Today I Am a Clown/Quotes

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Season 15 Episode Quotes
← 318 "The Fat and the Furriest"
319
"Today I Am a Clown"
"'Tis the Fifteenth Season" 320 →


[Lisa opens the door and picks up Maggie.]
Marge: [gasps] How did you get her out?
Lisa: I tried the coat hanger again. I don't understand why we only try ideas once.

Krusty: I just found out I'm not Jewish! I got turned down by all those country clubs for nothing!

Homer: Who has more power? Miss America or Miss USA?
Carl: I think one's elected, and the other one's appointed.

Bart: [to Lisa] How do you know all this stuff?
Lisa: I have a Jewish imaginary friend. Her name is Rachel Cohen and she just got into Brandeis.

Krusty: [pitching show ideas to Fox] How about one where I move in with a poor family, and laugh at 'em! You see, bec... [the Fox executive looks interested briefly] Okay, how about you televise my bar mitzvah! Live! Please, you people are known for taking chances on crap!

Chief Wiggum: Simpson, I hate to bother you when you're eating. But you're always eating.
Season 15 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XIV • My Mother the Carjacker • The President Wore Pearls • The Regina Monologues • The Fat and the Furriest • Today I Am a Clown • 'Tis the Fifteenth Season • Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays • I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot • Diatribe of a Mad Housewife • Margical History Tour • Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore • Smart and Smarter • The Ziff Who Came to Dinner • Co-Dependent's Day • The Wandering Juvie • My Big Fat Geek Wedding • Catch 'Em If You Can • Simple Simpson • The Way We Weren't • Bart-Mangled Banner • Fraudcast News