Difference between revisions of "Thankless Thanksgiving"

Latest revision as of 13:17, May 19, 2024

Thankless Thanksgiving

Tapped Out Quest Information

Level:	5
Update:	Thanksgiving 2013
Required characters:	Sacagawea Lisa, Homer, Moe, Ned, Cletus, Lisa, Marge, Bart
Optional characters:	See Pt. 5
Previous quest(s):	Thanksgiving Intro

Thankless Thanksgiving is a temporary questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Thanksgiving 2013 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa's exclamation mark
	Dad, I was thinking... maybe this year we could have a vegetarian Thanksgiving.
	So just because you feel guilty about walking around in a racist costume, I have to suffer?
	STOP CALLING ME RACIST!!!
	How about "racish?" The "ish" means it's not fully racist, but still a little.
	Talking to you I feel an even deeper connection with oppressed peoples everywhere.
	Great, maybe you can dress up as them next.
	In the meantime, don't change the only thing we know about Thanksgiving: THEY ATE TURKEY.
	sigh I'm the only animal rights activist in this whole town.
	Activish.
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Sulk". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 60 minutes.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	Hey Apu! Turkey me!
	Oh but that I could turkey you, Mr. Homer.
	TURKEY ME!!!
	Unfortunately none of my usual brands of turkeys were delivered. Not the Butterbutts, not the Gobbler Deluxe, not even a single Drumstick King.
	TTTTUUURRRKKKEEEYYY MMMEEE!!!!!!!
	If you want a Thanksgiving turkey, your only hope is to go to a farm and buy one.
	You mean... ME turkey me?
Task: "Reach Level 6 and Build Cletus's Farm". Task: "Make Homer Find a Nice Turkey at Cletus's Farm". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 2 hours.
After starting the job
	Hey Cletus, hook me up with your fattest most juicy turkey!
	Want me to kill it and pluck it for ya?
	Why should you have all the fun? I've got a beheading axe in the car... barely used.
	Well, the turkey's out back. Don't forget to drain the blood.
	Please. Ending the life of turkeys by draining their blood is my life blood.
	You a silly feller all right I reckon.
When the job is completed
	Hey ding-dong, there's no turkeys out there. Just meth labs and kids smoking meth. And a lot of meth just lying around
	My gobblers has been taken?! Oh, this is terrible! I'm so sad, I'm gonna need me a whole lotta meth.
	No Cletus, this is one problem meth can't solve. Did anything strange happen that could explain the missing turkeys?
	Couple a nights ago I was milkin' the cow, and smokin' meth, in the barn when I sees bright lights.
	ALIENS! They must have been kidnapped by aliens!
	Why would we eat the dry meat of turkeys when we can gorge ourselves on the tender flesh of turkey-fattened humans?
	Turkey-fattened humans are our foie gras!
	What about regular foie gras?
	We would never eat that! It's cruel!
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	Something terrible has happened! I don't have blood on my hands!
	That sounds like a good thing. Please let it be a good thing.
	No, the blood on my hands that I crave is turkey blood. But all of the live turkeys are missing!
	What about a vegetarian turkey? A tofurkey? Or a seitan-urkey? Or a spelt-urkey?
	How about a barf-urkey with extra barf sauce and a side of barf stuffing, barf potatoes and barfberry jelly with barf pie a la barf for dessert?
	Vegan food doesn't taste like barf. Except quinoa.
	Don't worry, I'll get back our turkeys, with an old-fashioned turkey hunt.
	Now where do we keep our dynamite?
Task: "Make Homer Organize a Search Party for Missing Turkeys". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 24 hours.
	Moe?
	Hey Homer..
	Flanders?
	Yes?
	I hate you.
	You keep telling me that.
	Also, I need your help.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	Gentlemen. We are about to embark on the most important mission of our lives.
	Oh dear! Did a child go missing? Did an elderly person with dementia wander off?
	Did some kinda monkey with a deadly virus escape from a secret lab and we gotta capture it alive to create an antidote before it turns us into a Planet of the Apes?
	Worse. And different. All the turkeys in Springfield have gone missing. It's up to us to hunt them down, otherwise this year's Thanksgiving will be...
	Vegetarian!
	...
Task: "Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern". Task: "Make Moe Hunt for Turkeys". The job takes 12 hours. Task: "Make Flanders Hunt for Turkeys". The job takes 12 hours. Task: "Make Homer Hunt for Turkeys". The job takes 12 hours.
	We can't find the turkeys anywhere!
	God will be so sad that we aren't eating his blessed creatures on a day celebrating the stealing of a land from his other blessed creatures.
	On the bright side, I did find a diseased monkey that might or might not have turned us into a Planet of the Apes. I hired it to work the bar.
	I think it's time to face facts. This Thanksgiving, we won't be eating anything with a face.
	GASP
	GASP
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Ned's exclamation mark
	It just doesn't feel like Thanksgiving without turkey.
	Deliciously decapitated turkey.
	With sauces made from its death drippings.
	Let's face it. Without a dead turkey, it's Thanksgiving itself that's dead.
Task: "Make Springfielders Attend a Wake for Thanksgiving" (x10). The jobs take place at the Simpson House and take 4 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Characters that can do the task are:

