White Christmas Blues/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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538
"White Christmas Blues"
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- Bart: Ah geez, when did everything turn to crap?
- Marge: Bart, don't use language like that! [thinking] Man, things sure have turned to crap.
- Professor Frink: So you see, the "snow" is a micro-climate aberration caused by radioactive steam from the nuclear plant and of course tire fire particulate. So, we're the only place in America with snow, if you can call it that. I guess you can.
- Professor Frink: Do you have "Life of Pi?"
- Apu: No, but I have home movies of me on a canoe with a big dog. People who've never seen a movie say it is a good movie.
- Midwestern dad: Excuse me, ma'am? I'm so sorry to bother you, but my kids are exhausted and the town is sold out. Is there any chance you'd have a spare room for us?
- Marge: Well, there's a rec room off the kitchen, but sometimes it's there and sometimes it isn't. Our house is very odd that way.
- Homer: Oh good. Marge remarried after I died. Wait a minute, I'm not dead. What's goin' on?
- Marge: These are our new boarders!
- Homer: Uh-uh! No way! I'm not sharing my bed with anybody except you! And maybe that guy. Lincoln-style. But that's it.
- Homer: Well, this crazy scheme is the kind of impulsive behavior I want to encourage in you. I'm in. A hundred percent!
- Marge: Oh, thank you. Now Homie, table three needs more bread.
- Homer: I'm on a break.
- Lisa: But I'm going to give gifts that aren't expensive and come from the heart.
- Milhouse Van Houten: I don't know. Christmas didn't get to be the number one holiday by being about love.
- Lisa: Um, when a woman talks, she just wants to be heard.
- Midwestern dad: Hey, Marge, we're running out of chestnuts over here!
- Marge: Well, they don't grow on trees.
- Midwestern dad: Uh, yeah, they do!
- King Winter: By the time Princess Summer comes to save you, you'll all be blood in my beard. [evil laugh] Your own father's beard! [bigger evil laugh]
- Marge: Enough! Stop! Christmas carols only have one verse! Well they may have more, but the second verse is where they get all weird and religiousy.
- Marge: For your information, Gloria, my "wassail" is just Gatorade I put in the microwave!
- Boarders: [stunned gasps]
- Midwestern dad: I drank that under the mistletoe!
- Marge: It's not mistletoe, just cherries and lettuce!
- Boarders: [stunned gasps]
- Midwestern dad: I thought when I ate it it wasn't poisonous.
- Female boarder: Marge, the brochure promised us a happy Christmas.
- Marge: My uncle died in your bed. Merry Christmas.
- Lisa: Bart, you were right.
- Bart: If you smell your farts in a dream, you die?
- Lisa: No, about Christmas.
