Difference between revisions of "I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 16:07, March 28, 2022

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: Hello, Springfield! Come to my "Back-To-School Parking Lot Blow-Out."

Marge: School's starting, Bart. Aren't you excited? This year you learn about local history!

Apu: We've got first-rate school supplies at third-world prices. At the Kwik-E-Mart where we believe in America! Please don't beat me up anymore.

Announcer: We start with authentic letter-graded meat, and process the hell out of it, till it's good enough for Krusty.

Krusty the Clown: Try my new Krusty Ribwich. Mm. I don't mind the taste!

Groundskeeper Willie: This year, he gets it in the back.

Principal Skinner: Willie, did you get the letter about your pay cut?

Willie: Aye. There'll be many a cut this year.

Skinner: Indeed there will. Budgetwise, of course.

Bart: Nelson, how was your summer?

Nelson Muntz: Sucked.

Bart: What'd you do?

Nelson: Space camp.

Martin Prince: At ease, Cadet Nelson. Good to be back on terra firma, eh?

Nelson: How 'bout I launch my foot into your butt?

Martin: I held your hair when you barfed in the simulator.

Nelson: Shut up! Commander.

Skinner: Welcome back, children. We've all had fascinating summers. I was the Maitre D' at the Springfield Country Club.

Jimbo Jones: My dad says you were a busboy!

Skinner: You mean your dad the raging alcoholic?

Skinner: Um, we'd better get down to business. As this is a non-leap year, we're already a day behind.

Bart: C'mon man, everyone knows the first day of school is a total wank.

Skinner: Well, if by "wank" you mean educational fun, then stand back, it's wanking time.

Skinner: Bart, your word is "imply."

Bart: I-M-P...

Nelson: Bart said "I am pee"! He's made of pee!

Bart: Well, I got my laugh. I'm outta here.

Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants.

Skinner: Well, we're down to our last two students. Milhouse, your word is "choke."

Milhouse Van Houten: Oh I know this one. It's so easy! F... Oh, man.

Skinner: And here's your prize for today: a scale model of the planet Mars.

Lisa: This is just a kickball with "Mars" written on it.

Skinner: Behold, the red planet.

Rib-It: Hey, hey the Ribwich is back!

Homer: [gasps] The Ribwich! The commercials have come to pass!

Rib-It: Try the new Ribwich. It's so good you'll croak!

Homer: You seem like an impartial observer. But I've been fooled by so many people in costumes.

Rib-It: Try the sauce—I'm soaked in it!

Homer: Ooh! I could lick you all day long.

Rib-It: And yet my children think I'm a failure.

Homer: Three Ribwiches please. And instead of a shake I'd like a blended Ribwich.

Squeaky-voiced teen: I'm sorry, sir, the Ribwich was for a limited time only.

Homer: Not again! First you took away my Philly Fudge Steak, and then my Bacon Balls, then my Whatcha-ma-chicken. You monster!

Cletus Spuckler: Hey lookie, it's that young'un what sorts them squiggles into words. Can you spell scabies?

Lisa: S-C-A-B-I-E-S.

Brandine Spuckler: [to the baby] Rubella, we got you a middle name.

George Plimpton: Welcome to the games of the 34th Spellympiad. I'm George Plimpton, founder of the Paris Review. I also played the evil dean in Boner Academy.

Homer: You monster! Why did you expel Boogerman?

George Plimpton: He replaced my tennis racket with a rubber phallus.

Homer: [laughs] That was awesome.

Homer: You don't understand. It's not just a sandwich. It's about brotherhood. It's about freedom. It's about three days since I've had one! I'm getting the shakes... and I'm getting the fries!

Lisa: [dreaming] Throw the bee and go to college. Throw the bee and go to college...

Barnard: We are the Seven Sisters, and you could attend any one of us. Like Barnard -- Columbia's girl next door.

Radcliffe: Come to Radcliffe and meet Harvard men!

Wellesley: Or come to Wellesley and marry them.

Mount Holyoke: [drunk] No, party with me.

Vassar: Or non-conform with me!

Smith: Play lacrosse with me.

Bryn Mawr: Or explore with me.

Lisa: No, I don't want to pay for college by throwing a spelling bee.

Seven Sisters: Give in, Lisa! Get a free ride!

George Plimpton: And a hotplate!

Krusty the Clown: Look, about the Ribwich. There aren't gonna be anymore—the animal we made 'em from is now extinct.

Homer: The pig?

Otto Mann: The cow?

Krusty: You're way off. Think smaller, think more legs.

Crowd: Eww!

Lisa: You mean you're all still proud of me?

Mayor Quimby: Lisa, with second place, you're the biggest winner this town has ever had. Before you, it was the woman who dated Charles Grodin.