Treehouse of Horror XIII/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Treehouse of Horror XIII"
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Opening Sequence
- Maude's Ghost: Are you ready for tales that will shatter your spine and boil your blood?!
- Lisa: Well, duh.
Send in the Clones
- Ned: [looking through kitchen window] Hey, Homer, I was wondering if I could borrow that chainsaw you, ahh... stole from me?
- Homer: Yeah, but you'll have to leave a credit card.
- Ned: No problem.[takes out card] Discover okay?
- Homer: [reproachfully] Ned.
- Ned: Okay, here's my Amex.
- Moe: All right, who's paying the tab?
- Homer's clones: LENNY!
- Lenny: Anything for Homers.
- Marge: No belly button? You're a clone! Then the real Homer--
- Homer clone: First over cliff.
- Homer: [just created two clones of himself] Now there's four of me. I think this might be a magic hammock.
The Fright to Creep and Scare Harms
- Lisa: I dream of a world without guns. Don't we all, William?
- Bart: Lisa has a dead boyfriend!
- Lisa: He's not my dead boyfriend! He's a dead boy that happens to be my friend.
- Lou: [handing in his gun] This always made me feel like a man, you know? Now all I got is my enormous genitals.
- William "Billy the Kid" Bonney: [introducing his gang] The Sundance Kid!
- Comic Book Guy: What happened to Butch Cassidy?
- Sundance Kid: "What happened to Butch Cassidy?" We're not joined at the hip, ya know!
- Sideshow Mel: Another tragedy prevented by gun violence!
- Marge: The House of Pain? I guess this is where you pay the bill. [laughs] Why am I always funny when no one's around?
- Homer: Oh my God! She's become a monster! Which I have to admit, I sorta suspected during the sex.
- Comic Book Guy (Half-goat): Hear me, accursed brethren! I understand some of you are still wearing tattered pants. Please throw them on the bonfire, and embrace your animal essence.
- Chief Wiggum (Half-pig): Okay, but I'm keeping my tattered vest. I still have my dignity. Hey, slops! [eats slops] Ooohh, a toenail! Heh, Heh! [eats the toenail]
- Homer: You guys are nuts! All you can do is eat and sleep and mate and roll around in your own filth and mate and eat -- [abruptly breaks off] Where do I sign up?
- Lisa: How do you like being a walrus, Dad?
- Homer: It's great! I haven't been this skinny since high school!
