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- Shauna Chalmers: I need a price check on Gramma Shortcut's Store-bought Bundt Cake.
- [crowd gasps]
- Marge: Keep it! Let's go!
- Shauna: We've got some put-backs.
- Gil Gunderson: Roger dodger, boss.
- Shauna: Hey, don't turn old man on me.
- Gil: You know, I used to be the buyer for the whole chain—71 stores. You heard of the A&P? Well, we used to be the J&G. [singing] You like what you see at the J&G? They're used to be three, but we lost the "Z" and...
- Shauna: If I make out with you, will you shut up?
- Gil: Ah, give it a shot.
- [Shauna moans]
- Gil: You know, we used to give out gray stamps. Remember green stamps? Ours was gray.
- Booth Wilkes-John: Well, if you change your mind, please let us know. We could become "couples friends." Now, let me try some of Ned Flanders' No Alarm Chili.
- Ned Flanders: You'll only taste the spoon.
- Booth: Brilliant.
- Marge: It's okay. I mean, those people didn't even want us at that party in the first place. I think it's time we learn to live with being ostracized.
- Homer: Mmm...
- Marge: Don't you dare say "ostrich eyes"!
- Homer: So where are all the friends?
- Marge: I don't know. I invited everyone that Lisa's ever met.
- Homer: Who are you?
- Gus Huebner: Gus Huebner. I was on Lisa's coed soccer team two years ago.
- Homer: Well, Lisa's gonna be here in five minutes, and the only kid who showed up is Gus freakin' Huebner.
- Gus Huebner: Watch your mouth.
- Marge: [groans] Oh, no, you're right, Homer. Abort! Abort!
- Gus Huebner: Oh, no. I was the only chump who showed up at this train wreck. Well, I'm not leaving till I get a party.
- Marge: Fine, fine. Homer, give him a party.
- Coach Krupt: [singing] Swing your partner, swing her hard, Do-si-do while I bombard, Hey! Ha! Ho! Ha! Do-si-do while I bombard. Oh, thank God, the clock says 3:00, 'Cause I have to take a pee.
- [school bell rings]
- Coach Krupt: Finally.