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Thankless Thanksgiving

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


Thankless Thanksgiving
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: Thanksgiving 2013
Required characters: Sacagawea Lisa, Homer, Moe, Ned, Cletus, Lisa, Marge, Bart
Optional characters: See Pt. 5
Previous quest(s): Thanksgiving Intro

Thankless Thanksgiving is a temporary questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Thanksgiving 2013 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa's exclamation mark
Sacagawea Lisa Dad, I was thinking... maybe this year we could have a vegetarian Thanksgiving.
Homer - Angry So just because you feel guilty about walking around in a racist costume, I have to suffer?
Sacagawea Lisa - Angry STOP CALLING ME RACIST!!!
Homer How about "racish?" The "ish" means it's not fully racist, but still a little.
Sacagawea Lisa - Sad Talking to you I feel an even deeper connection with oppressed peoples everywhere.
Homer Great, maybe you can dress up as them next.
Homer In the meantime, don't change the only thing we know about Thanksgiving: THEY ATE TURKEY.
Sacagawea Lisa - Sad *sigh* I'm the only animal rights activist in this whole town.
Homer Activish.
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Sulk". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 60 minutes.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer - Happy Hey Apu! Turkey me!
Apu - Sad Oh but that I could turkey you, Mr. Homer.
Homer - Angry TURKEY ME!!!
Apu Unfortunately none of my usual brands of turkeys were delivered. Not the Butterbutts, not the Gobbler Deluxe, not even a single Drumstick King.
Homer - Furious TTTTUUURRRKKKEEEYYY MMMEEE!!!!!!!
Apu If you want a Thanksgiving turkey, your only hope is to go to a farm and buy one.
Homer You mean... ME turkey me?
Task: "Reach Level 6 and Build Cletus's Farm".
Task: "Make Homer Find a Nice Turkey at Cletus's Farm". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 2 hours.
After starting the job
Homer Hey Cletus, hook me up with your fattest most juicy turkey!
Cletus Want me to kill it and pluck it for ya?
Homer - Annoyed Why should you have all the fun? I've got a beheading axe in the car... barely used.
Cletus Well, the turkey's out back. Don't forget to drain the blood.
Homer Please. Ending the life of turkeys by draining their blood is my life blood.
Cletus You a silly feller all right I reckon.
When the job is completed
Homer - Annoyed Hey ding-dong, there's no turkeys out there. Just meth labs and kids smoking meth. And a lot of meth just lying around
Cletus - Shocked My gobblers has been taken?! Oh, this is terrible! I'm so sad, I'm gonna need me a whole lotta meth.
Homer No Cletus, this is one problem meth can't solve. Did anything strange happen that could explain the missing turkeys?
Cletus Couple a nights ago I was milkin' the cow, and smokin' meth, in the barn when I sees bright lights.
Homer ALIENS! They must have been kidnapped by aliens!
Kang Why would we eat the dry meat of turkeys when we can gorge ourselves on the tender flesh of turkey-fattened humans?
Kodos Turkey-fattened humans are our foie gras!
Homer What about regular foie gras?
Kang We would never eat that! It's cruel!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer - Sad Something terrible has happened! I don't have blood on my hands!
Marge That sounds like a good thing. Please let it be a good thing.
Homer - Sad No, the blood on my hands that I crave is turkey blood. But all of the live turkeys are missing!
Sacagawea Lisa What about a vegetarian turkey? A tofurkey? Or a seitan-urkey? Or a spelt-urkey?
Homer How about a barf-urkey with extra barf sauce and a side of barf stuffing, barf potatoes and barfberry jelly with barf pie a la barf for dessert?
Sacagawea Lisa Vegan food doesn't taste like barf. Except quinoa.
Homer Don't worry, I'll get back our turkeys, with an old-fashioned turkey hunt.
Homer Now where do we keep our dynamite?
Task: "Make Homer Organize a Search Party for Missing Turkeys". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 24 hours.
Homer Moe?
Moe Hey Homer..
Homer Flanders?
Ned Yes?
Homer I hate you.
Ned - Sad You keep telling me that.
Homer Also, I need your help.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer Gentlemen. We are about to embark on the most important mission of our lives.
Ned - Worried Oh dear! Did a child go missing? Did an elderly person with dementia wander off?
Moe - Worried Did some kinda monkey with a deadly virus escape from a secret lab and we gotta capture it alive to create an antidote before it turns us into a Planet of the Apes?
Homer Worse. And different. All the turkeys in Springfield have gone missing. It's up to us to hunt them down, otherwise this year's Thanksgiving will be...
Homer - Horrified Vegetarian!
Ned - Surprised ...
Task: "Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern".
Task: "Make Moe Hunt for Turkeys". The job takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Flanders Hunt for Turkeys". The job takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Hunt for Turkeys". The job takes 12 hours.
Homer - Sad We can't find the turkeys anywhere!
Ned - Sad God will be so sad that we aren't eating his blessed creatures on a day celebrating the stealing of a land from his other blessed creatures.
Moe On the bright side, I did find a diseased monkey that might or might not have turned us into a Planet of the Apes. I hired it to work the bar.
Homer - Serious I think it's time to face facts. This Thanksgiving, we won't be eating anything with a face.
Moe - Surprised *GASP*
Ned - Shocked *GASP*
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Ned's exclamation mark
Ned - Sad It just doesn't feel like Thanksgiving without turkey.
Homer - Sad Deliciously decapitated turkey.
Moe - Sad With sauces made from its death drippings.
Homer - Angry Let's face it. Without a dead turkey, it's Thanksgiving itself that's dead.
Task: "Make Springfielders Attend a Wake for Thanksgiving" (x10). The jobs take place at the Simpson House and take 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Characters that can do the task are:

