Estranger Things/Quotes
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- Young Bart: I want to watch a show about bulldozers.
- Young Lisa: But it should have unicorns in it.
- Young Bart: Right. Bulldozers crushing unicorns.
- Young Bart: This cartoon is called Itchy & Scratchy?
- Young Lisa: Yeah, it's named after your butt.
- Young Bart: Whoa, nice one.
- Marge: Okay, but isn't there something else you could do with your brother?
- Lisa: Interesting idea. I'll circle back with my team and let you know.
- Marge: That always means no.
- Marge: I knew my kids were growing up, but I never thought they'd grow apart. And I think I'm the only one who cares.
- Marge: Have you noticed that Bart and Lisa don't hang out these days? They barely even speak anymore.
- Homer: Yeah, but if I may pose a counterargument: Eh, whaddya gonna do?
- Marge: Kids. Kids, can I talk to you for a second? Your father and I won't be around forever. When you get older, you'll need to lean on each other. Whatever you do, don't drift apart. You share a journey with your siblings that no one else will ever understand. You must never, ever, ever take that for granted.
- Lisa: Okay, Barney doesn't look so bad, all things considered.
- Nelson: [groans]
- Lisa: Oh, my God. That's Nelson.
- Nelson: Haw-haw! My life took a tragic turn.
- Lisa: Well, I'm disappointed I can't see my dad, but also kind of relieved. You can relate, right?
- Nurse: Oh, of course. I'm also a horrible person.
- Bart: Okay, I've told a few fibs, but since when is fraud a crime?
- Lenny Leonard: Car drive Lenny crash good?
- Lisa: You're a failure as a brother, a son, a human being, and given your shocking level of irresponsibility, probably a father.
- Bart: Nobody gets pregnant from the kind of sex I have.
- Lisa: Today, I want to tell you that if you work really hard and dream really big, you can become whatever you want to be. But I don't have the energy to lie like that today because I am so mad at my failure of a brother, Bart. Just when I think I'm numb to his punches, he starts kicking, kicking me in the shins of my soul.
- Principal Skinner: Okay, let's all hear it for Lisa Simpson.
- Lisa: How dare you interrupt my onstage breakdown!
- Superintendent Chalmers: Goodbye, Lisa. And if you're ever back in town, by all means, don't call us again.
- Carl Carlson: Guys, guys, guys. Lenny's gone.
- Comic Book Guy: Mentally?
- Carl: Yes, but also gone gone.
- Bart: All you do is sit in your big-city office and send checks, while I'm here doing the heavy lifting, by which I mean putting Dad on the toilet six times a day.
- Lisa: Ew.
- Bart: Even worse is getting him off that thing. You need a two-by-four to break the suction.
- Lisa: [shouting] Stop it!
- Marge: [on video] Homer, in the very unlikely circumstance that I die before you, please know that I'll always be there, in the sizzle of your bacon, the bubble of your beer and in all the other things that will kill you so that we can be together again. Maggie, my little chatterbox, I hope you achieved your goal of becoming an auctioneer for farm equipment.
- Lisa: She did.
- Marge: [on video] And Bart and Lisa, many years ago, I told you both to lean on each other and not drift apart. My dearest hope is that you're looking out for each other and sharing a lifelong journey together.
- Bart: We didn't do any of that stuff. Because I suck. [cries]
- Lisa: We both suck.
