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Meat Is Murder/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Krusty the Clown: You're the most modest businessmen I ever met.
- Augustus Redfield: [chuckles] Oh, gosh, no. I'm sure there's people much more modest than us.
- Krusty: Hey, hey. It's Krusty Burger's 50th anniversary, and I want you to celebrate with me at Krusty Fest. Meet all your favorite Krustyland characters from the good old days. Burger Reynolds. Grilly Cheese King. Jack Pickleson. Patty Meltin' John.
- Homer: [gasps] Patty Meltin' John. I remember when he sang at Princess Fries' funeral.
- Space Clown: Only one thing can save me now: every kid out there needs to buy a Mega-sized Krusty meal. Full price. Money is my oxygen.
- Marge: Lisa, I got you one with a patty that's 100% veggie.
- Lisa: Yeah, the burgers never had actual meat, but somehow the sodas do.
- Gus: I'm Augustus Redfield, chairman of the RedStar Corporation.
- Krusty: Yeah, yeah, hey, hey. Sarah, get this yutz a headshot and sign it from me "with warm regards."
- Gus: I'm here to destroy you for what you did to me.
- Krusty: Change that to "regular regards." Who the hell do you think you are?! [yelps] Hey, it's you. Worth-A-Try Burger, right? You doing good?
- Gus: I'm the ninth richest man in the world now.
- Krusty: [groans] Okay, warmest regards.
- Grampa: Old partner? [gasps] That's me.
- Homer: No, it's not, Dad. Nothing is you.
- Gus: Abe Simpson, it is you. It is. Oh... My old friend, I am about to change your life.
- Homer: Dad, it's not you!
- Gus: Abe, now that I've got our burger business back, I need you by my side. I want you to sit on my board of directors.
- Marge: Grampa, you love sitting.
- Homer: Wow, Dad, now you can be a Republican because you're rich and greedy, and not because you're old and don't know how to change the channel.
- Colby Redfield: Dad, I'm gonna start a religion where you're the Jesus. Think of the tax implications. Please, please, think of them.
- Mav Redfield: Dad, as we speak, there are 10,000 influencers at my island music festival.
- Sheila Redfield: Too bad the bands haven't shown up, and there's no food, toilets, or ways off the island.
- Mav: [scoffs] No biggie, nobody died. [looks at phone] Well, nobody famous died. Okay, I hope none of you like Kenny Chesney.
- Nothing Mel: It's the Herschel the Comical Man Show! I'm your announcer, Nothing Mel. And here's a performer who's not violating any termination agreement implied or in writing. Him.
- Krusty: Hee-hoo, kids. Say hi to Mr. Teeny-Dog, who's not affiliated with Krusty Enterprises, its designees, or assigns.
- Nelson Muntz: Haw-haw! You don't control your own I.P.
- Grampa: Lisa, I'm so glad you made me come here. Who knew having a purpose in life would give my life purpose?
- Angela Merkel: What do you do?
- Charli D'Amelio: Well, I entertain people on their phones while they watch TV. How about you?
- Angela Merkel: I am often the only voice of reason in all of Europe.
- Charli D'Amelio: Cool. How do you monetize that?
- Angela Merkel: I don't.
- Greg Hirsch: All right, so, uh, I mostly just get sandwiches for the security guards, but it's more complicated than it sounds. There's, like, five kinds of bread now.
- Gus: [to Sheila] You led this coup against me. You're out. You get nothing! [to Jessica] Tell Megan Ellison she's my daughter now.
- Jessica: She'll be there at your birthday dinner tomorrow night.
- Grampa: Hold your horseradish! When I voted "no," I was talking about the Japanese Noh theater, which I saw plenty of when I was stationed in the Pacific, stranded on a raft made of Dear John letters and mermaid hair. I married one of those mermaids, but she was a reverso, fish head and lady gams. [laughs] That, plus a thousand other things, made me what I am today... mentally incompetent. [babbles]
- Krusty: I can be a clown again. [laughs goofily]
- Nehorai: He was a clown? He was, like, the least funny person on this socialist commune.
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