Difference between revisions of "The War of Art/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Winter of His Content|You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Winter of His Content|You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee}} | ||
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| + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Kettle corn. The heroin of the farmers' market. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Oh, it looks great! | |
| − | :'' | + | :''[Homer walk to the living room and look at the new painting]''' |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Well, to me, it looks like garbage salad. But that's the great thing about art. Everyone can have their own opinion about why it sucks. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} But the Van Houtens are our friends. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Are they, Marge? If you think about it, aren't they really just the parents of a kid who happens to hang out with our kid? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} All our friends are like that. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} What if we give the Van Houtens 25% of the money? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Then they'll just be mad about the 65% that we're keeping. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Okay, Milhouse, the guys in back are shining up your new bike. | |
| + | {{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} And all I have to do is not say anything about some painting to my Mom and Dad? | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Oh, sweetie, you want your parents to be happy, don't you? | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} I guess. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} "I guess"! You're funny! No wonder Lisa's in love with you. | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} She is?! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} She is?! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Luann Van Houten]]}} We considered you our friends. We trusted you! I let Homer use our master bathroom! Then you stab us in the back! | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} See what happens when we get greedy?! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Honey, there's something I want to show you. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} An ATM receipt? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I don't know whose this is. I found it next to the cash machine, and I've always kept it. Look at the balance. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Five figures! | |
| − | :'''Homer:''' That's the | + | {{qf|Homer}} With that painting, we could have what these people have: A money cushion. No more living paycheck to paycheck, one lost retainer away from the gutter. |
| + | {{qf|Marge}} I could write a check with today's date on it. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} That's the cushion. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Great! Now we're raccoons, the masked bandits of the animal world! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Don't worry. No one's gonna see this stupid show. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} We don't even get this many Christmas cards. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Kirk Van Houten]]}} ''[looking at the picture of Luann on his MyPad, desperately]'' Oh, Luann, I'll never gaze from my thick eyeglasses into your thick eyeglasses ever again. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Okay, all I gotta do is take a quick ferry to Isla Verde, find Café Artiste, and they'll back up Kirk's story. That will prove the painting was his—and now ours. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Oh, Homer Simpson, that painting has torn the town apart, destroyed Kirk and Luann's marriage, and everyone's very worried about Milhouse. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} He's been playing Dancing Revolution for hours, but the TV is off. | ||
| + | :''[Milhouse is still playing the dancing game while the TV is off]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} But our cushion! | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} That picture has brought out the worst in everyone! Please! Just let it go! | ||
| + | :''[She walk away from Homer angrily, and Bart just walk into him]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} You're not gonna let it go, are you? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} I wish I knew how. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} This is so exciting! My first time establishing provenance! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just remember, if your mother asks, I took you to a wine tasting. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} That's a terrible thing for a father to do. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} That's why she'll believe it. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} You're a forger? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Klaus Ziegler]]}} "Forger" is such a cruel word. I'm an art forger. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} What you do is horrible; ripping off geniuses who spent years perfecting their styles. | ||
| + | {{qf|Klaus Ziegler}} Perhaps you are the one who is horrible. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} What?! | ||
| + | {{qf|Klaus Ziegler}} You only cared about that painting when you thought it was created by someone famous. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Well, no, but ''now'' when I look at it, all I see is a fraud. | ||
| + | {{qf|Klaus Ziegler}} Beauty is beauty. My forgeries give pleasure to people all over the world. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Klaus Ziegler}} If there's one thing art is good for, it's to melt the frost which often hardens a woman's heart. | ||
| + | |||
{{Season 25|Q}} | {{Season 25|Q}} | ||
| + | {{DEFAULTSORT:War of Art/Quotes, The}} | ||
Latest revision as of 12:41, August 3, 2021
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- Homer: Kettle corn. The heroin of the farmers' market.
- Marge: Oh, it looks great!
- [Homer walk to the living room and look at the new painting]'
- Homer: Well, to me, it looks like garbage salad. But that's the great thing about art. Everyone can have their own opinion about why it sucks.
- Marge: But the Van Houtens are our friends.
- Homer: Are they, Marge? If you think about it, aren't they really just the parents of a kid who happens to hang out with our kid?
- Marge: All our friends are like that.
- Marge: What if we give the Van Houtens 25% of the money?
- Homer: Then they'll just be mad about the 65% that we're keeping.
- Homer: Okay, Milhouse, the guys in back are shining up your new bike.
- Milhouse Van Houten: And all I have to do is not say anything about some painting to my Mom and Dad?
- Marge: Oh, sweetie, you want your parents to be happy, don't you?
- Milhouse: I guess.
- Homer: "I guess"! You're funny! No wonder Lisa's in love with you.
- Milhouse: She is?!
- Lisa: She is?!
- Luann Van Houten: We considered you our friends. We trusted you! I let Homer use our master bathroom! Then you stab us in the back!
- Marge: See what happens when we get greedy?!
- Homer: Honey, there's something I want to show you.
- Marge: An ATM receipt?
- Homer: I don't know whose this is. I found it next to the cash machine, and I've always kept it. Look at the balance.
- Marge: Five figures!
- Homer: With that painting, we could have what these people have: A money cushion. No more living paycheck to paycheck, one lost retainer away from the gutter.
- Marge: I could write a check with today's date on it.
- Homer: That's the cushion.
- Marge: Great! Now we're raccoons, the masked bandits of the animal world!
- Homer: Don't worry. No one's gonna see this stupid show.
- Marge: We don't even get this many Christmas cards.
- Kirk Van Houten: [looking at the picture of Luann on his MyPad, desperately] Oh, Luann, I'll never gaze from my thick eyeglasses into your thick eyeglasses ever again.
- Homer: Okay, all I gotta do is take a quick ferry to Isla Verde, find Café Artiste, and they'll back up Kirk's story. That will prove the painting was his—and now ours.
- Marge: Oh, Homer Simpson, that painting has torn the town apart, destroyed Kirk and Luann's marriage, and everyone's very worried about Milhouse.
- Bart: He's been playing Dancing Revolution for hours, but the TV is off.
- [Milhouse is still playing the dancing game while the TV is off]
- Homer: But our cushion!
- Marge: That picture has brought out the worst in everyone! Please! Just let it go!
- [She walk away from Homer angrily, and Bart just walk into him]
- Bart: You're not gonna let it go, are you?
- Homer: I wish I knew how.
- Lisa: This is so exciting! My first time establishing provenance!
- Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just remember, if your mother asks, I took you to a wine tasting.
- Lisa: That's a terrible thing for a father to do.
- Homer: That's why she'll believe it.
- Lisa: You're a forger?
- Klaus Ziegler: "Forger" is such a cruel word. I'm an art forger.
- Lisa: What you do is horrible; ripping off geniuses who spent years perfecting their styles.
- Klaus Ziegler: Perhaps you are the one who is horrible.
- Lisa: What?!
- Klaus Ziegler: You only cared about that painting when you thought it was created by someone famous.
- Lisa: Well, no, but now when I look at it, all I see is a fraud.
- Klaus Ziegler: Beauty is beauty. My forgeries give pleasure to people all over the world.
- Klaus Ziegler: If there's one thing art is good for, it's to melt the frost which often hardens a woman's heart.
