Stew Lies/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Bart: What are you, copying me now?
- Lisa: [nasal voice] What are you, copying me now? Nyah.
- Lisa: Bart's using the bathroom and he doesn't wash his hands, so I've got 20 seconds tops. Make him stop copying me. Please, it's been a month! That is a huge percentage of my short life.
- Homer: Not now, honey. Daddy's watching his latest favorite show of all time. We can talk about jazz later.
- Lisa: Dad, please, he won't stop!
- Bart: Dad, please, he won't stop!
- Lisa: [reading from a script] "I'm Bart Simpson, and this is how I feel."
- Bart: I'm Bart Simpson, and this is how I feel.
- Lisa: "I have spent the last six months..."
- Bart: I have spent the last six months...
- Lisa: "repeating every word said"
- Bart: repeating every word said
- Lisa: "by my sister, Lisa Simpson."
- Bart: by my sister, Lisa Simpson.
- Lisa: "We entered as adversaries..."
- Bart: We entered as adversaries...
- Lisa: "and through some strange magic..."
- Bart: and through some strange magic...
- Lisa: "we have emerged as friends."
- Bart: we have emerged as friends.
- Lisa: "I set out to break my sister's spirit..."
- Bart: I set out to break my sister's spirit...
- Lisa: "but wound up giving her a priceless gift."
- Bart: but wound up giving her a priceless gift.
- Lisa: "The knowledge that her brother"
- Bart: The knowledge that her brother
- Lisa: "will always be by her side."
- Bart: will always be by her side.
- Lisa: "And so she will always feel"
- Bart: And so she will always feel
- Lisa: "loved and protected."
- Bart: loved and protected.
- Lisa: "I am the best big brother a girl could ever ask for." [pauses] Aren't you gonna repeat that last part?
- Bart: [tearing up] I don't think I can.
- Lisa: Does that mean it's over? Because I'm, I'm-I'm not sure I want it to be. [speaking Mandarin] I love you, Bart.
- Bart: I love you, too.
- Lenny Leonard: I find this performative gluttony offensive.
- Carl Carlson: Yeah, there are hungry supermodels in this world who would kill for a bowl of painfully spicy ramen.
- Homer: I finally have a reason to live till October 10.
- Luigi Risotto: We asked: "Could-a we make it?" We never asked "Should-a we make it?"
- Homer: I don't get it, Thad. Just last episode, you were a healthy young man drinking 20 gallons of ranch dressing to win a T-shirt.
- Thad Parkour: I'm sorry, brother. I really hate letting my fans down, but I died three times in the ambulance. I don't think that's good for you.
- Homer: Doc, you got to fix him. Where's he's indomitable spirit? His can-chew attitude?
- Dr. Hibbert: [reading] "Can-chew attitude: critically low." Damn! He's as good as dead.
- Homer: From here you can smell every meal being cooked in Springfield, from windowsill pies to dishwasher-poached salmon.
- Thad Parkour: But how is this possible?
- Homer: Who knows? But if I had to guess... Warm moist air coming off the ocean meets cold breezes descending from the mountains. Springfield's unique topography, a remnant of glaciation during the last ice age, produces varying degrees of albedo, a unique system of high- and low-pressure zones, which shunt odor-rich air from kitchens around the town into this natural amphitheater. But again, that's just a guess.
- Homer: I could swear I've seen this house before. But blindfolded, from the trunk of a car...
- Fat Tony: What a pleasant surprise... that you made it past my bodyguards!
- Louie: Sorry, boss. I thought I had a pebble in my shoe. Turns out there's this embroidery on my sock.
- Fat Tony: To maintain the peace, each boss would send his youngest son to live with the other family, as collateral. It was a ceremony steeped in tradition.
- Fatso Antonio D'Amico and Wilhelm von Wonthelm: [singing] Flip-flop, clippety-clop I declare a son swap.
- Wilhelm von Wonthelm: Ska is no future! How much was your band paid to perform at the grand opening of the Continental Tire store?
- Maximillian von Wonthelm: $50.
- Wilhelm von Wonthelm: But there are 17 of you. And several who do nothing but dance around.
- Fat Tony: [to Homer] I was just meeting your charming widow.
- Marge: [chuckles] I'm not that charming.
- Fat Tony: [reading text messages] "Hey, Fat Tony. Homer here. You just threw me off a bridge. LOL. If you pull me up, I can save both our lives."
- Fat Tony: [responding] Explain first. Then I pull you up.
- Fat Tony: [reading text messages] "Pull me up first. Scary turtle down here. Also, running low on oxygen. Crying-laughing emoji."
- Fat Tony: Thank you, Maximillian. Oh, and how's my youngest son doing?
- Maximillian von Wonthelm: Really good. He's super into mask-making. How's mine?
- Fat Tony: We're zeroing in on his allergies. His eyes stopped watering, and we're slowly adding things back in.
- Homer: I've heard the rest of the world has slightly different toilets, and I'm scared of that.
