Bart Has Two Mommies/Quotes

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Season 17 Episode Quotes
← 369 "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story"
370
"Bart Has Two Mommies"
"Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife" 371 →


Bart: Why does God need our money?
Homer: He has to finish paying off the planets. Did you see that ring He gave Saturn?

Rod: Hurry, let's climb down.
Bart: [as he and Rod climb down the church steeple] Don't let our hands touch it's gay.
Rod: What does 'gay' mean?
Bart: Um, It means... you used to be afraid... but you're not anymore.
Rod: [shouting down at Flanders] I'm gay, Daddy! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!
Marge: [laughs nervously] I believe he's saying... he's okay.

Homer: What are you talking about? Monkeys don't have feelings. If they did, my experiments on them could be called cruel.

Homer: [sarcastic tone] Oh, you're so right! I guess I should be more concerned with Bart's safety than covering my own butt! And maybe I'm talking like this because I can't stop! Help me, Lisa, I have serious mental problems!

Ned: [gasp] A sliver from a band-aid wrapper! Call me Ned Zeppelin, but is one of my boys abraised and contused?!
Todd: I cut myself on the knife playing Christian Clue.
Rod: The secular humanist in the school house with misinformation!

Rod: [praying] And please thank Mrs. Simpson for giving as much fun as we had when Mommy was here."
Marge: Aw.
Todd: [praying] And please ask Mommy to come to Daddy in a dream so he knows how to cut our sandwiches.
Marge: Aw.
Rod: [praying] And please tell Mrs. Simpson it's rude to eavesdrop on our prayers.
Marge: [surprised] Oh.
Rod: [praying] But we forgive her.
Marge: Ooooo.
Season 17 Quotes
The Bonfire of the Manatees • The Girl Who Slept Too Little • Milhouse of Sand and Fog • Treehouse of Horror XVI • Marge's Son Poisoning • See Homer Run • The Last of the Red Hat Mamas • The Italian Bob • Simpsons Christmas Stories • Homer's Paternity Coot • We're on the Road to D'ohwhere • My Fair Laddy • The Seemingly Never-Ending Story • Bart Has Two Mommies • Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife • Million-Dollar Abie • Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore • The Wettest Stories Ever Told • Girls Just Want to Have Sums • Regarding Margie • The Monkey Suit • Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play