How I Spent My Strummer Vacation/Quotes
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"How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"
- Homer: So you're just gonna let me walk out of here sober.
- Moe Szyslak: I'm afraid so.
- Homer: And you can live with that.
- Moe: Yuh-huh.
- Carl Carlson: You wouldn't serve Homer just 'cause he didn't have money?
- Lenny Leonard: What happened to you, Moe? You used to be about the booze.
- Moe: [sighs] Yeah, I guess I got caught up in all the glitz and glamour.
- Homer: Good morning, everybody! What's for breakfast, cutie?
- Marge: Homie, it's five p.m. We're having dinner.
- Homer: What? Wait a... That can't be right! Wait, was last night the night we set the clocks ahead eight hours?
- Marge: I had to tell Mr. Burns you had violent diarrhea.
- Homer: Couldn't you come up with a less embarrassing lie?
- Marge: But you did have violent diarrhea. Nobody open the hallway closet until I say it's okay.
- Marge: We had a family meeting and decided that even though what you said about us was incredibly thoughtless and hurtful, you had a point.
- Homer: Damn straight.
- Marge: You work a job you don't like so I'm able to be home with the kids.
- Lisa: And you take me places you hate, like museums, plays, and the Olive Garden.
- Bart: And even though you knew I ratted you out to the IRS, you never busted me on it.
- Homer: You what?
- Keith Richards: Welcome to Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp, where you'll experience the complete rock 'n' roll lifestyle, without the lawsuits and STD's.
- Homer: Woo! STD's!
- Mick Jagger: So get a good night's sleep and remember Rule Number One: there are no rules!
- Crowd: [cheers]
- Mick Jagger: Rule Number Two: no outside food!
- Homer: Are you ready...to receive professional training in rock?!
- Chief Wiggum: Have you been awake all night?
- Homer: I am so excited I couldn't fall asleep! I even took some pills I found on the floor and still nothing!
- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: You took pills you found on the floor?
- Homer: Uh-huh. Now I'm afraid that if I stop talking, I'll die. Isn't Mick cool? I thought he'd be all like, "I'm a rock star. Aren't I great?" But he's just like you or me or Jesus over there.
- Elvis Costello: Come on, who'd like to be a bass player?
- Homer: Out of my way, Nerdlinger.
- Elvis Costello: My image!
- Brian Setzer: Now a guitar has many, many nicknames -- an axe, a gitbox... Well, I guess that's it.
- Homer: Mr. Seltzer?
- Brian Setzer: Setzer.
- Homer: No, I think it's Seltzer.
- Mick Jagger: Yeah, we've all gotta get home. My lawn's not gonna mow itself.
- Keith Richards: And I've gotta put up the storm windows. Winter's coming.
- Homer: [despondent sigh] I'm so despondent.
- Bart: Did you know it was going to turn into a riot, Dad?
- Homer: Oh, yeah... When you've been in as many as I have, you can sense them coming.
- Marge: Did they ever find Tom Petty's toe?
- Homer: What am I, the lost and found?
- Tom Petty: By the way, I don't suppose any of you have seen my, um...
- Lisa: No, sorry.