Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo/Quotes
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"Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"
- Lisa: Hey! Look, there's a cyber-café opening here in Springfield. Will you take me, Dad, please? I'll show you how to order pizza over the Internet.
- Homer: The Internet? Is that thing still around?
- Bart: I know a website that shows monkeys doing it.
- Lisa: Bart, the Internet is more than a global pornography network; it's --
- [Lisa is cut off by the horn honking in the driveway. Homer and Bart are already in the car.]
- Homer: Come on, Lisa -- monkeys!
- [At the cyber-café, Homer net-surfs on two computers at once.]
- Lisa: Wow, Dad, you're surfing like a pro!
- Homer: Oh, yeah! I'm betting on Jai-alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called 'News Corp' --
- Lisa: Dad! That's FOX!
- Homer: [shrieks] Undo! Undo!
- Bart: I'm still checking Japanese TV. Hey, isn't it that cartoon that causes seizures? [suddenly starts having a seizure)'
- Marge: Bart, what are you doing- [suddenly has a seizure]
- Lisa: Hey, what the- [suddenly has a seizure as well]
- [The Simpsons eat at a USA-themed restaurant called Americatown. Each table is shaped like a state, and the Simpsons are seated at Massachusetts.]
- Homer: I can't believe they stuck us at Taxachusetts! Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket.
- Bart: And?
- Homer: Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.
- [A waiter approaches the Simpsons' table.]
- Waiter: Howdy, gangstas! I'm average American Joe Salaryman waiter.
- Bart: These prices suck! Ten thousand yen for coleslaw?
- Lisa: Don't you serve anything that's even remotely Japanese?
- Waiter: Don't ask me; I don't know anything! I'm product of American education system. I also build poor-quality cars and inferior-style electronics.
- Homer: [chuckling] Oh, they got our number!
- [After Homer and Bart are released from the prison, the family is takes a walk in a park.]
- Homer: Satori no himitsu oshieru no? (Should we tell them the secret of inner peace?)
- Bart: Dame yo! Are ha gaikokujin daro (No, they are foreign devils!)
- [After losing their money, the Simpsons work in a fish-processing plant to try to earn their fare home.]
- Marge: [cheerfully] Every truckload of fish we gut brings us thirty-one cents closer to those tickets home.
- Bart: And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do. [starts gutting fish] Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out.
- [Bart pulls a talking fish out of the pile.]
- Fish: Spare my life and I'll give you three wish... [knife goes in, guts come out] ... gaah!
- Bart: Knife goes in, guts come out.
- Bart: [turns on the TV and Homer appears in the screen] Mom, Lise check it out Dad's on TV. [Lisa and Marge watch]
- Homer: [unzips his pants and sits on the toilet] Oh yeah! [Marge, Bart, Lisa off screen screaming at what they see]