The Yellow Lotus/Quotes
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- Homer: Marge, I love when you grab my butt with your cold, stiff fingers.
- Kent Brockman: The Yellow Lotus, a luxury, five-star resort, has opened its teakwood doors to Springfield's neediest minority: the wealthy elite.
- Nick Callahan: Yeah, quick question. Is he mooning me?
- Marge: The baby's behind speaks for us all when it says we should leave now!
- Nick Callahan: Well, of course. You're not prisoners. But if you leave, you are breaking the law, and you'll end up in prison unless you sign this contract.
- Kirk Van Houten: Another free breakfast, and all I had to do was risk death.
- Nick Callahan: Homer, what is more important: to feel rich or to be rich?
- Homer: To be rich!
- Nick Callahan: Guess again.
- Homer: To feel rich!
- Nick Callahan: Exactly. Now sign.
- Lindsey Naegle: Checkout time. Back away from the minibar.
- Homer: Uh, excuse me. May I remind you we have accumulated 450 million points.
- Lindsey Naegle: Which equals 20 minutes. Your stay is over.
- Dr. Hibbert: We requested a sober room. No minibar. My wife has gone a whole year without a drink.
- Bernice Hibbert: Oh, thank you, Julius. Please tell everybody. I won't mention how you have your nurse finish your operations so you can go play golf.
- Shauna Chalmers: Welcome to the Yellow Lotus. I'm Shauna. You're Tasha.
- Tasha: Yes, I know my name. Usually.
- Homer: That woman's luggage gets a room, but we don't?! Is this why we defeated the Nazi zombies in Call of Duty: World at War?
- Homer: Hey, how'd you get the key, boy?
- Bart: The real question is not how did I get a key, but how did I get a machine that makes keys?
- Homer: He's got you there, Marge.
- Marge: I didn't ask anything.
- Homer: Okay. Fine. One week. But if your wife turns up dead, even once, we're calling the cops.
- Tasha: I see you're reading Barbra.
- Marge: Yeah. After I put it in my suitcase, I had no room for anything else.
- Tasha: I've got the audiobook. I had to delete all the photos on my phone so I'd have enough memory. Who needs my memories when I have Barbra's?
- Marge: Bob married my sister for her money, and she has way less than you.
- Tasha: Well, I've got an ironclad prenup. If we get divorced, Bob gets no money. Unless I'm murdered. But he told me that's just boilerplate.
- Dr. Hibbert: I love you, Bernice. And we're not coming down until you're clean. Also, not until I figure out how to get this balloon back to land. [chuckles]
- Sideshow Bob: Like all sociopaths, all I really needed was the love of a good woman. And the proper medication. Now all I want to do is smother you with kisses and set you ablaze with passion.
