Pretty Whittle Liar/Quotes
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- Marge: I'm hosting book club tonight, and I was thinking, maybe you'd like to go to Moe's until we're done.
- Homer: You want me to go to Moe's?
- Marge: I do.
- Homer: How drunk can I get? Stinking or falling down?
- Marge: Uh, how about "sociable"?
- Homer: What I'm hearing is wedding drunk.
- Marge: Wedding drunk, cash bar.
- Homer: Fine.
- Brandine Spuckler: May I speak mah piece?
- Helen Lovejoy: What's your problem, Daisy May? Couldn't make it through the audiobook? [laughs]
- Brandine: Well, ah thinks it's a classic of style that's more than a war story and more than a love story. With deceptively simple prose as lean and sturdy as a half-ton marlin. I-I mean... my eyes was bewitchefied with all them squiggels and squirms.
- Reverend Lovejoy: Did you hear about Brandine?
- Snake Jailbird: Well, it would be nice to hear something other than "Let me go, I have a family."
- Chief Wiggum: Well, I tried "you're under arrest," but you just laughed.
- Cletus Spuckler: You do not tell a man he don't know his wife. That's like telling a man his gun's not loaded. You let him find that out at the worst possible time.
- Cletus: Brandine, tell me true. Are you actually smart? Have all your yups just being yeses in disguise?
- Brandine: And I completed my self-education at the Springfield Athenaeum.
- Cletus: The what?
- Brandine: Athenaeum.
- Cletus: The what?
- Brandine: Museum.
- Cletus: The what?
- Brandine: Pica-ture palace.
- Cletus: Got it.
- Brandine: I've been rejected by a man who thinks it's funny to light his farts.
- Homer: You can light them?
- Marge: No, Homer, no!
- Cletus: Uh, you know, I'm pretty sure we's cousins.
- Brandine: Second? First?
- Cletus: Kissing.
- Brandine: Aww.
- Myles: We hide in the shadows. Which is scary, so we bring little flashlights.
- Database: Eh, just you, Myles.
- Cletus: Brandine didn't just lie to me. What she done is made a mockery of my forebearers who possibly did include four bears.
- Principal Skinner: Attention. I have some announcements regarding the cafeteria menu. Several items are misspelled. "Gren beans" should be green beans. "Tater tats" are tater tots. "Healthy" should be not healthy.
- Lisa: Never again will I hide my intelligence. I am smartacus.
- Toby: I am smartacus.
- Myles: Unsurprisingly, I also am smartacus.
- Milhouse Van Houten: I am smartacus. Well, sort of smartacus. Well, perfect attendacus. Sitting downacus.
- Homer: Okay, Marge. I admit it. You could do better, but I couldn't. Every day you give me something awesome to shoot for. Though I may occasionally fall short, because you are so great, I will never stop trying. I love you, Marge.
