Treehouse of Horror Presents: Simpsons Wicked This Way Comes/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Treehouse of Horror Presents: Simpsons Wicked This Way Comes"
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- Lisa: Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that a strange circus just appeared out of nowhere?
- Homer: Oh, come on, Lisa. You love circuseses.
- Lisa: I hate them. I've literally gotten three shut down just in the past year.
- Homer: Yes, but this one's only exploiting people.
- Ringmaster: I'm sorry, but you're fired. Times have changed. You're just not the draw you used to be. You're got fewer tattoos than the average chef.
- The Illustrated Man: Uh, yes, but mine are--
- Ringmaster: Mystical portals to an alternate reality. Look, if kids want mystical portals, they'll look at their phones.
- Lisa: Excuse me. How much to see the Illustrated Man?
- The Illustrated Man: Forget it, kid. I'm retired.
- Lisa: Okay, best of luck to you.
- The Illustrated Man: Oh, you don't give up, do you?
- Marge: I think we all know this is another one of your famous fibs.
- Homer: Yeah, like that time you said there was a boy in the woods crying wolf, and when we got there, there was no boy at all. Just a fat wolf.
- Bart: You can't be dead. You can't. I'm sorry, lady. I tried. The one time I'm not lying to make other people look stupid for believing me, and no one will believe me.
- Chief Wiggum: Is this the woman who buried you?
- Luann Van Houten: He let Miss Hoover see him buying my hair dye. The shame. What choice did I have?
- Chief Wiggum: Uh, she's got a point. Here in the 1950s, murder is much more socially acceptable than, uh, you know, divorce. You're free to go.
- Superintendent Chalmers: You know you're a tragic figure? Like Hamlet if he was boring and a principal and a-- and an idiot.
- Carl Carlson: It's an exact robot replica of me. A very hush-hush new technology.
- Superintendent Chalmers: How do they work?
- Carl: They're full of gears. Hundreds of 'em.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Gears, of course.
- Superintendent Chalmers: My, my, you are quite the me. Now, h-how does one power you up?
- Robot Chalmers: Well, I do enjoy a good cup of coffee in the morning.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, as do I. Nature's pipe cleaner, I call it. But you would know that, uh, being me, only in robot form, of course.
- Robot Chalmers: Yes, quite. A-And you the human me, as it were.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Have a good day, Superintendent. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
- Robot Chalmers: I don't think my programming would allow it.
- Superintendent Chalmers: How... how are there two of you?
- Principal Skinner: I ordered a robot me so I wouldn't have to be around you anymore.
- Superintendent Chalmers: What? You don't Robot-Skinner me, I Robot-Chalmers you.
- Carl: Guy from the bar that night, thank God I found you. You got to destroy that robot before it's too late.
- Principal Skinner: What's wrong with the robots?
- Carl: I don't know what happened. Something with the gears, maybe.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Good God.
- Homer: Who's that guy with the mustache? Who's that other mustache? It's so dark. Can we brighten it?
- Lisa: This is how the director meant for us to watch it. Our squinting reinforces the themes.
- Homer: Do you guys ever wish TV could be dumb and fun? So when you watch it, you just laugh?
- Bart: The dog that sneezed in the baby's face, what's his backstory?
- Homer: There's no backstory. It just is.
- Bart: Which is its own kind of innovative narrative?
- Homer: No, no narrative!
- Siegfried Blaze: Homer, you disappoint me. Don't you see that we set fires for the good of humanity? We learned long ago that entertainment must fully occupy the consciousness of the population.
- Homer: You're using quality TV to control us.
- Siegfried Blaze: Yes, these challenging shows are the perfect distraction from how dystopian our dystopia is.
- Siegfried Blaze: Do you know what entertainment was like in the before-times? Comfort shows you could just put on in any order while you looked at your phone.
- Homer: Oh, that sounds like heaven.
- Homer: Please, let me in. I just want to watch something that isn't very good.
- Homer: That night, my friends, the funniest home video in all of America was deemed to be "Squirrel Falls in Grandma's Soup."