Bart, Homer, Marge, Moe, Mr. Burns, Skinner, Cletus, Krusty, Comic Book Guy, Ned, Rev. Lovejoy, Grampa, Snake, Luigi, Milhouse, Willie, Martin, Nelson, Dr. Hibbert, Barney, Smithers, Ralph, Herman, Chalmers, Professor Frink, Hank Scorpio, Squeaky Voice Teen, Duffman, Kearney, Dr. Nick, Otto, Sideshow Mel, Sherri & Terri, Disco Stu, Patty, Selma, Jimbo, Kirk, Luann, Booberella, Mrs. Krabappel

Pt. 6[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa's exclamation mark
Sacagawea Lisa Everyone seems to think Thanksgiving is all about gluttony and ceaseless consumption.
Sacagawea Lisa A sparse, frugal and healthy meal of steamed Swiss Chard and assorted other international chards should cure them of their obsession with meat.
Sacagawea Lisa Without dead flesh in their stomachs, Springfielders will experience a heightened sense of peace and well-being.
Sacagawea Lisa - Happy And so will I... as I hang out with the living turkeys I've hidden in the brown house!
Sacagawea Lisa - Happy *sneaky chuckle*
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Care for Kidnapped Turkeys". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa's exclamation mark
Sacagawea Lisa - Sad Oh no! The turkeys are gone!
Sacagawea Lisa They must have escaped while I was feeling self-satisfied!
Turkey *Gobble gobble*
Sacagawea Lisa Except this little gobbler, who fell asleep listening to one of my many tiresome speeches to myself.
Sacagawea Lisa Don't worry little turkey! I'll find your friends and save them from becoming part of this carnivorous festival of death!
Turkey - Closed Eyes Zzzzz...
Sacagawea Lisa Oh... my self-involved monologue must have put him to sleep.
Sacagawea Lisa Maybe I can get some help from someone who actually knows about animals, instead of just talking about them all the time.
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Take a Field Trip to Cletus's Farm". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 2 hours.
Sacagawea Lisa Cletus, could you share your country wisdom so that I might find some escaped turkeys?
Cletus - Angry Don't you patronize me.
Sacagawea Lisa - Shocked What?
Cletus - Angry I knows when a city feller is talking down to me. I'm country, not stupid.
Sacagawea Lisa You're right... I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cletus - Smiling I'm just joshin' ya. I is stupid! Powerful stupid!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 8[edit]

