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Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore/Quotes

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Season 15 Episode Quotes
324 "Margical History Tour"
"Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
"Smart and Smarter" 326

Homer: I'm honored to drink to Apu and... Apulina.

Milhouse: Then, let's just say, I don't care what people think of me anymore.
Bart: You mean, up until now you did care? Then why did you wear that tutu to school last week?
Milhouse: What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu?! Nobody ever brings those up!

Bart: [to Milhouse] Wander away from the group? Man, you been huffin' from the Bart bag?

Lisa: [sprays Bart with the hose] Hahaha! You wet your pants!
Grampa: [appears at the door with wet pants] Shut up, it's a serious problem!

Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last; brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots, or Welshmen and Scots, or Japanese and Scots, or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

Marge: Homie? I'd like to know what you've been doing after work.
Homer: Marge, I'm not gonna lie to you... (pauses then goes back to reading the newspaper)

Lisa: [thinking to herself] Oh, my God! My brother's my best friend!
Bart: [thinking to himself] Oh, my God! My sister's my best friend!
Marge: [thinking to herself] Diamonds! I still can't believe he gave me diamonds!
Homer: [thinking to himself while looking in the mirror] Mirror, mirror on the wall... who's the baldest of them all?

Homer: When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off.

Marge: [after receiving the diamond earrings] Now we finally have something to put in the wall safe! [opens up the safe, and pulls out a Twinkie] Huh? A Twinkie?
Homer: I heard if you aged them for 10 years, they turn into liquor!

Homer: [to a bum] Hey, I know you. We met in a police lineup.
Bum: Oh yeah, yeah. You know number 2 and number 4 are an item now.
Homer: You don't have to tell me, I was number 3.

Homer: Coke and Pepsi are the same thing! Wake up, people! [laughs crazily]

Capitol City Kids: [taunting Bart] Springfield baby in a diaper, poked his eye with a windshield wiper.

Lisa: [to Milhouse] I thought your mom took you away forever.
Kirk Van Houten: I got a court order bringing him back. The judge said I was the most pathetic person he'd ever seen in court. Pity custody! Boo-yeah!

Bart: Since he's been back, Milhouse has had three bloody noses and stepped in dog doo. It's always a party with that guy.

[Homer, Lenny and Carl are rolling barrels of nuclear waste]
Homer: [singing] Rolling, rolling, rolling! Toxic barrel rolling!
Lenny: [singing] They're so hot and glowing!
Carl: [singing] We'll die!

Bart: Lise, you are so dead. [splashes Lisa and she sprays Bart in the face and he picks up the car sponge] I'm gonna hit you so hard I'll kill your whole family.
Lisa: Bart, you're in my family.
Bart: Shut up! [throws the car sponge at Lisa and they start laughing and begin splashing each other]
Season 15 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XIV My Mother the Carjacker The President Wore Pearls The Regina Monologues The Fat and the Furriest Today I Am a Clown 'Tis the Fifteenth Season Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot Diatribe of a Mad Housewife Margical History Tour Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore Smart and Smarter The Ziff Who Came to Dinner Co-Dependent's Day The Wandering Juvie My Big Fat Geek Wedding Catch 'Em If You Can Simple Simpson The Way We Weren't Bart-Mangled Banner Fraudcast News