Difference between revisions of "We're on the Road to D'ohwhere/Quotes"
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| − | {{ | + | {{TabQ}} |
| − | | | + | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer's Paternity Coot|My Fair Laddy}} |
| − | + | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} '''''D'OHHHHHH!''''' ''[after hearing that Bart can only travel to [[Oregon]] via car]'' | |
| − | + | :''[D'oh echoes to Moe's.]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Carl]]}} Oh, dang, Homer ain't comin'. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Haw, haw! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Carl}} And Nelson saw something funny! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/dohwhere6.mp3 audio clip]'' | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Did you know that in [[Massachusetts]] it's legal for a guy to marry his son? | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Well [[Maggie]], I always knew it would someday boil down to just you and me; I'll look for work in the morning. | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|Pilot}} ''[over PA]'' Welcome to [[Atlanta]]. Please keep your seat belt on until we've come to a complete stop. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} No one tells Bart Simpson what to do! ''[unbuckles seat belt, which sets off an alarm]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Pilot}} ''[over PA]'' Thanks a lot, row 33 C! Now we have to fly back to [[Minneapolis]] and I'm very tired! | |
| − | + | :''[Everyone groans as the plane makes a U-turn and takes off again.]'' | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | {{ | + | {{qf|[[Smithers]]}} How much for this {{W|estrogen}}? |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} But that's a female replacement hormone. | |
| + | {{qf|Smithers}} Uh-huh, it's for a friend who's trapped in the body of another friend. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} I'll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, {{W|five o'clock shadow}} made of bacon bits and a bacon body. | ||
| + | {{qf|{{ap|Cora|waitress}}}} How about I just shove a pig down your throat? | ||
| + | :''[Homer looks excited.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|WCora}} I was kidding. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Fine, but the bacon man lives in a bacon house! | ||
| + | {{qf|Cora}} No he doesn't! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[Inside Homer's head.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Fun Homer}} Aw, Come on, Serious Homer, lemme out! We can get a monkey drunk and push him down the stairs! | ||
| + | {{qf|Serious Homer}} ''[whacks Fun Homer with his gun]'' I'll kill you, the way I killed Intellectual Homer! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Wow, the valve room. Now we can leave without touching a valve. What a story that will be! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Skinner]]}} To help show the seriousness of Bart's offense, Superintendent Chalmers will be joining by video link. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Chalmers]]}} And joining me by video link, State Comptroller Atkins. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[State Comptroller Atkins|Atkins]]}} Can we move this along? I'm attending an important conference here in [[Scottsdale]]. | ||
| + | {{qf|Chalmers}} You're in Scottsdale? I'm in Scottsdale! The {{W|Hilton Hotel|Hilton}}. Room 381. | ||
| + | {{qf|Atkins}} Get out! I'm in 502! Hey, do you guys have any ice buckets down there? | ||
| + | {{qf|Chalmers}} No, we've been using shower caps. ''[Skinner turns off the TV]'' Skinner! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[Homer and Bart laugh]'' You made that TV show really mad. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Carl}} But why you being so generous? You're usually so stingy and rat like. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Moe]]}} Yeah well you remember that time I tried to hang myself and the rope broke? Well, I sued the rope company and I got a huge settlement... and a new rope! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[Homer's car is just hanging over a cliff.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} If I help you, what are you gonna do to me? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Shower you with love, because this experience has taught me just how precious you are. ''[Bart pushes the car down]'' I'll kill you! I'll kill your whole family! ''[Bart moves the car up, threatening to send Homer over the cliff]'' Kidding, I'm kidding. We can do that; we have a special friendship. ''[car down]'' I'm gonna double kill you! Then I'm gonna bury you in a shallow grave! Then I'll dig you up and kill you again! That's the beauty of a shallow grave!! ''[car up]'' You sweet little angel, I'm ''[car down]'' gonna rip your head off and spit''[car up]'' down your adorable little neck, ''[car down]'' because I wanna smash your stupid head! ''[car up]'' I love you; we'll go on a fishing trip. ''[car down]'' But first, I'm gonna put you on a saw mill and punch your little face out! That's what I'm gonna do! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/dohwhere10.mp3 audio clip]'' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Jimbo]]}} Uh, I'm here for the, um... yard sale. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} But that was yesterday. | ||
| + | {{qf|Jimbo}} No, I mean the "yard sale". | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} What are you talking about? | ||
| + | {{qf|Jimbo}} Can I buy some pills? | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Well, maybe someone else can help you, because I'm not a drug grocer. ''[closes door, then hears knocking]'' Oh, I'm out of drugs! See how much money I've made! ''[sees Chief Wiggum at the door]'' ''[gasp]'' Chief Wiggum! Uh, are you still with the police department? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} Save it, Ma Peddle! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lou]]}} "Ma Peddle"? | ||
| + | {{qf|Wiggum}} It's a reference to {{W|Ma and Pa Kettle|Ma Kettle}}, the popular movie character from the 1940s. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lou}} If you have to explain it, it's not good, Chief. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Oh, my God! My Dad had a long talk with me about this, but you never believe it until you see it! The cafeteria loading dock! We're having pizza tomorrow. | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} I'm gonna have a light breakfast. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Ralph]]}} ''[after steam engulfs the band room]'' I have two kinds of wet in my pants. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[to the restaurant shef]'' Hey Stavros, there's a guy in your bathroom trying to dine and dash. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Stavros]]}} What?! No one dashy-dine on Stavros! | ||
| + | :''[Bart runs outside and past the bathroom window. Homer tries to climb out the window to chase him, but he gets stuck.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Why you little!... I'm stuck! Somebody's hitting my ass with a thing! | ||
| + | {{qf|Stavros}} This is frying pan! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Leave your ass, Homer. Leave your ass. | ||
| + | |||
| + | {{Season 17|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 10:09, November 29, 2021
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- Homer: D'OHHHHHH! [after hearing that Bart can only travel to Oregon via car]
- [D'oh echoes to Moe's.]