After tapping on Cletus exclamation mark
Cletus To catch a Turkey, you'd need a Turkey caller.
Sacagawea Lisa Do you have a turkey caller I can... borrow?
Cletus Borrow? That's communist talk! I'll trade you one for some of those foot-bags you got.
Sacagawea Lisa You mean shoes?
Cletus No! Your foot bags!!!
Task: "Make Cletus Whittle a Turkey Caller". The job takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 9[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa exclamation mark
Sacagawea Lisa What a funny looking contraption.
Sacagawea Lisa UGH! And the sound is so incredibly annoying!
Bart Funny looking and annoying? Is it a Lisa?
Bart - Laughing *laughs*
Bart - Laughing *more laughs*
Bart - Laughing *even more laughs*
Sacagawea Lisa *annoyed grumbling*
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Call Turkeys". The job takes 4 hours.
Task: "Collect Turkeys" (x10).
Message Lisa called a turkey into town! Help her catch it by tapping on it!
Message Another Turkey has been spotted in town. Grab it quick, before it escapes!
Message Yet another turkey's been called! You know what to do by now, right?
Homer - Confused What the heck is all that gobbling?
Sacagawea Lisa Gobbling? It's... uh... goblins! Yeah, goblins! Happy Halloween! Trick or Treat! Boooo!
Homer - Happy Halloween goblins? Happy Halloween everyone!
Homer Wait, this isn't the Halloween update! It's the Thanksgiving update.
Sacagawea Lisa - Sad Uhhh....
Cletus - Angry I thought I heard some Halloween goblins, but it turns out it's... MY TURKEYS!!!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 10[edit]

After tapping on Sacagawea Lisa exclamation mark
Sacagawea Lisa - Sad Umm... dad... you know how the turkeys have been missing for a while now?
Sacagawea Lisa - Sad I kidnapped them. And then I locked them up in the Brown House. And then they escaped.
Homer - Happy HALLELUJAH! Thanksgiving IS saved!
Homer - Angry And also, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Go to her Room". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 60 minutes.
Homer You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady. Trying to rob Springfield of its God-given right to turkey dinner!
Lisa - Sad All I wanted to do was save a few innocent lives.
Homer Sacagawea As further punishment, I will wear your Sacagawea costume in a sarcastic fashion.
Lisa - Sad This is the worst Thanksgiving ever!
Homer Sacagawea - Stern No, it's the worst Thanksgiving yet.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 11[edit]

After tapping on Homer exclamation mark
Homer Sacagawea WOO HOO! Thanksgiving is back on!
Lisa You mean Turkey-geddon is back on?
Homer Oh Lisa. Don't be such a Thanksgiving-pooper. At least I gave you your costume back.
Lisa It's stretched out like a circus tent and smells like pork chops. So yeah, Dad, thanks.
Task: "Make Sacagawea Lisa Mourn Thanksgiving Turkey Massacre". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours.
Homer - Sad Ohhh. I hate seeing my children doing a guilt-trip job.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 12[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
Marge - Sad Homie... our poor little Lisa... I haven't seen her this sad in ages.
Homer - Annoyed *grumble*
Homer Oh fine! We can have a turkey-free Thanksgiving this year.
Sacagawea Lisa - Happy REALLY?!
Marge - Surprised REALLY?!
Bart - Surprised REALLY?!
Turkey *Gobble Gobble*?!
Homer - Sad Yes. Really.
Homer - Dreamy If... I can eat a whole cow for Christmas!
Tapped Out Cow Icon.png *Moooo*?!?!?!?!
Task: "Make Lisa Enjoy a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Endure a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Marge Endure a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Bart Endure a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours.
Cletus I wants you to keep this turkey as a re-ward.
Sacagawea Lisa You know who really deserves this turkey?
Cletus The real life player who wasted his hard-earned money buying imaginary pictures from a 25-year-old TV show?
Sacagawea Lisa No... me. You were right the first time.
New Character: Turkey
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20