Treehouse of Horror XXIV/Quotes

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Season 25 Episode Quotes
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532
"Treehouse of Horror XXIV"
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Oh The Places You'll D'oh[edit]

Marge: Now, I'm off to a party, my outfit is chic. It's a Catwoman costume, I'm sure is unique.
Comic Book Guy: Wait a second... It's Halloween?
Marge: Just rest on the sofa, I'll be home by 10:00.
Bart: Can we have some candy?
Marge: Just one M&M.

Grampa: You should not be here when their mother's away!
Homer: And you should be dead, you're so wrinkled and gray!
Grampa: I'll give you the business, you yellow sea cow! This go-getting oldster will... Where am I now?

Bore-Ax: I am the Borax. I speak for the woods. But I've plastered my likeness on consumer goods.
Homer: Sellout!

Mr. Burns: Let this be a lesson to those who love cash; your nice stash of cash could be gone in a flash, if you are awful and nasty and cruel-
Homer: Enough with the lessons, this isn't a school.

Moe Szyslak: I ain't got no candy, I only serve beer. And who said that you could bring minors in here?
Homer: Your peanuts are paw through, your beer smells like skunk, and you just pissed off the wrong fat furry drunk!
Moe: Hey, hey hey! This is supposed to be a children's story!
Homer: Now grab all his money and vodka and gin, and I'll knit a nice nord from his leathery skin.

Lisa: We thought we escaped from our psychotic guide, but when we got home he was waiting inside!
Homer: I'm staying forever and your stuck with that, 'cause I'm your new daddy, so fatten the ca-oooh
Homer: I'm frightened of nothing, not even hell's fires. Just don't let me ever be played by Mike Myers!

Dead and Shoulders[edit]

Milhouse Van Houten: Bart, isn't it dangerous to fly your kite by the airport?
Bart: Hey, if they get on an airbus, they know they're taking their chances.

Bart: I'm alive! All patched up! End of story.
Lisa: Actually, there's a little more.
Bart: Ay, caramba!

Homer: Hey, boy, since you don't need a bedroom anymore, I finally get my man cave.

Ralph Wiggum: That was gonna be my show-and-tell!

Therapy teacher: I think we've made some progress here.
Homer: Great... Oh, and I have this "two heads for one" coupon.
Therapy teacher: Well, that's for lettuce.
Homer: How about this one? "One random disorder free with every schizophrenia."
Therapy teacher: That's mine, but it's expired.
Homer: D'oh!

Bart: Now I'll just cut off her annoying head and this body will be all mine. Or we both die. Not really sure what the rules are.

Lisa: Why, Bart? I thought we were friends.
Bart: A brother can never be friends with his sister.
Lisa: Are you really, really sure?
Bart: I'm afraid I am.

Lisa: I feel your pain, brother.
Krusty the Clown: Now, I need you to memorize these 10,000 setups by next week.
Lisa: Help me, Doctor.
Dr. Nick: So this is what successful post-op looks like.

Freaks no Geeks[edit]

Moe: Hey, torso!
Barney: Huh?
Moe: What's with the cookies? Even the human snail would've been done by now.
Comic Book Guy: I am so sick and tired of people assuming that the human snail is, in some way, slow. Good day!

Marge: Mr. Burnsum! You should treat these poor people with respect!
Homer: Marge! Get away from those freaks. You belong to me! The dumb, hairless brute.

Moe: Excuse me, ma'am, but, uh, I ain't never seen a normal stand up for us.
Marge: [sighs] I, too, am a freak. One eye is blue, and the other a pale brown.

Homer: And that, kids, is how I met your mother.
Season 25 Quotes
Homerland • Treehouse of Horror XXIV • Four Regrettings and a Funeral • YOLO • Labor Pains • The Kid Is All Right • Yellow Subterfuge • White Christmas Blues • Steal This Episode • Married to the Blob • Specs and the City • Diggs • The Man Who Grew Too Much • The Winter of His Content • The War of Art • You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee • Luca$ • Days of Future Future • What to Expect When Bart's Expecting • Brick Like Me • Pay Pal • The Yellow Badge of Cowardge