Homer and Her Sisters/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Homer and Her Sisters"
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- Homer: [scoffs] If you ask me, any room with Patty and Selma in it is an escape room.
- Marge: I know you don't like Patty, Selma, puzzles or parties, but try to enjoy Patty and Selma's puzzle party.
- Squeaky-voiced teen: [over intercom] You've used one hint.
- Selma Bouvier: You ruined our perfect hint-free streak, you Crisco-chugging pistachio brain!
- Homer: Yeah, well you're a, uh, uh... Hint?
- Squeaky-voiced teen: [over intercom] I don't know, something about her hair, maybe?
- Krusty the Clown: Aunt Sadie! My favorite aunt who still talks to me.
- Krusty: Why the hell didn't you tell me about this show, about my show?
- Sideshow Mel: We've begged you many times to come on.
- Krusty: Shut up, you backstabbing traitor!
- Patty Bouvier: We've never failed an escape room, and we're not starting now. Forgive me, Selma. Hint!
- Squeaky-voiced teen: [over intercom] The bald man who hates you found the exit key 20 minutes ago and has been using it to scratch his butt out of spite.
- Squeaky-voiced teen: [over intercom] Your mission has failed. The frozen sea has claimed your bodies. And your grieving children will be sent to the gulag. Happy birthday!
- Sadie Krustofsky: Herschella Krustofsky, you self-absorbed degenerate freak! You're a lonely, sad narcissist who has no connection to his fellow man. You're an empty Hollywood elitist clown who's gonna die alone on a toilet kissing your own headshot.
- Lisa: Dad, I thought you hated family game night.
- Homer: No, I hated extended family game night. With your evil, terrible aunts.
- Lisa: Can you please make up with them? We really need six people to play The Three Duos of Half-Dozen Mountain.
- Homer: Honey, if I could wave a magic wand and make Patty and Selma not suck, I would.
- Patty: Where's Marge? Is she okay?
- Selma: She texted us she fell off the roof cleaning the gutters.
- Marge: I lied about that to get you all here together. I did clean the gutters, though. And I did fall off the roof.
- Sadie: So, Marge, who was right? What is your favorite cake flavor?
- Marge: It's neither. I like vanilla. Only vanilla. The less flavor, the better.
- Marge: How can I be the problem? I'm the Marge of this.
- Krusty: This is what showbiz is all about, huh, Wayne the Grip? The camaraderie.
- Wayne the Grip: [yelps] Why do you know my name? Please don't fire me. I need to support my stepson's illegal street racing habit.
- Homer: Patty and Selma, welcome to Moe's.
- Patty: Weird how the sunlight stops at the doorway. Like it's afraid to come in.
- Homer: Yeah, a scientist tried to explain it one time and went crazy.
- Moe Szyslak: Midge has two hotter sisters?
- Homer: Patty and Selma.
- Moe: Pidge and Sidge?
- Krusty: You got a little water prison for the kids. Nice.
- Wayne the Grip: Oh, it's a pool.
- Krusty: No, pools go in the ground.
- Marge: You fixed nothing! You plaster over real problems with an easy catchphrase. These three have hated each other since the moment they met. And all you did was give them a reason to not feel guilty about it.
- Sadie: Don't talk to me about guilt. I invented guilt!
- Marge: No! It's my turn to yell! And point and point and point! You can't solve relationships in 30 minutes. It requires years of constant hard work and deep self-reflection from all parties.
