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You Won't Believe What This Episode Is About – Act Three Will Shock You!/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"You Won't Believe What This Episode Is About – Act Three Will Shock You!"
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- Marge: Everybody, out, out, out, out, out! Me and the floors deserve to savor every minute of our special spa day. And take the dog. Now it's my time to make these stains "herstory."
- Lisa: Ugh, are you quoting their actual slogan?
- Marge: I'm quoting my wildest dreams.
- Lenny Leonard: Once it became clear that human companionship was a non-starter, I adopted this handsome little mister, Devin.
- Lenny: So, where'd you get your dog?
- Homer: Uh, I think he came with the house?
- Lisa: Okay, so far, the neighborhood rage is contained to just dog lovers. Oh, no. It's spread to the cat people. Oh, now it's the horse crazies.
- Marge: Those horse crazies don't mess around.
- Homer: I'm Homer Simpson, and I'm truly sorry.
- Everyone: Tsk, tsk, tsk!
- Homer: Sorry if you pee-pee babies were offended by something that was no big deal and everything's fine. So what's the issue?
- Bart: [to Lisa] Amazing job, you really got his voice down.
- Homer: I'm sorry that you don't have enough things to get mad at. I'm sorry that you all have skin thinner than gas station toilet paper. And I'm sorry that your lives are so boring that you take a man who left his rescue dog for two minutes to buy him organic ice cream from a woman-owned local business, and you crucify him!
- Mr. Burns: My fellow Springfielders, here at Burns Industries, we release the hounds on all forms of disrespect, and to tolerance we say, "excellent." As such, we have terminated association with Homer J. Simpson, as his actions do not represent the values of Evil Corps. Moving forward, we plan to sit back, tent our fingers, and listen.
- Homer: Oh, Lovejoy's fine. But I lost my job and now that trolls put my photos and phone number on the Internet, I also lost my anonon-nim-ninim-ninity.
- Homer: Oh, I've never been so viciously lampooned. I hate this horrible new world.
- Mrs. Vanderbilt: Well, I never.
- Homer: Why am I always meeting people who never?
- Homer: I'm so upset I might not ever be able to get my prawn on again.
- Theo: Yikes. That has got to be the saddest thing ever said in a chain seafood restaurant.
- Homer: Is this some kind of prank, like when those YouTubers chased me with real machetes?
- Theo: Wow. And no.
- Theo: I run an institute. We call it The Institute.
- Larry Doogan: I do... realize you only agreed to spend the rest of your life with me - because I'm short, and it's pissing-me-o!
- Kirk Van Houten: Come on, Coach Loser, don't you want to win? Take... my son... Out... of the game!
- Theo: Well, there is one other way. No, we can't.
- Homer: What?
- Theo: No, it's too radical. Ah, but it's the only thing that's 100% guaranteed to work.
- Homer: Hmm, yeah, it does sound pretty radical. Thanks for being honest about that.
- Theo: Well, sometimes the only way to get results is through radical action.
- Homer: Sorry, we took a vote. It's too radical.
- Theo: Wh... I didn't even tell you what it is yet.
- Homer: When you said "radical," you said enough. Bye forever.
- Theo: Look, I thought that by calling it radical, you'd be more likely to want to do it. Like you'd be intrigued or something.
- Homer: [intrigued] Intrigued, eh?
- Helen Lovejoy: Break in? That sounds dangerous.
- Theo: It is, Helen. That was the radical part I mentioned earlier, that didn't seem to land with any of you.
- Homer: [intrigued] Radical, eh?
- Theo: Insert the flash drive. Once the scrub code is fully uploaded, everything will be erased, and you will return to a life of anon-min-mity. Anon-min, Amoni-mity.
- Computer: It's "anonymity."
- Voiceover: In the annals of time, there have only been five truly great public apologies. But on that day, the words Lisa wrote, and Homer somehow read to everyone in the world, put those others to shame. It was deeply soul-searching and 100% effective. Homer was forgiven by all and beloved forever.
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