Difference between revisions of "Sorry Not Sorry/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 08:42, December 8, 2020

Homer: Aw, sweetie, are you still mad about that big dumb jerk at school?

Lisa: She's my teacher. And her name is Miss Hoover.

Homer: Marge, no one dreams of waking up to the sounds of frying melon.

Bart: Yeah, Marge.

Homer: See? Your fruit breakfast has turned him into a first name user.

Homer: They say the best days of a gravy boat owner's life are the day you get it and the day you get rid of it.

Lisa: Is Miss Hoover out sick?

Miss Hoover: No, I'm in sick. I sprained a disc in my back. It feels like I'm passing a kidney stone while giving birth.

Ralph Wiggum: I say "excuse me" when I give burps.

Miss Hoover: Not the same, Ralph.

Miss Hoover: That's enough. Ralph, you're up.

Ralph: My hero is my thumb. It has its own room in my mittens. Thank you.

Lisa: A B-minus? No, no. This can't be right. This can't be right. The same grade as Ralph?! Sorry, Ralph, no offense.

Ralph: There's "a fence" around my bed so I don't steal things from Daddy's squad car again. [pulls out a police radio]

Lou: [over the radio] Chief, did you tell Snake he could have jail outside today? 'Cause that's what he's saying.

Chief Wiggum: [over the radio] Leave me alone.

Lisa: I come here every day eager to learn and you just put me down and complain about your job. In the end, what are you? You're just somebody who works off a formula that leaves no room for passion, individual effort, or the process of learning itself.

Miss Hoover: Mm.

Lisa: In other words, you're an uninspiring hack!

Miss Hoover: Apologize immediately.

Lisa: No. I told the truth.

Miss Hoover: The truth has no place in this classroom. Lisa, go to detention.

Bart: Leave her alone, you jackals. This is the largest stink bomb they make. So powerful it could only be developed by a scientist without a nose.

Kearney Zzyzwicz: How did he know it worked?

Bart: He smelled it... with his ears.

Miss Hoover: Okay, Lisa, your future is in my hands.

Lisa: I'm-I'm... not sorry! I'm just glad I won't have you next year as a teacher.

Miss Hoover: I might just move to third grade to torment you.

Lisa: That would be a real hack move.

Lisa: Miss Hoover takes the bus. I didn't know that.

Shauna Chalmers: Actually, she takes two buses. Then she walks half a mile down a train track, swings across a drainage ditch and rides a piece of cardboard down a hill to help her back.

Lisa: Oh, that's terrible.

Shauna: I guess. You learn a lot of sad things when you sell weed to teachers.

Barney Gumble: Excuse me, are you Jennifer Aniston?

Lisa: No.

Barney: That's exactly what Jennifer Aniston would say.

Moe Szyslak: If you have a disagreement with another driver, you simply say, "I'm sorry. Please go ahead." Then you follow 'em home and you pee in their gas tank. You pee in there!

Raphael: All right, how about school supplies? I got a Scottish guy who sells 'em to me every week.

Lisa: Hi, Willie.

Groundskeeper Willie: Uh, uh, yo no hablo English. Ach, the English. How I hate those wankers.

Bart: I'm soggy.

Homer: Listen, boy. I'm on to you. I know you're saying "soggy," not "sorry." Mm.

Bart: You're right, you're right. I completely apolo-cheese.

Homer: What?

Bart: I beg your par-ton.

Homer: Come again?

Bart: Guilty as Marged.

Homer: I'll accept that.