Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo/Quotes
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"Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo/Quotes"
- Lisa: "Hey! Look, there's a cyber-café opening here in Springfield. Will you take me, Dad, please? I'll show you how to order pizza over the Internet."
- Homer: "The Internet? Is that thing still around?"
- Bart: "I know a website that shows monkeys doing it."
- Lisa: "Bart, the Internet is more than a global pornography network; it's --"
- [Lisa is cut off by the horn honking in the driveway. Homer and Bart are already in the car.]
- Homer: "Come on, Lisa -- monkeys!"
- [At the cyber-café, Homer Net-surfs on two computers at once.]
- Lisa: "Wow, Dad, you're surfing like a pro!"
- Homer: "Oh, yeah! I'm betting on Jai-alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called 'News Corp' --"
- Lisa: "Dad! That's FOX!"
- Homer: [shrieks] "Undo! Undo!"
- Bart: I'm still checking Japanese TV. Hey, isn't it that cartoon that causes seizures? (Bart suddenly starts having a seizure)
- Marge: Bart, what are you doing-(Marge suddenly has a seizure)
- Lisa: Hey, what the-(Lisa then suddenly has a seizure as well)
- [The Simpsons eat at a USA-themed restaurant called "Americatown." Each table is shaped like a state, and the Simpsons are seated at Massachusetts.]
- Homer: "I can't believe they stuck us at Taxachusetts! Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket."
- Bart: "And?"
- Homer: "Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated."
- [A waiter approaches the Simpsons' table.]
- Waiter: "Howdy, gangstas! I'm average American Joe Salaryman waiter."
- Bart: "These prices suck! Ten thousand yen for coleslaw?"
- Lisa: "Don't you serve anything that's even remotely Japanese?"
- Waiter: "Don't ask me; I don't know anything! I'm product of American education system. I also build poor-quality cars and inferior-style electronics."
- Homer: [chuckling] "Oh, they got our number!"
- [After Homer and Bart are released from the prison, the family is takes a walk in a park.]
- Homer: Satori no himitsu oshieru no?
- (Should we tell them the secret of inner peace?)
- Bart: Dame yo! Are ha gaikokujin daro
- (No, they are foreign devils!)
- [After losing their money, the Simpsons work in a fish-processing plant to try to earn their fare home.]
- Marge: [cheerfully] "Every truckload of fish we gut brings us thirty-one cents closer to those tickets home."
- Bart: "And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do. [starts gutting fish] Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out."
- [Bart pulls a talking fish out of the pile.]
- Fish: "Spare my life and I'll give you three wish ... [knife goes in, guts come out] ... gaah!"
- Bart: "Knife goes in, guts come out."
- Bart: (turns on the TV and Homer appears in the screen) Mom, Lise check it out Dad's on TV. (Lisa and Marge watch)
- Homer:( Unzips his pants and sits on the toilet) Oh yeah! (Marge, Bart, Lisa off screen screaming at what they see)