Bart the Cool Kid/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Ralph Wiggum: These are my first tie-shoes.
- Nelson Muntz: You're wearing the new Slipreme Caliphates? How did a chum-wad like you get a pair?
- Ralph: My daddy took my cat to the cat doctor, and when Daddy came home, my cat had turned into these shoes.
- Bart: So Ralph got weird sneakers... Who cares?
- Milhouse Van Houten: Uh, no one... except everyone.
- Lisa: This street is so cool. Art galleries, beard-only barbershops, and a weird store that only sells a single action figure. How do they survive?
- Bart: I love you, Dad. I finally love you.
- Homer: And bought love is the best kind of love.
- Homer: Hey! Mike Wegman! How's it clangin'? Where's your food truck?
- Mike Wegman: Somebody pushed it off a bridge, but don't worry, I had a good reason.
- Homer: What? They're fake? Oh, but I promised my son the real ones.
- Mike Wegman: Who, Bart, huh? That bed-wetting nobody? He won't be able to tell the difference. Kids today aren't like you and me. They're dumb because of phones or whatever.
- Homer: Hmm, and I do like getting away with things.
- Mike Wegman: That's winner talk there.
- Shauna Chalmers: What up, Shauna Nation? As always, I'm Shauna. Look at this idiot, trying to return a knock-off. Link in my bio to win free edible eyeshadow.
- Bart: They're not fake. My Dad waited in line for these shoes and spent a lot of money. And Homer Simpson would never lie to his son just to get out of standing in li... Oh, my God, he bought me fake shoes.
- Bart: Grab a board, show me what you got.
- Orion Hughes: Uh, I'd love to, of course. But the thing is, I have a deal with Slim Jim. I can't skate unless I'm holding a Dr. Pepper Salami Twister.
- Homer: I'm too depressed to figure out what you're saying.
- Bart: [slurring] Am I still slurring my's words?
- Orion: Uh, it's-it's barely noticeable.
- Orion: What if we design a new sneaker together?
- Bart: A sneaker that all my friends will buy?
- Orion: No, a sneaker that all your friends will want to buy, but can't, because we won't make enough of them.
- Moe Szyslak: Well, look at me... I'm a real Hep Cat. And not just because I got Hep C, A and T. Which, I-I do got those.
- Orion: You're buying that for yourself? But old people don't know about my clothes. Unless... Oh, no. They're here. The middle-aged. The uncool! This is a nightmare. My brand's been discovered by dads.
- Darius Hughes: Son, I've never seen your aura looking less indigo. Are you okay?
- Orion: Nothing-nothing's wrong. I'm crushing it. I got this on lock. On lock.
- Darius: Your words have convinced me.
- Homer: For the first time in your horrible lives, you are not the lamest losers in the world. So if any young person asks you what you do, say, "Virtual marketing for a CBD massage oil startup." Now everyone take two precautionary Advil and let's live forever!
- Orion: Dad, tonight was a close call. This party was almost not a cultural game changer. I hope you're not disappointed in me.
- Darius: Oh, you can never let me down, because I know exactly how you feel. Because you're me.
- Orion: No, Dad. I'm not you. And I'll never be you.
- Darius: You're not hearing what I'm saying. A clone of me. Like this. You were created on the set Duplicate Cop One, which we filmed in a real cloning lab. I knew I could never love a child as much as I love myself, so I made another me: you.
- Orion: But how... But I... But... What?
- Darius: Didn't you ever wonder why you don't have a mother?
- Orion: Kind of.
- Darius: Orion, our cosmic connection is infinitely deeper than what a "father" feels for a "son." I love you, me.
- Orion: I love you, too... me.