Bart, Homer, Marge, Moe, Mr. Burns, Skinner, Cletus, Krusty, Comic Book Guy, Ned, Rev. Lovejoy, Grampa, Snake, Luigi, Milhouse, Willie, Martin, Nelson, Dr. Hibbert, Barney, Smithers, Ralph, Herman, Chalmers, Professor Frink, Hank Scorpio, Squeaky Voice Teen, Duffman, Kearney, Dr. Nick, Otto, Sideshow Mel, Sherri & Terri, Disco Stu, Patty, Selma, Jimbo, Kirk, Luann, Booberella, Mrs. Krabappel

Pt. 6[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa's exclamation mark
	Everyone seems to think Thanksgiving is all about gluttony and ceaseless consumption.
	A sparse, frugal and healthy meal of steamed Swiss Chard and assorted other international chards should cure them of their obsession with meat.
	Without dead flesh in their stomachs, Springfielders will experience a heightened sense of peace and well-being.
	And so will I... as I hang out with the living turkeys I've hidden in the brown house!
	sneaky chuckle
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Care for Kidnapped Turkeys". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa's exclamation mark
	Oh no! The turkeys are gone!
	They must have escaped while I was feeling self-satisfied!
	Gobble gobble
	Except this little gobbler, who fell asleep listening to one of my many tiresome speeches to myself.
	Don't worry little turkey! I'll find your friends and save them from becoming part of this carnivorous festival of death!
	Zzzzz...
	Oh... my self-involved monologue must have put him to sleep.
	Maybe I can get some help from someone who actually knows about animals, instead of just talking about them all the time.
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Take a Field Trip to Cletus's Farm". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 2 hours.
	Cletus, could you share your country wisdom so that I might find some escaped turkeys?
	Don't you patronize me.
	What?
	I knows when a city feller is talking down to me. I'm country, not stupid.
	You're right... I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
	I'm just joshin' ya. I is stupid! Powerful stupid!
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 8[edit]

After tapping on Cletus exclamation mark
	To catch a Turkey, you'd need a Turkey caller.
	Do you have a turkey caller I can... borrow?
	Borrow? That's communist talk! I'll trade you one for some of those foot-bags you got.
	You mean shoes?
	No! Your foot bags!!!
Task: "Make Cletus Whittle a Turkey Caller". The job takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 9[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa exclamation mark
	What a funny looking contraption.
	UGH! And the sound is so incredibly annoying!
	Funny looking and annoying? Is it a Lisa?
	laughs
	more laughs
	even more laughs
	annoyed grumbling
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Call Turkeys". The job takes 4 hours. Task: "Collect Turkeys" (x10).
Message	Lisa called a turkey into town! Help her catch it by tapping on it!
Message	Another Turkey has been spotted in town. Grab it quick, before it escapes!
Message	Yet another turkey's been called! You know what to do by now, right?
	What the heck is all that gobbling?
	Gobbling? It's... uh... goblins! Yeah, goblins! Happy Halloween! Trick or Treat! Boooo!
	Halloween goblins? Happy Halloween everyone!
	Wait, this isn't the Halloween update! It's the Thanksgiving update.
	Uhhh....
	I thought I heard some Halloween goblins, but it turns out it's... MY TURKEYS!!!
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 10[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa exclamation mark
	Umm... dad... you know how the turkeys have been missing for a while now?
	I kidnapped them. And then I locked them up in the Brown House. And then they escaped.
	HALLELUJAH! Thanksgiving IS saved!
	And also, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Go to her Room". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 60 minutes.
	You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady. Trying to rob Springfield of its God-given right to turkey dinner!
	All I wanted to do was save a few innocent lives.
	As further punishment, I will wear your Sacagawea costume in a sarcastic fashion.
	This is the worst Thanksgiving ever!
	No, it's the worst Thanksgiving yet.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 11[edit]

After tapping on Homer exclamation mark
	WOO HOO! Thanksgiving is back on!
	You mean Turkey-geddon is back on?
	Oh Lisa. Don't be such a Thanksgiving-pooper. At least I gave you your costume back.
	It's stretched out like a circus tent and smells like pork chops. So yeah, Dad, thanks.
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Mourn Thanksgiving Turkey Massacre". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours.
	Ohhh. I hate seeing my children doing a guilt-trip job.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 12[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
	Homie... our poor little Lisa... I haven't seen her this sad in ages.
	grumble
	Oh fine! We can have a turkey-free Thanksgiving this year.
	REALLY?!
	REALLY?!
	REALLY?!
	Gobble Gobble?!
	Yes. Really.
	If... I can eat a whole cow for Christmas!
	Moooo?!?!?!?!
Task: "Make Lisa Enjoy a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Homer Endure a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Marge Endure a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Bart Endure a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours.
	I wants you to keep this turkey as a re-ward.
	You know who really deserves this turkey?
	The real life player who wasted his hard-earned money buying imaginary pictures from a 25-year-old TV show?
	No... me. You were right the first time.
New Character: Turkey
Quest reward: 200 and 20

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out Thanksgiving 2013 quests

God Bless Native America • Happy Thanksgiving • Thankless Thanksgiving • Thanksgiving Intro