Welcome to Moe's

"Welcome to Moe's"

Song Information Singers: Julie Kavner Hank Azaria Nancy Cartwright Yeardley Smith Characters: Marge Simpson Moe Szyslak Bart Simpson Lisa Simpson Length: Episode: 0:42 Album: 1:17 Writer(s): Lyrics: Michael Price Music: Alf Clausen Album: The Simpsons: Testify Appearance(s): "Mommie Beerest"

"Welcome to Moe's" is a song sung by Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Moe when Marge was convincing Moe to change his bar into a British pub.

Lyrics

Episode version

Marge:

This place is a diamond,

But it's trapped in the rough.

Moe:

Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's",

So enough of your guff.

Marge:

Here's my new idea

To sell both beer and grub:

We will turn this filthy dive

Into a proper old-time British pub.

Moe:

A British bar?

Bart and Lisa:

[to the tune of "Rule Brittania"]

Darts and meat pies,

And lager in pint glasses.

What a classy way

To get drunk off your asses!

Moe:

Hey, hold the phone! An English pub! That just might work!

All:

In song!

Moe:

Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish,

So why don't we all--

Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.

Album version

Marge:

Maybe some cheerier paint would make this place less of a "dive."

Moe:

Marge, my customers don't like themselves. Therefore, they seek the darkness.

[the patrons moan]

Marge:

Well... as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.

Moe:

Look, I like Moe's the way it is, all right? And I ain't changin' it for any dame, skirt, Susie-Q, or face-macer.

Marge:

I had a feeling you'd say that. So I prepared something that might help you change your tune.

This place is a diamond,

But it's trapped in the rough.

Moe:

Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's",

So enough of your guff.

Marge:

Here's my new idea

To sell both beer and grub:

We will turn this filthy dive

Into a proper old-time British pub.

Moe:

A British bar?

Bart and Lisa:

[to the tune of "Rule Brittania"]

Darts and meat pies,

And lager in pint glasses.

What a classy way

To get drunk off your asses!

Moe:

Hey, hold the phone! An English pub! That just might work!

All:

In song!

Moe:

Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish,

So why don't we all--

Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.

Behind the Laughter

It is the twenty-fifth track on the album The Simpsons: Testify. Part of the song is set to the tune of "Rule, Britannia!" by Thomas Arne.

Appearances

• Episode – "Mommie Beerest"
• Album – The Simpsons: Testify

The Simpsons: Testify
The Simpsons Theme • Testify • The Very Reason That I Live • He's the Man • Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl • "The Simpsons" End Credits Theme • Ode to Branson • Sold Separately • Island of Sirens • They'll Never Stop the Simpsons • You're a Bunch of Stuff • What Do I Think of the Pie • Baby Stink Breath • Tastes Like Liberty • Jellyfish • Homer & Marge • Everybody Hates Ned Flanders (Medley) (Christmas in December • Flanders Is His Name • Everybody Hates Ned Flanders • Everybody Hates Ned Flanders (William Shatner's version) • El Hombre Estupido) • I Love to Walk • Marjorie • The President Wore Pearls (Medley) (A Vote for a Winner • I Am Their Queen • Skinner's Evil Plan • A Tango Takes Two • Smart Girl Six Three • The President Wore Pearls End Credits Medley) • Glove Slap • O Pruny Night • America (I Love This Country) • America Rules • Welcome to Moe's • We Are the Jockeys • Song of Shelbyville • A Star Is Torn (Medley) (I'm Talkin' Springfield • My Kitty Died • Always My Dad • Privileged Boy) • Who Wants a Haircut? • My Fair Laddy (Medley) Adequate • Not On My Clothes • Blue Pants Mornin' • Indoors All Night • Longing for the Shack • My Fair Laddy End Credits Medley) • Springfield Blows • "King of Cats" Itchy & Scratchy Medley (Tune-Up • King of Cats Opening • Two Days, Two Circles • Slices of Life • It's Symbiotic • Knives Finale) • Lady • You Make Me Laugh • Lady Riff • Papa, Can You Hear Me? • Yokel Chords (Medley) (Oh, How Do We? • Motivate Them • Cultural Things Experience • Moonshine Drinkers) • Hullaba Lula • Song of the Wild Beasts • Dancing Workers Song • Oldies and Nudies