Bart's Brain/Quotes
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- Grampa: Not diggity. This room is tiny. How's it better?
- Homer: Better for us. It's cheaper.
- Marge: Much cheaper.
- Homer: Wouldn't you rather we spend that money on your grandkids' education?
- Grampa: No! They're dumb as dirt.
- Lisa: What about this shoe tree? Does it bring you joy?
- Grampa: It makes me furious! I'm keeping it.
- Bart: Army comic book about "VD"? Why wouldn't I want to catch Valentine's Day?
- Bart: My life up to now has been merely a prelude. Today a prank king becomes a prank god. I want to buy your brain!
- Principal Skinner: Bart, you did far more damage today than just ruined some administrators' suits. We may be wearing clothes from the lost and found, but you are truly lost. Today you traumatized scores of students, rendered the cafeteria uninhabitable for weeks. And worst of all, worst of all, you-you broke Willie.
- Bart: I don't want to lug this thing everywhere I go. I had my fun for five minutes, and now I want to move on with my life.
- Ms. Peyton: And that's parenthood.
- Nelson Muntz: Aw, man, how do I even know this thing's mine? Um, I'm going out for candy cigarettes. Be right back, slugger.
- Bart's brain: You know, Bart, I'm your brain, too, and I can help you study all your subjects.
- Bart: Shut up, stupid, or I'll go back to sniffing permanent markers!
- Bart's brain: I'll be good.
- Moe Szyslak: I'm sorry, Homer. I'm not accepting organs as payment. Anymore.
- Bart: What happened to that brain my dad had?
- Moe: Well, years of drinking, not to mention all that nuclear stuff, and, uh, I don't think it was all that great to begin with.
- Bart: This isn't some frog where you can put a firecracker in its butt. It's a living thing, and it's my job to take care of it and teach it to do cool stuff like, um, paintball and-and pooping in jack-o'-lanterns. So hands off my brain!
- Kearney Zzyzwicz: I wonder if anyone will ever love me the way he loves that brain.
- Marge: Children label each other. Bart's in danger of becoming "The Brain Boy."
- Homer: You worry too much. Remember when you thought Lisa was going to Hell because she was a vegetarian?
- Marge: I still think that.
- Bart: An A-plus? I can't believe it. I've never gotten one of those. I thought those were just for suck-wads like Martin.
- Homer: Ah, wifeless shopping, where all the meat is nuggets and the produce section doesn't exist. Ooh, the candy aisle. Formerly known as cereal.
- Miss Hoover: When I had him in second grade, he ate a booger.
- Sarah Wiggum: I hear Bart shares his bed with that brain. Puts a little sleep mask on it.
- Nelson: It's my fault, girls. I should've noogied him more, knuckled some sense into him. He had potential, but I guess he's just the town freak now. [sadly] Haw-haw.
- Bart: So, what episode of Jesus are we on today? Is he still talking about not judging people? You know, loving your brother? Or your son?
- Bart: Go ahead, laugh and point at me. Call me Brain Boy. I don't care. I have a friend who will never judge me, who's always been there for me: this brain! He gets me, 'cause we're one in the same: badasses who don't play by society's rules. We're the Bartmen. Me and my best pal! Corbin Everly? Who's Corbin Everly?
- Lisa: Hold on. He was a local tax accountant who donated his body to science hoping it could benefit the world after his passing.
- Bart: So Buddy's nothing like me? He's not some rude, crude, prankin' dude with the freaky fresh 'tude? He was just some guy named Corbin?
