Dude, Where's My Ranch?/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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309
"Dude, Where's My Ranch?"
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- Mr. Burns: Exquisite, just exquisite. Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds.
- Waylon Smithers: Should I call them off, sir?
- Mr. Burns: No, no. It's their Christmas too.
- Carl Carlson: David Byrne?!
- Moe Szyslak: Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...
- David Byrne: And, I used to wrestle under the name "El Diablo."
- Lenny Leonard: I thought that was Philip Glass.
- David Byrne: Yeah, he wishes.
- Marge: I am so sick of that song!
- Homer: Me too—I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.
- The Rich Texan: Welcome to the Lazy I Ranch, where we give you a week of rustic ranch living.
- Comic Book Guy: Do you have an internet connection?
- The Rich Texan: Internet? [laughing] Son, the only internet connection we got is a dedicated DSL port in the business center. Or you can patch in through the smart-fridge in your cabin.
- Lisa: [reading] "On this battleground in 1881, fifty-six Indians lost their lives and four brave Americans lost their hats."
- Homer: Those poor hats.
- Marge: That was a delicious meal, Cookie. What do we do with our garbage?
- Cookie: Just leave it for Cleanie.
- Cleanie: My preciousss... Gollum....
- Marge: Shucks, Lisa. You sure have taken a shine to that cowpoke.
- Lisa: Mom, why are you talking like that?
- Marge: Don't rightly know. I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy. I'll stop now.
- Homer: We did it! Finally, man has triumphed over a small, furry animal!
- Luke Stetson: Dang it, Clara should be here by now.
- Lisa: I'm sure she's just running late. Or, she's not coming because she doesn't understand how special you are.
- Luke Stetson: That sure don't sound like my sister.
- Lisa: Sister?! You mean she's not your girlfriend?
- Luke Stetson: Hell no! They outlawed that in this state two years ago.
- Clara Stetson: Hel-lo, handsome!
- Bart: What's up, Cootie Breath?
- Homer: Look at those stupid city slickers, with their fur coats and pointy hats.
- Marge: Homer, those are elk.
- Homer: I still hate them. Go back to Grosse Pointe!
