as an ultra-enhanced, immersive fan experience.
- Movie executive 1: Vindicators, colon, Crystal War, colon, Resurgence bombing at the box office would have devastating consequences. Failing theme parks, unsold Halloween costumes rotting on the docks, mass suicides by popcorn farmers; anything worse than a 55% hold on its second weekend, the global economy collapses like a house of cards.
- Magnesium Man: Remember, kid, no spoilers! Our universe depends on it!
- Hydrangea: And don't pirate movies. That hurts everyone.
- Marge: Oh, no. Our son is going to choose evil.
- Homer: Oh, no! Our son is so stupid he's going to fall for this!
- Marge: Our son's a good guy! A good guy.
- Homer: But he's still stupid. So stupid...