- Carl: Oh, dang, Homer ain't comin'.
- Nelson: Haw, haw!
- Carl: And Nelson saw something funny! audio clip
- Homer: Did you know that in Massachusetts it's legal for a guy to marry his son?
- Lisa: Well Maggie, I always knew it would someday boil down to just you and me; I'll look for work in the morning.
- Pilot: [over PA] Welcome to Atlanta. Please keep your seat belt on until we've come to a complete stop.
- Bart: No one tells Bart Simpson what to do! [unbuckles seat belt, which sets off an alarm]
- Pilot: [over PA] Thanks a lot, row 33 C! Now we have to fly back to Minneapolis and I'm very tired!
- [Everyone groans as the plane makes a U-turn and takes off again.]
- Smithers: How much for this estrogen?
- Marge: But that's a female replacement hormone.
- Smithers: Uh-huh, it's for a friend who's trapped in the body of another friend.
- Homer: I'll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, five o'clock shadow made of bacon bits and a bacon body.
- Cora: How about I just shove a pig down your throat?
- [Homer looks excited.]
- WCora: I was kidding.
- Homer: Fine, but the bacon man lives in a bacon house!
- Cora: No he doesn't!
- [Inside Homer's head.]
- Fun Homer: Aw, Come on, Serious Homer, lemme out! We can get a monkey drunk and push him down the stairs!
- Serious Homer: [whacks Fun Homer with his gun] I'll kill you, the way I killed Intellectual Homer!
- Milhouse: Wow, the valve room. Now we can leave without touching a valve. What a story that will be!
- Skinner: To help show the seriousness of Bart's offense, Superintendent Chalmers will be joining by video link.
- Chalmers: And joining me by video link, State Comptroller Atkins.
- Atkins: Can we move this along? I'm attending an important conference here in Scottsdale.
- Chalmers: You're in Scottsdale? I'm in Scottsdale! The Hilton. Room 381.
- Atkins: Get out! I'm in 502! Hey, do you guys have any ice buckets down there?
- Chalmers: No, we've been using shower caps. [Skinner turns off the TV] Skinner!
- Homer: [Homer and Bart laugh] You made that TV show really mad.
- Carl: But why you being so generous? You're usually so stingy and rat like.
- Moe: Yeah well you remember that time I tried to hang myself and the rope broke? Well, I sued the rope company and I got a huge settlement... and a new rope!
- [Homer's car is just hanging over a cliff.]
- Bart: If I help you, what are you gonna do to me?
- Homer: Shower you with love, because this experience has taught me just how precious you are. [Bart pushes the car down] I'll kill you! I'll kill your whole family! [Bart moves the car up, threatening to send Homer over the cliff] Kidding, I'm kidding. We can do that; we have a special friendship. [car down] I'm gonna double kill you! Then I'm gonna bury you in a shallow grave! Then I'll dig you up and kill you again! That's the beauty of a shallow grave!! [car up] You sweet little angel, I'm [car down] gonna rip your head off and spit[car up] down your adorable little neck, [car down] because I wanna smash your stupid head! [car up] I love you; we'll go on a fishing trip. [car down] But first, I'm gonna put you on a saw mill and punch your little face out! That's what I'm gonna do! audio clip
- Jimbo: Uh, I'm here for the, um... yard sale.
- Marge: But that was yesterday.
- Jimbo: No, I mean the "yard sale".
- Marge: What are you talking about?
- Jimbo: Can I buy some pills?
- Marge: Well, maybe someone else can help you, because I'm not a drug grocer. [closes door, then hears knocking] Oh, I'm out of drugs! See how much money I've made! [sees Chief Wiggum at the door] [gasp] Chief Wiggum! Uh, are you still with the police department?
- Wiggum: Save it, Ma Peddle!
- Lou: "Ma Peddle"?
- Wiggum: It's a reference to Ma Kettle, the popular movie character from the 1940s.
- Lou: If you have to explain it, it's not good, Chief.
- Bart: Oh, my God! My Dad had a long talk with me about this, but you never believe it until you see it! The cafeteria loading dock! We're having pizza tomorrow.
- Milhouse: I'm gonna have a light breakfast.
- Ralph: [after steam engulfs the band room] I have two kinds of wet in my pants.
- Bart: [to the restaurant shef] Hey Stavros, there's a guy in your bathroom trying to dine and dash.
- Stavros: What?! No one dashy-dine on Stavros!
- [Bart runs outside and past the bathroom window. Homer tries to climb out the window to chase him, but he gets stuck.]
- Homer: Why you little!... I'm stuck! Somebody's hitting my ass with a thing!
- Stavros: This is frying pan!
- Homer: Leave your ass, Homer. Leave your ass.
