Difference between revisions of "Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington/Quotes"

Revision as of 17:52, March 7, 2020

Homer: Mmmmmm... promo. EEWWW!!! Fox!!!!

Channel 6 TV announcer: You're watching Channel 6, Springfield's home for Krusty the Clown, now on 3 times a day. Because at Channel 6, we got nothin' else!

Marge: There has to be a solution that pleases everyone, from ducks and trees to you's and me's.

Professor John Frink: [pedaling a flying contraption in the air] If I stop pedaling, I'll die! But it still beats U.S. Air!

Grampa: [moving across the floor on a toilet] I've had this dream before.

Lisa: Krusty, I don't usually give advice to Republicans. But it would be nice to be on the winning side... for once.

Bart: Krusty, I thought you'd make a difference, that's why I voted for you!

Krusty: How could you vote? You're only 10!

Bart: This is not about me, or how many times I voted.

Krusty: I vow to reach out to the Latino community! [in Spanish] Voy a vomitar en la tomba de tu madre!

[The crowd gasps.]

Bumblebee Man: Ay yi yi!

Krusty: What'd I say? What'd I say?

Bumblebee Man: You said you were going to vomit on their mothers' graves!

Krusty: Oh! So that's why my maid quit.

Krusty: I could even tell the FCC to take a hike. Look at this list of words they won't let me say on the air.(hands Bart a piece of paper)

Bart: Aww! All the good ones. Hmm, I never even heard of number nine.

Krusty: That's 2-ing 13 while she's 11-ing your 5.

Bart: Can I keep this?

Krusty: Sure, no 12 off my ass.

Homer: I guess there's only one way out of our problems: a murder-suicide pact.

Marge: How can you say that?

Homer: It's just an expression, Marge.

Krusty: Are you guys any good at covering up youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?

Mr. Burns: Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?

Krusty: Russian hooker. You tell me.

Mr.Burns: No problem, we'll just say you were on a fact finding mission.

Krusty: I did find out one fact, she was a guy!

Dr. Hibbert: Well if Eddie Murphy can go on to play Dr. Dolittle I suppose we can make this work. Congratulations Krusty, you're running for congress!

Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman, with a special live report from the headquarters of Krusty opponent John Armstrong. How can I prove we're live? Penis! Now here's the candidate.

Ralph: [to Homer] I'll give you a milk and 3 crayons for your house.

Cookie Kwan: It's a good deal. I advise you to take it.

Homer: Make it a chocolate milk and you got a deal.

Ralph: I'm walking away. [walks away]

Mr. Burns: Welcome, fellow Republicans. To start with the old business, Brother Hibbert will read a report on our efforts to rename everything after Ronald Reagan.

Dr. Hibbert: All Millard Fillmore schools are now Ronald Reagans, the Mississippi River is now the Mississippi Reagan...

Count Dracula: And my good friend Frankenstein is now Franken-reagan. Blah!

Mr. Burns: Excellent!