Difference between revisions of "Manger Things/Quotes"

Revision as of 10:15, March 22, 2021

Marge: Okay. So, Homer and I were going to the office Christmas party.

Grampa: I had just lost my last adult tooth, which they say is worth thousands.

Marge: Grampa. This is my story.

Grampa: Fine.

Marge: Listen, before we go, I want to ask you a favor. Don't drink at the office party.

Homer: But then it just becomes a meeting.

Lenny Leonard: Marge. Marge, Marge, Marge, Marge. When will you ever settle down?

Homer: What the...?

Lenny: Hey, Marge, want to rub shoulders?

Homer: Cover yourself up and quit hitting on my wife.

Lenny: Oh, so now she's your wife.

Marge: So, if you're all partying, who's running the plant?

Lenny: We got a dog that barks when a light goes red.

Mr. Burns: On, Slasher! On, Gasher! On, Mangey and Nips 'Em! On, Stalker! On, Vicious! On, Rabid and Rips 'Em!

Raphael: Uh, aren't you gonna get out?

Homer: No, just drive me around in circles, please.

Raphael: Oh, sorry. You have to order an Uber Sad for that.

Homer: Isn't a church supposed to offer sanctuary?

Reverend Lovejoy: I'll tell you what. Quote one Bible verse, and I'll let you in.

Homer: Um... "There once was a man from Judaea who said to my wife, 'If I pay ya...'"

Rev. Lovejoy: And no.

Rev. Lovejoy: Well, there is one person that takes the homeless, lost dogs, even grocery bags carried off by the wind.

Ned Flanders: Look, Maude. God blessed us with another mouth to feed.

Maude Flanders: More like a sinkhole that likes french fries.

Ned: Maude, when I look in that man's face, I see Jesus.

Maude: When you look at everything, you see Jesus. I bet you're seeing Jesus right now.

Lisa: Where's Daddy?

Marge: Um, he-he won't be back for a while.

Lisa: It's okay. I love Bart. I love Bart. I love Bart. I love Bart.

Bart: And I love Lisa.

Bart and Lisa: I love you, I love you, I love you.

Ned: Homer, would you like to say grace?

Homer: I'd rather just eat.

Rod Flanders: No grace? Then I'm gonna let my hair grow natural.

Rod: What's a jackass?

Ned: It's a silly person, Roddy.

Rod: Daddy, you're a jackass.

Homer: Sheesh. The mouth on that kid.

Bart: God, I don't know if you could do this, but I want a different father.

Homer: I'm home.

Maude: Oh, the baby's coming. Oh, wh-where's your father?

Rod: He's delivering Christmas turkeys to the poor.

Maude: That selfish jerk.

Homer: Let's bring another angel into this world. Perfectly normal. Eight fingers and eight toes.

Maude: Give me my baby!

Homer: I guess it is mostly yours.