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Smart and Smarter/Quotes

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Season 15 Episode Quotes
325 "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
"Smart and Smarter"
"The Ziff Who Came to Dinner" 327

Lisa: I'm tired. I'm hungry. Red plastic sandals are not good running-away footwear.

Lisa: Just because Maggie can't talk doesn't mean she's dumb. Einstein didn't speak until he was 3.
Marge: And even then he could only speak German.

Lisa: I can't believe I'm jealous of a baby!
Bart: Hey, so am I! When you're a baby, you can just spend all day rolling around on the floor. [sighs] I miss those days.
Nelson: Then roll, baby! [Bart rolls on the bus floor] Ha Ha! Floor Baby!
Lisa: You're laughing at him for something you made him do.
Nelson: Well... you're gay!
Lisa: People who call other people gay are often covering up their own latent homosexuality.
[Nelson panics and jumps out the emergency exit; he rolls and then gets back up.]

Little Boy: The pig says, "oink!" The chicken says..
Henry: Stop! I could go to any Chuck E' Cheese in America if I want to hear what animals say. You know what I say? I say next!
[The mother picks up the little boy and walks away.]
Little Boy: You're a poopie!
Henry: [to the mother] Do you nurse with that mouth?

Homer: Look what they sent over. A talking dealy. His name is Phonics Frog. [presses A, B, and C]
Phonics Frog: Ah-Buh-Cuh...
[Homer types his name.]
Phonics Frog: Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur
Homer: That's me! Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur. [presses more buttons]
Phonics Frog: This-Is-Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur-Dok-tor-Hee's-too-sick-too-urk-too-day.
[Homer laughs.]
Homer: Uh... I'll be right back. [runs to the phone]

Pimply Teen: [to Comic Book Guy] Sir, you can't take food into the theater.
Comic Book Guy: Search all you want. You'll never find it all. I'm baking muffins as we speak.

[Lisa tries to be a stand-up comedian.]
Lisa: So... why do they call them field trips? We never go to a field!
Principal Skinner: Not true! Last week we went to a battlefield.
Lisa: Uh, well I...
Ralph: I'm bem-barrassed for you!
Nelson: The following "Ha Ha" is not from amusement, but a sign of contempt. Ha Ha!

Lisa: So Maggie's NOT a genius?
Henry: Oh, she could be... at sweeping up hair!
Homer: That's my baby, jerk! [punches Henry leaving him with a bruise on his nose]
Henry: You call that a punch? I felt it, but it was like "so what"? [Homer punches Henry again leaving a nosebleed] Oh, again with the nose. I have a chin too, you know! [Homer punches Henry making him unconscious]
Moe: [as the butler] Don't worry sir, the maid and I will take him out to the curb. Come on!
Barney: [as the maid] You promised me no one would get hurt!

[When Lisa is dressed up as a goth.]
Milhouse: What are you now, Lisa? An Oakland Raiders fan?

Homer: We've all learned something today. Never be something you're not, namely food.

Simon Cowell: [after seeing his name in the ending credits] Now, there's a celebrity!

Simon Cowell: [when the "Gracie Films" woman shushes] Oh, shhh yourself!

Simon Cowell: She's as common as an angry woman in an Ibsen play.
Season 15 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XIV My Mother the Carjacker The President Wore Pearls The Regina Monologues The Fat and the Furriest Today I Am a Clown 'Tis the Fifteenth Season Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot Diatribe of a Mad Housewife Margical History Tour Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore Smart and Smarter The Ziff Who Came to Dinner Co-Dependent's Day The Wandering Juvie My Big Fat Geek Wedding Catch 'Em If You Can Simple Simpson The Way We Weren't Bart-Mangled Banner Fraudcast News