The 7 Beer Itch/Quotes
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- Groundskeeper Willie: Lily gets why we're here. Life is supposed to be fun. I loved her. We all loved her. The way gophers love that sweet, sweet poison. Every man wanted her for the greatest reason there is. Lily could make life fun.
- Groundskeeper Willie: But like The Beatles and balmy weather, she was too hot for England to handle.
- Female judge: I find you far too alluring for the average Englishman and banish you to Britain's penal colony, America.
- Lily: Oh, farewell, Leo. You're a lovely boy, but my heart isn't some CGI bear for you to conquer.
- Leonardo DiCaprio: But I've completely opened myself up to you. I even admitted I play the same guy in every role. Marry me!
- Lily: Oh, maybe I should go back to England.
- Leonardo DiCaprio: No. Give this country a chance. Don't judge us by Hollywood.
- Lily: All right, but I'm leaving now, dear. You'll have to content yourself with generic supermodels, I'm afraid.
- Leonardo DiCaprio: Nothing ever works out for me.
- Moe Szyslak: The only thing worse than when you guys yap is you sitting here all quiet and sullen.
- Lenny Leonard: I ain't sullen, I'm lachrymose.
- Carl Carlson: Oh, why did I give him that stupid word-a-day calendar?
- Lenny: Hmm. Impulsinicity?
- Homer: Aw, I'm gonna miss you all so much. Well, at least I'll have the dog.
- Lisa: Sorry, Dad. We put the pets with Mr. Flanders because, well, we knew he'd take care of them.
- Marge: We're staying at my Aunt Edith's house at Hyannibunkport. It's south of Squibagansett, east of Codtucket, next to Little Crabkill Bog.
- Homer: Those are great names. You'll never want to leave.
- Lily: You know, Homer, I've never met a man who didn't offer me his chair or his beer.
- Homer: You have now.
- Lily: A good bloke who never had a break, and now has a broken spirit. He's lost and lonely, and really doesn't give a fig about me. I'm in love.
- Barney Gumble: I love him, too.
- Mr. Burns: Smithers, that woman has captivated me, which, if memory serves, is an early state of physical arousal.
- Waylon Smithers: Sir, we've been through this before with several women and one very shapely tree.
- Mr. Burns: I feel a tingle I haven't felt since they took the cocaine out of Coca-Cola.
- Lily: Homer! I'm so glad you asked me to meet you here.
- Homer: Thanks, I'm glad you feel that way. But there's something I didn't tell you. Uh... you're on a date with my boss.
- Lily: Why did you bring me here?
- Homer: Fear of unemployment.
- Lily: Thank God you were there to save me.
- Homer: That's what I'm best at: saving people from things I get them into.
- Homer: Look, Lily. You're the most... Um...
- Lily: Finish that thought.
- Homer: You're the most anything of any woman I've ever known except for my wife. Who I loved... I mean love! I said "love!"
- Lily: We'll see each other in our dreams, whether you like it or not.
- Homer: You stay out of my dreams! All my stuff's in there!
- Marge: You're home.
- Homer: Yes, I am. And I'll never leave you. There might be frequent interruptions. I may stop at Moe's, I may be watching the hot dogs spin at the movie theater, or I may be picking a flower for you... but I will never, ever leave you.
- Marge: Aw, Homie.
