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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}} | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Duffman]]}} And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug—oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Duffman}} Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Titania]]}} Goat? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Duffman}} Eh, close enough! | |
| − | :''[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer]'' | + | :''[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Ahhh, you can really taste the goat. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Kids, would you like a balloon? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwipop, I want a wowwipop. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Moe]]}} Oh, boy! Move over liquor license. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in [[Rhode Island]], and it's signed by you. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} Am I really that ugly? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Carl]]}} Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} Oh my God! It's worse than I thought. | |
| − | :''[Moe, Lenny, [[Barney]] and Homer all start sobbing]'' | + | :''[Moe, Lenny, [[Barney]] and Homer all start sobbing.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Carl}} ''[to camera]'' See, this is why I don't talk much. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips... | |
| − | + | {{qf|Carl}} The little rat eyes... | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Caveman brow... | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lenny}} Don't forget that fish snout. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} Okay, I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lenny}} Or listen to. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Carl}} Or be with. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Helen Morehouse]]}} What were you thinking? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Director}} Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly". | |
| − | + | {{qf|Helen Morehouse}} I wanted Maryanne on ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Tad Winslow]]}} Cleo, Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Cleo]]}} But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Tad Winslow}} It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And [[Clive Dancer]]'s just waitin' for me to slip up. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Carl}} So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lenny}} Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[as an angel]'' You're going to die in a skydiving accident. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} How tragic. Tell me more. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} [[Gabriella St. Farge|Gabriella]]'s baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} Ooh, that's unexpected. What else? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Well, [[Sister Bernadette]] will leave the convent and start a softball team. With sexy results. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no... | |
{{Season 11|Q}} | {{Season 11|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 08:04, June 7, 2022
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- Duffman: And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug—oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak!
- Duffman: Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
- Titania: Goat?
- Duffman: Eh, close enough!
- [Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer.]
- Homer: Ahhh, you can really taste the goat.
- Marge: Kids, would you like a balloon?
- Bart: Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop.
- Lisa: Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwipop, I want a wowwipop.
- Homer: Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
- Moe: Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
- Lenny: Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in Rhode Island, and it's signed by you.
- Moe: Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium.
- Moe: Am I really that ugly?
- Carl: Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
- Moe: Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
- [Moe, Lenny, Barney and Homer all start sobbing.]
- Carl: [to camera] See, this is why I don't talk much.
- Moe: Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips...
- Carl: The little rat eyes...
- Homer: Caveman brow...
- Lenny: Don't forget that fish snout.
- Moe: Okay, I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at.
- Lenny: Or listen to.
- Carl: Or be with.
- Helen Morehouse: What were you thinking?
- Director: Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
- Helen Morehouse: I wanted Maryanne on Gilligan's Island ugly, not Cornelius on the Planet of the Apes ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
- Tad Winslow: Cleo, Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
- Cleo: But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
- Tad Winslow: It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And Clive Dancer's just waitin' for me to slip up.
- Carl: So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door?
- Lenny: Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade.
- Moe: And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
- Homer: [as an angel] You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
- Moe: How tragic. Tell me more.
- Homer: Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results.
- Moe: Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?
- Homer: Well, Sister Bernadette will leave the convent and start a softball team. With sexy results.
- Moe: Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no...
