Difference between revisions of "Rome-Old and Juli-Eh/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Yokel Chords|Homerazzi}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Yokel Chords|Homerazzi}} | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} You redid the basement! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Whoa... feel the pile on this shag! ''[he starts rubbing his face on the carpet]'' Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho, baby! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Would you look at that paneling! I feel like I'm back in wooden times! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Check out this pinball machine! Chevy Chase in "Foul Play". | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Pinball, eh? I've always wanted to try this. ''[he starts playing the game]'' Wow, the graphics are amazing. That ball almost seems real! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Accountant}} Mr. Simpson, among the expenses the court deems frivolous: you throw over one thousand dollars a month into local wishing wells. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Of course, you idiot, 'cause I'm wishing for more money. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Accountant}} Uh-huh, well, you're going to have to make some serious cutbacks to your expenses. Three subscriptions to "Vanity Fair"? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I've got three bathrooms, don't I? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Accountant}} Five hundred dollars a month to Totalpoker.com? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Shut up! It's an instructional website! Shut up! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} I don't wanna leave! You promised me I could die here! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} No, no. This place is too expensive. I saw you doing a 500-piece jigsaw in there! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Grampa's driving me crazy! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Why are you telling me? He's your father-in-law. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} What are you doing here, Patty or Selma? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} I invited Selma here to watch Grampa watch the kids. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Selma Bouvier]]}} For some reason, she doesn't trust him. Maybe it's the bang-up job he did of raising you. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} He was a great dad! Every year he got so mad when [[Santa]] didn't bring me presents! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Selma}} I know what you're wondering: How come a single woman with so much to offer is alone on a Saturday night? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} I assumed you were resting up for bingo tomorrow, like me. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Selma}} ''[groans]'' My numbers don't get called much these days. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} You're kiddin'. A sweet young thing like you? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Selma}} Wow, that's the first time anyone's ever put an adjective before calling me a thing. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Homer and Marge walk in on Grampa and Selma kissing]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Aah! A bear is eating my father! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Selma}} I'm Selma! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Aah! A talking bear is eating my father! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} Yeah, I know who I was kissing, and I also know why. I'm a little shaky on when and where, but I got my theories! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Now, we just have to figure out what to do with these boxes. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} As always, I have some ideas. | |
| − | :'' | + | :''[she hands him a list]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Hmm... ''[laughs]'' Build a fart! Ha, ha, ha, ha, I love it! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Fort. That's "build a fort". | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} That might work, too. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} At my age and with your drawbacks, we can't afford to miss an opportunity. Why don't we just spend time together and see where that takes us? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Selma}} Yeah, what the hell. Wanna split a basket of garlic bread? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} Slow down, ya hussy! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Aww. Look at Grampa and Selma frolicking in the water. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} It's not right. It's like an old sea turtle dating a suitcase that fell out of a plane. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Be nice, Homer. Don't you see how great it is that they found each other? Like how the parts of a pig that nobody wants combine to make a yummy hot dog. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Oh, now you're dragging hot dogs into this. Real classy, Marge. Real classy. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} How could my dad go out with Selma? Don't those two gargoyles know that love is for good-looking young people? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} Uh, gee, Homer, you, uh, ain't exactly open-casket material yourself. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Patty Bouvier]]}} Look, if you wanna break up your father and Selma, I have a plan. But it involves you. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Okay, I'm not good at details. Or the big picture. I also show up late, and drunk. ''[he shakes her hand and whispers loudly]'' I've got a good feeling about this. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Delivery man}} I shall go. But I will return with an army of my brethren. And together we shall take back what is ours and Hell will rain down upon you! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} What if we're not here? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Delivery man}} We will come two more times, and then you'll have to come to our customer center. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Patty}} Do you have your disguise? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Hola, I am Esteban de la Sexface. That means Stephen of the Sexface. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} Homer! Why would you try to break us up!? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I guess I always dreamed that my father would grow old alone. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} Well, nerts to both of ya! Our love is so strong, not even a thousand crazy schemes could tear it apart! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} A thousand, eh? | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Selma}} Sorry I was at work so late. How'd it go with the baby? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} We're having a great time. I cleaned up all my best war stories for her. I told her how we chased the teddy bears into their cuddle bunkers, then had to tickle them out with machine-hugs and fun-throwers. They say the more soldiers you tickle, the easier it gets. Well, sir, it doesn't. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Male assistant}} The new traffic cones are held up in [[Harrisburg]]. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Selma}} Go to the costume store. Buy a hundred wizard hats and a bucket of orange paint. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Selma}} I guess [[The Beatles]] were wrong... love isn't all you need. Abe, I hate to admit it, but maybe this marriage isn't going to work. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Grampa}} I guess you're right. Also, I didn't realize you liked The Beatles. That would have caused some problems down the line. | |
{{Season 18|Q}} | {{Season 18|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 05:42, December 28, 2023
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- Marge: You redid the basement!
