• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

Difference between revisions of "Yokel Chords/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
(Undo revision 498056 by 27.110.175.32 (talk) That's not a joke.)
Line 2: Line 2:
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Springfield Up|Rome-Old and Juli-Eh}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Springfield Up|Rome-Old and Juli-Eh}}
  
:''[Bart goes to therapy]''
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} I overslept! The family can't start the day without me!
:'''[[Bart]]:''' Come on dad, why do I have to go see a psychologist?
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Relax, baby. While you were dreaming of me and calling me "James," I took care of everything.
:'''[[Homer]]:''' The school is paying for five sessions and there's a Chinese restaurant where I can get drunk.
+
{{qf|Marge}} ''[relieved]'' Homie, you woke up early?
:'''Chinese man:''' Ready, Shirley? This one likes the act. ''[puts Chinese hat on and begins speaking in a very stereotypical accent]'' "Hello Mr. Simpson! Come on in, sit down, drinkie drinkie!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Eh, stumbled home at dawn, same diff.
:'''Chinese woman:''' Where [[Marge]]? She superlady!
 
 
 
 
----
 
----
 
+
{{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Simpson, I know you're behind this. Well, you are gonna get some counseling from our school psychologist.
:''[Homer is drunk and half passed out in a dumpster]''
+
{{qf|[[Springfield Elementary School psychologist|School psychologist]]}} ''[terrified]'' [[Dark Stanley]]'s gonna eat my brains!
:'''Bart:''' And my dad never takes me on the ferris booger, he's always too busy passed out in the parking snot.
+
{{qf|[[Superintendent Chalmers]]}} Or from a qualified professional.
:'''Homer:''' ''[outside]'' He's lying!
+
----
:'''Chinese man:''' Mr. Simpson, you frink too many scorpian bowl. You go sleepy sleepy now. Did you get his wallet?
+
{{qf|[[Groundskeeper Willie]]}} I'll bring those wee ones back -- dead or alive!
:'''Chinese woman:''' Every president has a word bubble saying I am gay.
+
{{qf|Skinner}} Not dead!
 
+
{{qf|Willie}} Aw, ya never let Willie be Willie.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Cletus Spuckler]]}} We home-school 'em. I teach the big ones and the big ones teach the little ones. But no one ever taught me, which makes the whole thing just an exercise in futility.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Skinner}} Sir, if we let these hill folk into our school, our test scores would drop so low, we'd lose all federal funding.
 +
{{qf|Chalmers}} I see. And we've already lost state, county and local funding.
 +
{{qf|Skinner}} Plus our last bake sale was a disaster. People took bites without buying the cookies.
 +
{{qf|Chalmers}} Yes, we're not very good at anything.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Skinner}} Lisa, would you consider tutoring Cletus' children?
 +
{{qf|Chalmers}} You'll be happy, they'll be happy, and I can go home and enjoy some delicious fondue.
 +
{{qf|Skinner}} Made with the fondue set I bought you for Christmas?
 +
{{qf|Chalmers}} No.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Why do I have to go to a stupid psychiatrist? I told a scary story, big deal.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Look boy, nobody knows better than me that you're a lost cause. But the school's paying for five sessions and there's a Chinese restaurant next door where I can get drunk.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Stacey Swanson]]}} Bart, my name is Doctor Swanson...
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Stop right there, Doc. This school has sent me to more therapists than you've had bad dates. I've looked at the ink blots, I've played with the puppets, the whole racket's a hat fulla crap.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Dr. Swanson}} ''[reading back Bart's "sad-lib"]'' The county fair is always sucky to visit on a hot summer fart. You can eat delicious cotton hate. And ride the Ferris burp and the merry-go-booger.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} ''[laughing]'' You can't make that stuff up!
 +
{{qf|Dr. Swanson}} What's this tell you, Bart?
 +
{{qf|Bart}} That this is one terrible county fair.
 +
{{qf|Dr. Swanson}} And...?
 +
{{qf|Bart}} ''[suddenly sad]'' And... My Dad never takes me on the merry-go-booger. He's always passed out in the parking snot.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Krusty the Clown]]}} That's right. I want to hire your entire Appalachian dumpling gang, and I'll pay them the most anyone on TV is entitled to get: scale!
 +
{{qf|[[Cletus Spuckler]]}} Now I don't sign nothin' without pretendin' to read it first. ''[looks over contract]'' Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger... looks good.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Bart}} ...And I wasn't planned, so when I came, my parents had to get married. And they were too young and not ready for a kid to screw up their lives. Maybe... I act out because... if my parents are mad at me, they can't fight with each other!
 +
{{qf|Dr. Swanson}} And maybe that's why you do things like scare your classmates with Dark Stanley?
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Yeah, that and "Stanley" was the brand of hammer my dad used to hit me with.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Cletus}} Brandine! You're supposed to be in Iraq, stopping 9-11! Did ya get the body armor I sent ya?
 +
{{qf|[[Brandine Del Roy]]}} ''[sheepish]'' Sold it for smokes.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Brandine}} Cletus, we're goin' home. How much money do we have left?
 +
{{qf|Cletus}} Uh, I owe Krusty twelve thousand dollars.
 +
{{qf|Brandine}} We can live on that.
  
