Luca$/Quotes
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- Homer: But I did learn something from all this: The sprinklers in this park come on at 3:00 a.m.
- Lisa: Hi, Dad.
- Bart: Homer.
- Homer: Hey, guys! Why are you ducked-down like that?
- Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
- Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.
- Homer: Don't worry, it's bottom, all right.
- Milhouse Van Houten: A fat kid with a dream? I can't compete with that.
- Lisa: What does a competitive eater eat?
- Lucas Bortner: All the glamour foods: Pizza, boiled eggs, chicken wings and the big enchilada, which is not enchiladas but hot dogs. 69 hot dogs is the current record. As the great Kobayashi says, [He show off his picture of Kobayashi was eating 2 hot dogs in his shirt] "Detekurutoki itaiyo."
- Lisa: What does that mean?
- Lucas: "That's gonna hurt coming out."
- Lisa: Is Kobayashi the number one, um, uh...
- Lucas: The correct term is "gurgitator."
- Lisa: I won't be using the correct term then.
- Lucas: Oh, hi. Is-is Lisa home?
- Marge: Yes, she is. And who are you? [Lucas turn behind his sweater as the camera zoom in, "Luca$" was written in his back sweater] Lucas.
- Lucas: [face front] It's pronounced "Luca-dollar." That's my competition name. I'm a competitive eater.
- Homer: [off-screen] Competitive eater? Did I hear right? I could be a competitive eater?
- Marge: No! You didn't hear anything!
- Homer: Yes, I did! I heard "competitive eater"!
- Marge: It's for people who haven't had heart problems.
- Homer: Then that makes me the Jackie Robinson of the sport, and you are the racist Philadelphia manager!
- Marge: Quit comparing me to Ben Chapman.
- Homer: I will when you open your mind to change!
- [Marge groans angrily as Homer walk away from her]
- Selma Bouvier: Hmm. Never saw the pork eat the beans before.
- Marge: Actually, I'm a little surprised Lisa likes him.
- Selma: Really! Justin Blobber over there doesn't remind you of anyone?
- Patty Bouvier: Women marry their fathers, Marge. So you just might be meeting your future "ton-in-law."
- Homer: I'm sleeping on Flanders' couch tonight. Ours is crap.
