Treehouse of Horror XV/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
|
|
|
|
|
|
336
"Treehouse of Horror XV"
|
|
|
- Bart: Am I the only one here who's in horrible pain?
- Homer: You're the only one who won't shut up about it.
- Dr. Hibbert: Ned, you nearly died... of a brain tumor. Thank goodness that bowling ball knocked it out of your head.
- Homer: So, what'd I die of? Too much happiness? Naked girl avalanche?
- Ned Flanders: Uh, you die eating a submarine sandwich.
- Homer: What kind of bread?
- Ned: Country Parmesan.
- Homer: Woo hoo!
- Lisa: Mr. Flanders, why are you moving?
- Ned: 'Cause I had a vision of myself... shooting your father.
- Bart: In this neighborhood, who hasn't?
- Lisa: Well, you can't fight fate, but if you must shoot our father, please remember our family motto: "Not in the face."
- Ned: Homer, please, don't tempt the gods. I-I mean God! There's-there's one God! Only one! Well, sometimes there's three.
- Homer: Oh, I'm so scared. Ned Flanders is pointing a gun at me. You couldn't even shoot me by accident, even if I whacked the barrel like this. [whacks barrel and giggles]
- Ned: Quit whackin' my barrel!
- Ned: Homer, stay away from the nuclear plant.
- Homer: Fine, I'll never go back. Starting tomorrow. Today is Lenny's birthday and they're having ice cream cake.
- Ned: But you're gonna kill us all...
- Homer: But ice cream cake...
- Lou: What should we do with the body?
- Inspector Wiggum: I want you to dust her for prints.
- Eddie: What does that mean?
- Inspector Wiggum: The Prince is coming by. And I want her clean when he looks her over.
- Inspector Wiggum: Well, well, well, look who's here. Master detective Eliza Simpson and her easily amazed sidekick, Dr. Bartley.
- Dr. Bartley: What's this? A doorknob! Good show!
- Marge: Well, it's like this. I'm a proper Cockney flower girl, I am, and I sees this real strange bloke. Out of sorts. Mad in the eyes. All kettles and biscuits. Well, he seen I was lookin' at him and he drops this and runs. Cor, blimey, skip to me loo!
- Simon Stoolowitz: I'm alive! I'm gonna go to America! I'll be in pictures! You'll see! The whole world is gonna know the name Simon Stoolowitz.
- Eliza Simpson: It says here the swords were sold to C. Ebenezer Burns.
- Dr. Bartley: Burns? The evil industrialist who makes coal out of babies?
- C. Ebenezer Burns: The sword of Osiris! I once possessed the entire collection. Then I sold them all for opium. Oh, how I wish I had them back... to sell for more opium.
- Eliza Simpson: Yet another sword of Osiris! But that must mean... the murderer is still at large!
- Dr. Bartley: He could have killed this one days ago—the body is bloated and the face is rotten.
- Selma Bouvier: It was five minutes ago, you twit.
- Homer: Please spare me. I'm not a murderer, I'm not. And I've never known the pleasures of a woman... or a proper eating apple!
- Inspector Wiggum: Why can't you be more like Eddie? He never says a word against me.
- Lou: That's 'cause you cut out his tongue.
- Eddie: E's 'ight, 'eef.
- Professor Frink: Bio-nauts assemble!
- Homer: Captain!
- Lisa: Science officer!
- Bart: Security!
- Marge: Marge!
- Professor Frink: Your ship is wedged in Mr. Burns' heart. And you must dislodge it from the outside. But watch out for retro-viruses. Oh boy, are they retro! It's a fun design by R. Crumb, who was friends with Harvey Pekar. Seriously, though, touch one and you're dead.
- Marge: Why is my swimsuit so revealing?
- Homer: Marge, that's what turns a mediocre voyage into a fantastic voyage. [growls]
- Marge: Bart, what are you doing?
- Bart: Takin' a whiz.
- Marge: Stop that! We're guests in Mr. Burns!
