The Sound of Bleeding Gums/Quotes
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< The Sound of Bleeding Gums
Revision as of 08:22, April 12, 2022 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{TabQ}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Pretty Whittle Liar|My Octopus and a Teacher}} {{qf|Lisa}} I can't believe they're using a jazz legend to sell lottery tickets. {{qf|[[Bart]...")
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- Lisa: I can't believe they're using a jazz legend to sell lottery tickets.
- Bart: Why do you hate the lottery? It's my retirement plan.
- Helen Lovejoy: Oh, lighten up, Lisa. As Jesus said, "You've got to play to win."
- Lisa: He didn't say that.
- Reverend Lovejoy: After he turned water into wine, he said a lot of stuff that he didn't remember in the morning.
- Kent Brockman: Let me tell you something, people. One more number, and I'm a winner. If it happens, that's the last you'll see of me. I despise this town, especially the death-stalking ghouls who watch local news. And the last number is... 62. I lost. In other news, Kent Brockman's "Hooray for Springfield!" airs tomorrow at 8:00. Oh, I love this town.
- Homer: Lisa, if you ever listen to one thing I say, it's this: don't try to save anyone or anything. Please, please, do not waste your time chasing lost causes. The environment? It's over. Democracy? Hanging by a thread. Broadcast television? Only losers still watch that. So promise me you won't waste time on this jazz dealy.
- Bleeding Gums Murphy: Don't worry, Lisa. To me, you're perfect.
- Lisa: I am?
- Bleeding Gums Murphy: Yes. But I'm just an image created by your mind, so I say what you want.
- Lisa: Sorry, I'm too sad. I can barely play the soulless sounds of Kenny G.
- Bart: No one likes Kenny G. That's why they killed Kenny A through F.
- Dr. Hibbert: Uh, how are you paying for this appointment?
- Bleeding Gums Murphy: With this.
- Dr. Hibbert: Looks like about $16.
- Bleeding Gums Murphy: Yeah. I had a good month.
- [in the present]
- Lisa: Wow. That must be when your father wrote "Sixteen Bucks Just Ain't Enough."
- Lisa: I was destined to find you. My new mission in life is to make you happy. You're my new cause.
- Monk Murphy: Hold up. I'm not anybody's cause. I enjoy who I am. I love my community. And, you know, sometimes I like turning off annoying sounds by just closing my eyes. Oh, yes. I hate annoying noises.
- Etta Pryor: Monk Murphy? Your dad used to bring you here when you was just a baby. You know, I wrote so many songs about you. Like, uh, um, um, "Please Change the Baby's Diaper." "That Baby Spit Up on My Good Dress." And "Who Brings a Baby to a Jazz Club?" Now, that was a smash hit.
- Treasured Artists Publishing owner: Look, before I can even talk to you, sign this. Please.
- [Monk signs it]
- Lisa: Why'd you do that?
- Monk Murphy: All I got was "please." That mustache makes his lips hard to read.
- Treasured Artists Publishing owner: Ah, thanks. I work hard on not having readable lips. Or handwriting. Or fingerprints.
- Monk Murphy: I'm happy. Let me rephrase that. I was happy until a little girl came and told me I wasn't. Please, stop helping me.
- Lisa: No, no, no, no, no. Give me one more chance.
- Monk Murphy: Read my lips. Nope.
- Lisa: Is this where Monk Murphy works?
- The Sky's the Limit employee: Yes. He's directing a production of Richard III. I believe it's the first time an eight-year-old deaf girl has played that role.
- Lisa: Wow. I am so there.
- Monk Murphy: Awesome. And guess what? I'm getting the implant.
- Lisa: That's wonderful. How did you get the money?
- Monk Murphy: I finished ninth in the lottery. "Get in it to win it, it just takes a minute."
- Lisa: Ugh. Forget I asked.
- Lisa: This is gonna be so great. I've picked something very special for the first sounds you'll ever hear. [looks at record] Screw you, Bart!
- Monk Murphy: "Screw you, Bart"? I heard that. Wow. Beautiful.
