Treehouse of Horror XXXII/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Treehouse of Horror XXXII"
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- Homer: [as a deer] Time for a little "stag party."
- Mr. Burns: [as a hunter] Thank God you're herbivores.
- Homer: [as a deer] That's right. And today your name is "Herb."
- Bart: Family, I have excellent news. I got a job as a tutor in a nice, rich home.
- Homer: How deep is the water in their living room?
- Bart: There's no water in their living room.
- Homer: That's a thing?
- Bart: Okay, here's a math problem. How long can the two of us watch your hundred-inch TV before anyone gets wise?
- Greta Wolfcastle: "Y" equals 102.
- Bart: What the hell are you talking about? I want to watch TV.
- Kirk Van Houten: Please let me in. My jeans are wet. And they're my only pair of pants.
- Lisa: Wait! If we all work together, regardless of class, we could finally change everything for the better.
- Moe Szyslak: Wow, that sounds great. Unless it's socialism.
- Lisa: Not totally, but certain aspects are similar to social...
- Krusty the Clown: Kill her!
- Mr. Burns: My last words are "I'm too young and beautiful to die. Take a baby instead."
- Homer: Well, Marge, I finally got you a house with no leaks.
- Marge: Yeah, but it's filled with dead bodies.
- Homer: Some people are never happy.
- Homer: Oh, Marge. I did a chore today.
- Marge: Which one?
- Homer: Unloaded the dishwasher. All... the... way.
- Homer: Lousy treehouse. Every year, three scary stories: two of them good, and a lame one in the middle. I'll put an end to that.
- Groot: [on screen] I am Groot.
- [the people watching laugh]
- Living treehouse: Hmm. You're real mature. Laughin' at a brain-damaged tree.
- Homer: All right, this is it. No tree is a match for a human with a wooden bat. First, we kill them, then we hang our hammocks!
- Vincent Price: In January, Bart was awful, put earthworms in his father's waffle. In February, the dead of winter, Bart catfished teacher, right on Tinder. In March, we saw the start of spring. Bart unscrewed the playground swing. April's known for paying taxes. For Bart, it's known for nude butt faxes. In May...
- Homer: Oh, how many months are there?!
- Vincent Price: [speeding up] In May we dance around a pole. Bart knocked it down with a car he stole. June is halfway through the year. Bart has a sip of his first beer. July is when the Bastille falls. Bart cuts heads off Lisa's dolls. August is always a scorcher. Bart perfects his turtle torture. September, Bart won't even mention. He spends the whole month in detention. October ends with Halloween. Bart eats candy till he's green. In November, Bart can carve the turkey. He'll be serving human jerky. Then, worst of all, in cold December... [choking sounds]
- Phonic Frog: R. I. P.
- Sherri and Terri: Lisa, we have something to tell you.
- Sherri: We had a party and didn't invite you.
- Terri: It was a week ago. We watched a cool TikTok.
- Bart: But, Grampa, if you do watch, you die in seven days.
- Grampa: That's three more than the doctor gave me.
- Grampa: Okay. First, there's an evil-looking ring. Then an empty chair. Then a lady combing her hair. I like the old movies where the combing was implied. Now there's a bunch of maggots. Satan head. More maggots. More maggots. No, wait, that's an ad for Chipotle. Now a woman's jumping off a cliff, and we end up with an abandoned well. This is the kind of movie you watch in a museum when your feet hurt. And my feet always hurt.
- Lisa: You know why I'm smiling? 'Cause I have a best friend!
- Mopey Mary: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Best friend? I've already suffocated. Give me a little space.
- Lisa: Okay, no problem. Hey, I wrote you a song on the saxophone. It's called "Well Bottom Blues."
- Mopey Mary: I'll tell you what. I'm just gonna walk right over here, okay? You sound great. I bet it sounds even better from the bottom of the well.