- Bart: Whoa... feel the pile on this shag! [he starts rubbing his face on the carpet] Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho, baby!
- Marge: Would you look at that paneling! I feel like I'm back in wooden times!
- Lisa: Check out this pinball machine! Chevy Chase in "Foul Play".
- Bart: Pinball, eh? I've always wanted to try this. [he starts playing the game] Wow, the graphics are amazing. That ball almost seems real!
- Accountant: Mr. Simpson, among the expenses the court deems frivolous: you throw over one thousand dollars a month into local wishing wells.
- Homer: Of course, you idiot, 'cause I'm wishing for more money.
- Accountant: Uh-huh, well, you're going to have to make some serious cutbacks to your expenses. Three subscriptions to "Vanity Fair"?
- Homer: I've got three bathrooms, don't I?
- Accountant: Five hundred dollars a month to Totalpoker.com?
- Marge: Shut up! It's an instructional website! Shut up!
- Grampa: I don't wanna leave! You promised me I could die here!
- Homer: No, no. This place is too expensive. I saw you doing a 500-piece jigsaw in there!
- Marge: Grampa's driving me crazy!
- Homer: Why are you telling me? He's your father-in-law.
- Homer: What are you doing here, Patty or Selma?
- Marge: I invited Selma here to watch Grampa watch the kids.
- Selma Bouvier: For some reason, she doesn't trust him. Maybe it's the bang-up job he did of raising you.
- Homer: He was a great dad! Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents!
- Selma: I know what you're wondering: How come a single woman with so much to offer is alone on a Saturday night?
- Grampa: I assumed you were resting up for bingo tomorrow, like me.
- Selma: [groans] My numbers don't get called much these days.
- Grampa: You're kiddin'. A sweet young thing like you?
- Selma: Wow, that's the first time anyone's ever put an adjective before calling me a thing.
- [Homer and Marge walk in on Grampa and Selma kissing]
- Homer: Aah! A bear is eating my father!
- Selma: I'm Selma!
- Homer: Aah! A talking bear is eating my father!
- Homer: Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you?
- Grampa: Yeah, I know who I was kissing, and I also know why. I'm a little shaky on when and where, but I got my theories!
- Bart: Now, we just have to figure out what to do with these boxes.
- Lisa: As always, I have some ideas.
- [she hands him a list]
- Bart: Hmm... [laughs] Build a fart! Ha, ha, ha, ha, I love it!
- Lisa: Fort. That's "build a fort".
- Bart: That might work, too.
- Grampa: At my age and with your drawbacks, we can't afford to miss an opportunity. Why don't we just spend time together and see where that takes us?
- Selma: Yeah, what the hell. Wanna split a basket of garlic bread?
- Grampa: Slow down, ya hussy!
- Marge: Aww. Look at Grampa and Selma frolicking in the water.
- Homer: It's not right. It's like an old sea turtle dating a suitcase that fell out of a plane.
- Marge: Be nice, Homer. Don't you see how great it is that they found each other? Like how the parts of a pig that nobody wants combine to make a yummy hot dog.
- Homer: Oh, now you're dragging hot dogs into this. Real classy, Marge. Real classy.
- Homer: How could my dad go out with Selma? Don't those two gargoyles know that love is for good-looking young people?
- Moe Szyslak: Uh, gee, Homer, you, uh, ain't exactly open-casket material yourself.
- Patty Bouvier: Look, if you wanna break up your father and Selma, I have a plan. But it involves you.
- Homer: Okay, I'm not good at details. Or the big picture. I also show up late, and drunk. [he shakes her hand and whispers loudly] I've got a good feeling about this.
- Delivery man: I shall go. But I will return with an army of my brethren. And together we shall take back what is ours and Hell will rain down upon you!
- Lisa: What if we're not here?
- Delivery man: We will come two more times, and then you'll have to come to our customer center.
- Patty: Do you have your disguise?
- Homer: Hola, I am Esteban de la Sexface. That means Stephen of the Sexface.
- Grampa: Homer! Why would you try to break us up!?
- Homer: I guess I always dreamed that my father would grow old alone.
- Grampa: Well, nerts to both of ya! Our love is so strong, not even a thousand crazy schemes could tear it apart!
- Homer: A thousand, eh?
- Selma: Sorry I was at work so late. How'd it go with the baby?
- Grampa: We're having a great time. I cleaned up all my best war stories for her. I told her how we chased the teddy bears into their cuddle bunkers, then had to tickle them out with machine-hugs and fun-throwers. They say the more soldiers you tickle, the easier it gets. Well, sir, it doesn't.
- Male assistant: The new traffic cones are held up in Harrisburg.
- Selma: Go to the costume store. Buy a hundred wizard hats and a bucket of orange paint.
- Selma: I guess The Beatles were wrong... love isn't all you need. Abe, I hate to admit it, but maybe this marriage isn't going to work.
- Grampa: I guess you're right. Also, I didn't realize you liked The Beatles. That would have caused some problems down the line.
