Season 13
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Season 13
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Season Information
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The thirteenth season of The Simpsons started in July 6, 2001 and ended in May 22, 2002.
Episodes
{{Table|
! width="10%" style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Picture
! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|#
! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Title
! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Original airdate
! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Directed by
! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Written by
! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Prod. code
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|270 - 1
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Treehouse of Horror XII"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|July 6, 2001
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Jim Reardon
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Joel H. Cohen (Part 1), John Frink and Don Payne (Part 2), Carolyn Omine (Part 3)
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF19
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Treehouse of Horror XII is an anthology episode that features mini-stories. "Hex and the City" tells the story of how the Simpsons deal with a Gypsy's curse. In "House of Whacks," the Simpsons buy a computerized upgrade for their house, and the house develops an obsessive attraction to Marge. "Wiz Kids" is a Harry Potter parody about student wizards Bart and Lisa and an evil plot of the Dark Lord Montymort.
Guest starring: Pierce Brosnan as the Ultrahouse and himself and Matthew Perry as Ultrahouse voice option.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|271-2
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Parent Rap"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|July 11, 2001
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Mark Kirkland
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|George Meyer and Mike Scully
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF22
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Bart appears in court to pay for an embarrassing joy ride in the police chief's patrol car. But just before he is set free, a second, vindictive judge named Constance Harm assumes the case and sentences him to the worst kind of detention imaginable: being tethered to Homer around the clock.
Guest starring: Jane Kaczmarek as Judge Constance Harm and Jess Harnell as Charlton Heston.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|272-3
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Homer the Moe"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|August 18, 2001
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Jen Kamerman
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Dana Gould
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF20
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|When Moe visits his old bartending school to rediscover his passion for the business, Homer is charged with keeping tabs on Springfield's premiere watering hole. But when Moe decides to make his tavern over into something more hip and modern, a disgruntled Homer opens his own bar in the Simpson family garage.
Guest starring: R.E.M. as themselves.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|273-4
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|August 2, 2001
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Lance Kramer
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|John Swartzwelder
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF18
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Homer's new job as the author of fortune cookies assures Mr. Burns that love is on the horizon. Mr. Burns finds it in a woman named Gloria, whom he loves so much that he wants to marry. But as he proposes to Gloria, her ex shows up - which happens to be Snake, and he's just broken out of prison.
Guest starring: Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Gloria and George Takei as the waiter.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|274-5
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Blunder Years"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|September 9, 2001
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Steven Dean Moore
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Ian Maxtone-Graham
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF21
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|A restaurant hypnotist causes Homer to relive a traumatic childhood experience where, upon swimming in a quarry, he found a dead body. That dead body turned out to be Waylon Smithers, Jr.' father, Waylon Smithers, Sr., who had disappeared twenty-five years earlier under suspicious circumstances. Meanwhile, Marge fancies Chad Sexington, the man who appears on the packaging of Burly paper towels.
Guest starring: Paul Newman as himself, Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony and Judith Owen as herself.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|275-6
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"She of Little Faith"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|September 16, 2001
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Steven Dean Moore
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Bill Freiberger
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF02
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Desperate for money, the First Church of Springfield decides to rent out its wallspace to local advertisers. Horrified at the living commercial the church has become, Lisa withdraws herself from the church and converts to Buddhism.
Guest starring: Richard Gere as himself.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|276-7
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Brawl in the Family"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|January 6, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Matthew Nastuk
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Joel H. Cohen
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF01
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|When the Simpsons need police intervention to settle a quarrel that breaks out during a game of Monopoly, they are ordered to undergo family counseling sessions with a social worker to re-establish themselves as a functional family. Their newfound harmony is put to the test, however, when Homer's and Ned's "Vegas wives" (from "Viva Ned Flanders") turn up in Springfield.
Guest starring: Jane Kaczmarek as Judge Constance Harm and Delroy Lindo as Gabriel.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|277-8
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Sweets and Sour Marge"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|January 20, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Mark Kirkland
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Carolyn Omine
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF03
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|When Springfield is named the "World's Fattest Town", thanks to a diabolical scheme by the Motherloving Sugar Corp., Marge takes it upon herself to rid the entire town of the sweet stuff.
Guest starring: Ben Stiller as Garth Motherloving.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|278-9
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Jaws Wired Shut"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|January 27, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Nancy Kruse
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Matt Selman
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF05
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Homer breaks his jaw in an accident, requiring it to be wired shut for a month. His resulting inability to talk makes him a better listener, and he becomes closer to family and friends because of it. They all like the new Homer much better, but when the wires come off and Homer retains his new attitude, everyone begins to miss the old Homer's antics.
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|279-10
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Half-Decent Proposal"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|February 10, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Lauren MacMullan
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Tim Long
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF04
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Marge, with a little help from Patty, Selma, and Jack (Daniels), e-mails Artie Ziff, who offers $1,000,000 for a weekend ("no funny business") alone with her - money they could use for an operation to make Homer stop snoring.