 
{{Season 18|Q}}
 
{{Season 18|Q}}

Revision as of 12:55, December 7, 2019


Season 18 Episode Quotes
391 "Springfield Up"
392
"Yokel Chords"
"Rome-Old and Juli-Eh" 393


Marge: I overslept! The family can't start the day without me!
Homer: Relax, baby. While you were dreaming of me and calling me "James," I took care of everything.
Marge: [relieved] Homie, you woke up early?
Homer: Eh, stumbled home at dawn, same diff.

Principal Skinner: Simpson, I know you're behind this. Well, you are gonna get some counseling from our school psychologist.
School psychologist: [terrified] Dark Stanley's gonna eat my brains!
Superintendent Chalmers: Or from a qualified professional.

Groundskeeper Willie: I'll bring those wee ones back -- dead or alive!
Skinner: Not dead!
Willie: Aw, ya never let Willie be Willie.

Cletus Spuckler: We home-school 'em. I teach the big ones and the big ones teach the little ones. But no one ever taught me, which makes the whole thing just an exercise in futility.

Skinner: Sir, if we let these hill folk into our school, our test scores would drop so low, we'd lose all federal funding.
Chalmers: I see. And we've already lost state, county and local funding.
Skinner: Plus our last bake sale was a disaster. People took bites without buying the cookies.
Chalmers: Yes, we're not very good at anything.

Skinner: Lisa, would you consider tutoring Cletus' children?
Chalmers: You'll be happy, they'll be happy, and I can go home and enjoy some delicious fondue.
Skinner: Made with the fondue set I bought you for Christmas?
Chalmers: No.

Bart: Why do I have to go to a stupid psychiatrist? I told a scary story, big deal.
Homer: Look boy, nobody knows better than me that you're a lost cause. But the school's paying for five sessions and there's a Chinese restaurant next door where I can get drunk.

Stacey Swanson: Bart, my name is Doctor Swanson...
Bart: Stop right there, Doc. This school has sent me to more therapists than you've had bad dates. I've looked at the ink blots, I've played with the puppets, the whole racket's a hat fulla crap.

Dr. Swanson: [reading back Bart's "sad-lib"] The county fair is always sucky to visit on a hot summer fart. You can eat delicious cotton hate. And ride the Ferris burp and the merry-go-booger.
Bart: [laughing] You can't make that stuff up!
Dr. Swanson: What's this tell you, Bart?
Bart: That this is one terrible county fair.
Dr. Swanson: And...?
Bart: [suddenly sad] And... My Dad never takes me on the merry-go-booger. He's always passed out in the parking snot.

Krusty the Clown: That's right. I want to hire your entire Appalachian dumpling gang, and I'll pay them the most anyone on TV is entitled to get: scale!
Cletus Spuckler: Now I don't sign nothin' without pretendin' to read it first. [looks over contract] Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger... looks good.

Bart: ...And I wasn't planned, so when I came, my parents had to get married. And they were too young and not ready for a kid to screw up their lives. Maybe... I act out because... if my parents are mad at me, they can't fight with each other!
Dr. Swanson: And maybe that's why you do things like scare your classmates with Dark Stanley?
Bart: Yeah, that and "Stanley" was the brand of hammer my dad used to hit me with.

Cletus: Brandine! You're supposed to be in Iraq, stopping 9-11! Did ya get the body armor I sent ya?
Brandine Del Roy: [sheepish] Sold it for smokes.

Brandine: Cletus, we're goin' home. How much money do we have left?
Cletus: Uh, I owe Krusty twelve thousand dollars.
Brandine: We can live on that.
Season 18 Quotes
The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer Jazzy and the Pussycats Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em Treehouse of Horror XVII G.I. (Annoyed Grunt) Moe'N'a Lisa Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair) The Haw-Hawed Couple Kill Gil, Volumes I & II The Wife Aquatic Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times Little Big Girl Springfield Up Yokel Chords Rome-Old and Juli-Eh Homerazzi Marge Gamer The Boys of Bummer Crook and Ladder Stop, or My Dog Will Shoot! 24 Minutes You Kent Always Say What You Want