Difference between revisions of "Warrin' Priests: Part One/Quotes"

Revision as of 08:03, August 28, 2020

Old Jewish man: What time does Joan Rivers come on?

Agnes Skinner: She doesn't. This is a church, and it's not your church.

Old Jewish man: New Testament? Oy-yoi-yoi, when did this happen?

Reverend Lovejoy: Peace be with you.

Congregation: And also with you.

Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, you can do better than that.

Congregation: We can, but we don't want to.

Reverend Lovejoy: I can't hear you.

Congregation: You clearly can.

Homer: You're going the wrong way!

Bode Wright: No, I-I want to go this way. I love God.

Homer: If you love him so much, why don't you marry him?

Krusty the Clown: Uh, I'm here for the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. It's usually me, Lenny, Carl, Bumblebee Man, Kent Brockman. But don't tell anyone.

Reverend Lovejoy: Downstairs to the right.

Krusty: Also, Lunchlady Dora, King Toot, and a man I'll identify as Disco S.

Disco Stu: Disco S is quite a mess.

Reverend Lovejoy: "B" 15. "B" as in Balthazar.

Grampa: Did he say Galthazar?

Agnes: Gingo!

Gingo: Gingo take you to bathroom.

Agnes: I don't want to go.

Gingo: Hey, this no picnic for Gingo either.

Moe Szyslak: For the first time ever, I don't feel alone. Life is worth living. [to Louie] Hey, forget that hit I called on myself, huh?

Louie: Yeah, well, I said too late.

Moe: Can't you just charge me a stalking fee?

Louie: Okay, 40%. And you can only cancel on the app.

Ned Flanders: Three cheers for Reverend Lovejoy.

Homer: Stupid Flanders.

Congregation: [chanting] Stupid Flanders! Stupid Flanders!

Homer: I love church.

Bode Wright: There's a Chinese proverb about Heaven and Hell. They say Hell is a long table like this, full of food, but everybody's starving because they have these long chopsticks, like pool cues, and they can't bring the food to their mouths.

Homer: This is the worst Year of the Ox ever.

Bode Wright: But in the proverb, Heaven is the exact same table, same food, same long chopsticks, but everybody's happy and fat because they're feeding each other.

Helen Lovejoy: Did you know Bode has 22,000 YouTube subscribers? Our church could go viral.

Reverend Lovejoy: Ugh. Close window.

Helen: You just subscribed.

Reverend Lovejoy: What? No.

Helen: [chuckles] Now you gave him a thumbs-up.

Reverend Lovejoy: Stop telling me what I just did.

Helen: You just gave him an eggplant emoji.

Reverend Lovejoy: Well, at least that can't be misconstrued.

Homer: But Marge always told me communication is bad for a marriage.

Marge: I said it was good.

Homer: You said what was good?