Married to the Blob/Quotes
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- Bart: Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
- Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.
- Bart: You never watched an episode of Jimmy Kimmel in your life.
- Homer: Yes, I have. After the Oscars, when he forces you.
- Milhouse: Oh. Oh. Mr. Book Guy. Can I go first? I was once cast to play Fallout Boy in a movie.
- Comic Book Guy: Tell it to Harlan Ellison.
- Harlan Ellison: I think, you over-privileged kids with your electronic tablets and your talking phones wouldn't know a good piece of fiction if your iPod read it to your ass.
- Milhouse: I wish someone would have come from the future and warned me not to talk to you.
- Harlan Ellison: That's my idea! You're stealing my idea!
- Milo: C-B-G. What's the happs, my man?
- Comic Book Guy: Well, well, well. If it isn't Milo, the owner of my main competitor, Coolsville. Or should I say, "Foolsville."
- Comic Book Guy: Nerds don't get girls.
- Milo: These days they do, man. Comic-Con is now 8% women.
- Homer: Come on, buddy, I gotta get home and climb into bed with my loving wife.
- Comic Book Guy: Oh, right. You have a loving wife.
- Homer: Oh. Marge and I get along perfect. We're like George Burns and John Denver.
- Stan Lee: Come on, nudnik. Ask her out.
- Comic Book Guy: You're interfering.
- Stan Lee: Hey, I'm 90 years old. I can do what I want.
- Comic Book Guy: You have seen me before?
- Kumiko: Yes. Through window. But you don't see me. You're either looking down in disgust, or up in disdain. I think you have great soul.
- Comic Book Guy: Would you permit me to go in the back, and do a brief inventory? (Walk to his office kindly, close the door then shout "She tolerates me!". He walk out of his room exhale, them give those flowers to Kumiko with Hulk hand) Is it too soon to give you flowers in a Hulk hand?
- Kumiko: (take the flower) It is the perfect time.
- Kumiko: Does anyone tell you that you look like the man on a box of Mr. Sparkle?
- [Homer speaking Japanese excitedly]
- Kumiko: In Japan, drinking your detergent is a popular method of suicide.
- [Homer gasps then asking exclamation question in Japanese]
- Mr. Nakamura: (Speaking in Japanese accent) Excuse me, sir. I am looking for my daughter. I thought this was her residence, but all I see is a store full of, uh, non-pornographic manga.
- Homer: You're Kumiko's father? Welcome, sensei.
- Mr. Nakamura: I am not a Kung fu instructor. I am a humble salary man who could kick your ass. Say, has anyone told you, "you look like--"
- Homer: I know. Mr. Sparkle.
- Mr. Nakamura: I was going to say, like you're going to have a stroke.
- Homer: I get that a lot too.
- Mr. Nakamura: You can retrieve rants if you did not empty your trash.
- Mr. Nakamura: Homer, drinking that snake wine and going to White Castle afterwards really opened my eyes.
- Comic Book Guy: Mr. Nakamura, I have used my hitherto unmentioned chemical engineering degree to get a real job at the Springfield Phosphate Works.
- Lisa: They're giant polluters. But the CEO is a woman. It's very vexing.
- Comic Book Guy: Since I met Kumiko, strangely, comic books no longer seem so important. I will also be selling greeting cards. And, every day, I will give one to Kumiko in commemoration of today with the salutation, "Best... Day... Ever."
