Difference between revisions of "Treehouse of Horror XXIV/Quotes"

Revision as of 16:30, May 2, 2014

Oh The Places You’ll D’oh

Marge: Now, I'm off to a party, my outfit is chic. It's a Catwoman costume, I'm sure is unique.

Comic Book Guy: Wait a second... It's Halloween?

Marge: Just rest on the sofa, I'll be home by 10:00.

Bart: Can we have some candy.

Marge: Just one M&M.

Abe: You should not be here when their mother's away!

Homer: And you should be dead, you're so wrinkled and gray!

Abe: I'll give you the business, you yellow sea cow! This go-getting oldster will... Where am I now?

Borax: I am the Borax. I speak for the woods. But I've plastered my likeness on consumer goods.

Homer: Sellout!

"'Mr.Burns:"' Let this be a lesson to those who love cash; your nice stash of cash could be gone in a flash, if you are awful and nasty and cruel-

"'Homer:"' Enough with the lessons, this isn't a school.

"'Moe"': I ain't got no candy, I only serve beer. And who said that you could bring minors in here?

"'Homer"':Your peanuts are paw through, your beer smells like skunk, and you just pissed off the wrong fat furry drunk!

"'Moe"':Hey, hey hey! This is supposed to be a children's story!

"'Homer"':Now grab all his money and vodka and gin, and I'll knit a nice nord from his leathery skin.

"'Lisa"': We thought we escaped from our psychotic guide, but when we got home he was waiting inside!

"'Homer"':I'm staying forever and your stuck with that, 'cause I'm your new daddy, so fatten the ca-oooh

"'Homer"':I'm frightened of nothing, not even hell's fires. Just don't let me ever be played by Mike Myers!

Dead and Shoulders

Milhouse: Bart, isn't it dangerous to fly your kite by the airport?

Bart: Hey, if they get on an airbus, they know they're taking their chances.

Bart: I'm alive! All patched up! End of story.

Lisa: Actually, there's a little more.

Bart: Ay, caramba!

Homer: Hey, boy, since you don't need a bedroom anymore, I finally get my man cave.

Ralph: That was gonna be my show-and-tell!

Therapy teacher: I think we've made some progress here.

Homer: Great... Oh, and I have this "two heads for one" coupon.

Therapy teacher: Well, that's for lettuce.

Homer: How about this one? "One random disorder free with every schizophrenia."

Therapy teacher: That's mine, but it's expired.

Homer: D'oh!

Bart: Now I'll just cut off her annoying head and this body will be all mine. Or we both die. Not really sure what the rules are.

Lisa: Why, Bart? I thought we were friends.

Bart: A brother can never be friends with his sister.

Lisa: Are you really, really sure?

Bart: I'm afraid I am.

Lisa: I feel your pain, brother.

Krusty: Now, I need you to memorize these 10,000 setups by next week.

Lisa: Help me, Doctor.

Dr. Nick: So this is what successful post-op looks like.

Freaks no Geeks

Moe: Hey, torso!

Barney: Huh?

Moe: What's with the cookies? Even the human snail would've been done by now.

Comic Book Guy: I am so sick and tired of people assuming that the human snail is, in some way, slow. Good day!

Marge: Mr. Burnsum! You should treat these poor people with respect!

Homer: Marge! Get away from those freaks. You belong to me! The dumb, hairless brute.

Moe: Excuse me, ma'am, but, uh, I ain't never seen a normal stand up for us.

Marge: (sighs) I, too, am a freak. One eye is blue, and the other a pale brown.

Homer: And that, kids, is how I met your mother.