Guest starring: Jon Lovitz as Artie Ziff.
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|280-11
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Bart Wants What It Wants"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|February 17, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Michael Polcino
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|John Frink and Don Payne
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF06
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Bart develops a crush on Rainier Wolfcastle's daughter Greta. After hastily deciding he's not ready for love, he dumps her, only to change his mind later. But by then Greta only has eyes for one - Milhouse - and a trip to the set of Ranier's latest movie in Canada isn't enough to win her back.
Guest starring: Reese Witherspoon as Greta and Wolfgang Puck as himself.
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|281-12
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Lastest Gun in the West"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|February 24, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Bob Anderson
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|John Swartzwelder
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF07
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Bart and Lisa meet a washed-up movie star of westerns from the 1950s and attempt to revive his career by getting him to appear on the Krusty the Klown Show. But years of alcohol abuse get in the way.
Guest starring: Dennis Weaver as Buck McCoy.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|282-13
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Old Man and the Key"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|March 10, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Lance Kramer
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Jon Vitti
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF09
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|In order to impress Zelda, a new female resident at the retirement castle, Grampa starts driving again. But Grampa runs into trouble with Homer whose car he continually abuses and he develops some enemies in the form of rival gang of retirees at the Kwik-E-Mart.
Guest starring: Olympia Dukakis as Zelda and Bill Saluga as Ray Jay Johnson.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|283-14
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Tales from the Public Domain"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|March 17, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Mike B. Anderson
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Andrew Kreisberg, Josh Lieb and Matt Warburton
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF08
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Homer gets a letter from the library telling him he has an overdue book, which he had checked out when Bart was born to have something to read to him. Lisa finds the book and suggests that he read to them from it now. Homer then reads three stories from the book.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|284-15
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Blame It on Lisa"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|March 31, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Steven Dean Moore
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Bob Bendetson
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF10
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|After the Simpson family receive a large phone bill, they discover Lisa has been sponsoring a Brazilian orphan - and when the child is reported missing, the Simpsons head to the country to find him.
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|285-16
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Weekend at Burnsie's"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|April 7, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Michael Marcantel
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Jon Vitti
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF11
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|After being attacked in the garden by an unruly group of crows, Homer goes to see Dr. Hibbert about the ongoing pain in his eyes. Dr. Hibbert suggests that Homer begin smoking marijuana for medicinal purposes.
Guest starring: Phish as themselves.
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|286-17
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Gump Roast"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|April 21, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Mark Kirkland
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Deb Lacusta and Dan Castellaneta
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF12
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|The Springfield Friars Club roasts Homer, with help from clips from past episodes..."but don't call it a clip show".
Guest starring: Ed Asner as himself, Alec Baldwin as himself, Kim Basinger as herself, Stephen Hawking as himself, Ron Howard as himself, Elton John as himself, Lucy Lawless as herself, Joe Namath as himself, 'N Sync as themselves, Elizabeth Taylor as herself and U2 as themselves (all via archive clips).
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|_promo.png)
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|287-18
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"I Am Furious (Yellow)"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|April 28, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Chuck Sheetz
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|John Swartzwelder
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF13
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Bart is inspired by one of the school's motivational speakers to become a cartoonist, in which he creates a popular comic and later internet series titled "Angry Dad", which is based on Homer's anger problems. Homer becomes the town's laughing stock, and decides to give up anger completely.
Guest starring: Stan Lee as himself.
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|288-19
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Sweetest Apu"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|May 5, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Matthew Nastuk
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|John Swartzwelder
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF14
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|Apu's unbearable life of work and eight kids drives him to have an affair with another woman, and when Manjula finds out, Apu will have to do everything it takes to win her back.
Guest starring: James Lipton as himself.
|-
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|289-20
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Little Girl in the Big Ten"
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|May 12, 2002
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Lauren MacMullan
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Jon Vitti
| style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|DABF15
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| style="text-align: center; background-color: white; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" colspan="7;"|In order to avoid a failing grade in gym, Lisa takes up gymnastics, which she uses to pose as a college student. Meanwhile, Bart is diagnosed with "Panda" virus and is forced to spend a week living in a plastic bubble.
Guest starring: Robert Pinsky as himself.
Season 13 episodes script covers
Seasons
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| Season 1 • Season 2 • Season 3 • Season 4 • Season 5 • Season 6 • Season 7 • Season 8 • Season 9 • Season 10 • Season 11 • Season 12 Season 13 • Season 14 • Season 15 • Season 16 • Season 17 • Season 18 • Season 19 • Season 20 • Season 21 • Season 22 • Season 23 • Season 24 Season 25 • Season 26 • Season 27 • Season 28 • Season 29 • Season 30 • Season 31 • Season 32 • Season 33 • Season 34 • Season 35 • Season 36* Upcoming episodes Special episodes |
