Difference between revisions of "Bartless/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 11:20, March 6, 2023

Bart: [reading] "Every day, the milkman brings fresh milk to your milk box." [making it up] But... the milkman has to be real careful, because hiding inside every milk box is... a fart monster!

Riley: Does it really say that?

Bart: Sit back, kid, and I'll tell you where milk really comes from. On the farm, cows eat pig boogers... Which their butts turn into milk. Then the cows are loaded onto farm rockets. But space goats and astro donkeys headbutt the beef shuttle! And that is where milk comes from.

Marge: What Bart did was inexcusable.

Homer: He's a bad kid. Straight up.

Marge: You're lucky you only have him for one year.

Rayshelle Peyton: Well, it might be two, but that's another meeting.

Ralph Wiggum: [reading] "One evening, Ralph decided to go for a walk in the moonlight."

Martha: This is the first book he hasn't tried to kiss or wear as a hat.

Marge: So what are we looking at today?

Tracey: Well, I heard Dr. Vargas is cheating on Dr. Chen with that gorgeous new resident.

Marge: Great. Now, what about our patients?

Tracey: I have no idea. But I made a chart showing who on staff is hooking up with who.

Nurse: Dr. Simpson. They need you in Room 6. Code Blue!

Marge: What's the crisis?

Nurse: Dr. Kern fell in love with his wife's sister's wife, and now he's questioning everything.

Marge: Who are you, little boy? Where are your parents? What's your name?

Bart: I'm Bart... um, something. Who the hell are you?

Dr. Hibbert: Now, you can't remember anything before the accident?

Bart: Sorry, I got nothing.

Dr. Hibbert: Well, have you ever had amnesia before?

Bart: No way I'd forget something like that.

Tracey: Oh, my God, have you heard? The man we thought was Dr. Taylor was actually his murderous twin. And last night, he proposed!

Homer: So, how late did you two crazy kids stay up watching cartoons?

Lisa: I don't know, but all the ads on TV were about calling women who couldn't wait to talk to us right now.

Homer: We just couldn't wait to tell you something. We like you.

Marge: We like our son so much.

Homer: We just realized.

Bart: Mm, I like you guys, too. Wait. What do you mean, you just realized?