Difference between revisions of "Homer's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 07:28, November 28, 2023

Homer: Got to express my rage to the person who enraged me: my wife. [texting] Marge, I am so, so, so, so angry. Anger emoji, skull emoji, eggplant emoji, because I hate eggplant. Fire, fire, fire. Aah! A fire-fire-fire hydrant!

Homer: Well, at least I got shatter-proof glass. Oh, it's shattering!

Homer: I'm soaring through the air like an angel, or a beautiful loogie. How very majestic the world looks from up here. The sky, the ocean, Ralph.

Ralph Wiggum: Bart's bald mommy is going to die.

Homer: That's her problem. [laughs]

Goobie-Woo: It's me, Maggie's Happy Little Elf doll.

Homer: Oh, yeah. She calls you Goobie-Woo.

Goobie-Woo: Of course she does. That's my damn name.

Homer: Okay. Sheesh, Goobie-Woo.

Homer: I need a safe-deposit box. Want to know why?

Richard: Well, that's why I got into banking in the first place, for the thrilling stories.

Richard: Now, I'm not supposed to show you this, but lucky for you right now I'm super high.

Homer: Marge's dad left a will? He never told me about that in the four conversations we ever had.

Homer: Aw, work? That sounds like work.

Homer: I don't know which one I'm more upset about, that my wife has been keeping a secret mountain of cash from me, or that I'm about to die in a stupid, violent car wreck.

Goobie-Woo: Homer, you're spiraling.

Homer: Of course I'm spiraling. I'm literally flying through the air.

Bart: I was blowing off steam one day... ...and I saw that Mom was getting $100,000 a month!

Lisa: Then I explained to Bart how decimal points work.

Homer: So then tell me, why did she keep the money a secret?

Bart: I don't think you can handle it.

Homer: I can handle it.

Bart: Okay. The reason is... [imitating Marge] Your father is an ape-faced butt monster who eats booger sandwiches and also sucks. [laughs]

Homer: Why, you little unreliable narrator!

Clarence Bouvier: Oh, honey, this Simpson fellow will never provide for you. He has jackass written all over him.

Homer: Marge, do you have any turpentine? It's not coming off.

Marge: His friends did that after he fell asleep at a party.

Homer: Wait, how could I remember that talk between Marge and her dad if I wasn't around to see it?

Goobie-Woo: You can see stuff like that 'cause you're a ghost now. You dead.

Homer: Oh, my God, I'm in heaven now. It's so huge, so majestic. So red. Ooh, it's one of heaven's goaty-footed angels. And look at that giant fork. Probably for eating delicious, heavenly s'mores.

Mercer: You're so lucky to be meeting me today. Seriously, I am so jealous of you.

Raphael: Eh, you just had an epiphany, pally, which means you get to go back to your life. It's a dumb rule, but we need a two-thirds vote to change it. Which is also a dumb rule. What can I say? Hell ain't perfect.

Ralph: You died and went to hell. Ralph knows.